Lemmy has an undeniable woman problem that it carried over from Reddit. I’ve lost count of the number of pathetic blokes that I have blocked on here for anti feminism.
yep it’s pretty horrible. any time gender issues are brought up there’s dozens of comments saying “what about the men” and completely missing the point
The response to “what about men” comments is, we’re already talking about men when we talk about misogyny. Misandry and misogyny are the exact same problem, strictly enforced gender roles. If you deviate, you are punished. The men that are caregivers are derided just like the women that refuse to rear children. Every other related paradigm punches down into the people who do not conform. Stoicism in men, histrionics in women.
Either is a foil for the other and it’s exactly the same bullshit.
What about the me
You can’t spell me with me.
wat
As a guy, I do recognise that men are disadvantaged in many areas and need to be put on equal footing with women-- like courts disproportionately award custody of children to mothers, regardless of how unfit the mother is to be a caregiver. But broadly speaking from my pespective, women are still at more disadvantage. I used to live in a bad part of my city for many years and have had little to no issues. However, it is a different story from women I spoke who got harrased, and another hit on the head. They said they will avoid going to the city ever again. I remember sharing the accounts of these women to other men, and the men were surprised because their experience is the complete opposite. Women are still seen as weak. And in the corporate hierarchy, men (of tall statures) disproportionately make up the board of directors and executive roles.
The court thing is not universally true. I worked in a family law firm for several years, and the practice in the courts here is to start from a baseline of equal custody and placement, and I’ve heard the same about other states. The men who lost out were the ones who wouldn’t fight, because they were convinced that the courts were biased. But hell, in one case, we got full custody and placement for a guy whose son wasn’t even biologically his! (His wife cheated, and he didn’t find out until well after they’d emotionally bonded.)
yep. the difference is, when women have been disadvantaged they tend to create spaces and pathways to talk about or change it. unfortunately a lot of men tend to isolate, even though they are not alone. then when they see something about a women receiving help through programs created by women for women their feelings of being abandoned by the system come up again. it’s just another way that toxic masculinity hurts everyone. the fix for that is of course feminism, but it’s a pretty massive barrier for most men to accept that.
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What about them
EDIT: Look at the responses to this comment for the proof.
100%
It’s really bad and lemmy is really in denial.
Sexism here is much worse than it was on Reddit.
It feels like 2008 Reddit here sexism wise, except instead of Ron Paul libertarians tooting their horns everywhere we have heavy tracked vehicle enthusiasts.
I did hope lemmy having a left leaning culture would help but it does not.
Try making any post that focuses on situations uniquely or disproportionally experienced by women and you get mostly “everyone has that why think about women” or “what about men” or “men have it worst” responses.
you mean the comments that have been downvoted to the bottom?
But the fact that the majority (or perhaps less than half now) of the responses literally prove the point I am trying to make proves my point downvotes or not.
You have to remember the people who would literally unironically make such a post that proves my post are the densest of the dense.
Most sexists, while dense, are less dense than a black hole and would not prove my point for me under such a post.
Oh yea? One time I got kicked in the balls and it kinda hurt. Women have it soooo easy.
Alas I have been shown to be wrong! If not for my womanly ways I would have been the wiser!
Some instances have a left-leaning culture. Lemmy.world definitively does not.
I mean if you use the Marxist/Leninist definition of left then obviously not. But I mean left leaning in terms of the societal understanding.
Try making any post that focuses on situations uniquely or disproportionally experienced by women and you get mostly “what about men” or “men have it worst” responses.
that’s kind of just how controversial things are on the internet though.
Evens shitposting from men will get similar responses from women, it’s just how it is now. Sort of always has been.
THIS. EXACTY THIS RIGHT HERE. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN.
Me: talks about issue disproportionately affecting women.
Lemmy User: It’s not really about women. Everyone suffers from this.
Lmao look at that douchebag’s comment history. Its arguably worse that than comment itself. God I wish there was a male loneliness epidemic because these fuckers stopped talking.
Its arguably worse that than comment itself. God I wish there was a male loneliness epidemic because these fuckers stopped talking.
oh no funny man on the internet yaps a lot about things.
I come here for sociological research more than anything.
I seriously doubt you know what the word research means.
i seriously doubt you have any concrete view of politics or sociology to begin with.
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I bet you can take any situation and make yourself a victim
Stttooooppp you’re giving me old school internet sexism nostalgia. 😂 That 2008 energy.
Do you miss halo 3 lobbies too?
Mhm i knew it haha
yeah bro, it’s the internet, everybody has opinions.
“yeah so actually i think this is a big problem”
“yeah evidently it must be a problem, but like, this has always been a problem, and seems to be a consistent problem”
“YOU’RE LITERALLY THE PROBLEM!!!”
Lemmy User: It’s not really about women. Everyone suffers from this.
also to be clear, you are literally straw-manning me here, i’m not saying that “men have to suffer with women having an opinions” nobody cares, it is what it is, i think it’s interesting actually. You’re the one arguing that because people discuss topics that they find personally relevant is somehow “oppressing women”
I’m not saying you shouldn’t shitpost about that stuff in shitpost threads, by all means do, there’s interesting dialogue in it. I’m just saying this is a common occurrence anywhere on the internet, for any community. Hell go find a community for something as mundane as lego, you’ll find the same shit there.
Not everybody NEEDS to have their own specific issue that specifically effects them for it to be a valid or real problem. I just think this issue is far broader than most people expect it to be, ironically, i could argue you’re literally behaving the exact same way you claim i am. Because you are, and that’s exactly what’s happening.
Do i care? No, i don’t it’s the internet do whatever you want.
Yep. Picking the bear.
what if im the bear?
Nah but have you ever considered that the reason that you think that there is a male loneliness epidemic is because nobody wants to hang out with insufferable misogynists?
no, i don’t think that’s a reasonable answer, because you’re doing the fascist thing of “these people are wrong they need to change, and if they don’t we can justify whatever shitty behavior we want, because we’re morally superior”
It’s not dissimilar to a lot of nazi rhetoric.
I think the problem ultimately stems from a disconnect in social development through out society. Feminism has pushed women forward, successfully in a lot of ways, but it has also pulled men back, in a lot of ways, that’s not necessarily bad, but there is now a void there, and there is nothing filling it in, that’s why the manosphere got so big so fast. It’s literally capitalizing on an empty market.
If you want to solve the manosphere, the solution is simple, we need to fill in the void, and fix this disconnect that’s been happening for probably 75 years now. How we go about that is complicated, and not particularly simple, but i think it’s pretty clearly evident that the problem is aimless/directionless guidance for men especially in the last 20 years. Paired with historically contradictory ideas of manhood. Men are supposed to be strong and protect the weak, but it’s hard to do that when they don’t want it, or need it.
Once this void is filled in, this shit stops happening, simple as.
Community wise we have !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al its a women only community by women for women.
Even if not, you can create one :3
I’m not a woman
Even if not, you can become one :3
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almost all the subs that “are women” are basically astroturfed by men, or some of them are male users posting as a “woman”
Youre absolutely welcome to join Blahaj zone. Our wonderful administration team (both of whom are women) bans misogyny whenever it comes around to our communities. The mods for our main communities share a very aggressive moderation policy.
As much as I appreciate the community and users, there are (or at least were) serious moderation problems on Blahaj, I did not feel safe there when I tried it a year or two ago.
I definitely cannot agree. I encourage anyone who has any issues with moderation to make a post in the Blahaj meta community. Ada and Kaity have been spectacular and have responded to every issue I have come across. There are limits, they can’t preemptively prevent any kind of moderation issue but they respond quickly.
also our wonderful admin kaity did what the lemmy devs couldn’t and nuked the dm spam :)
It really seems like instance admins tend to do a much better job with a lot of stuff on here than the core devs. Its a shame that forking would take as much work as it would.
well some of the devs are too busy arguing over which authoritarian boot tastes the best, all under the guide of leftism, so yeah I imagine the bar isn’t exactly high
Create one!
Not a woman.
Become one /j
Speaking in general: Creating communities/instances is easy. Moderating them is hard.
In particular: I would love to create women’s spaces. But then I’d have to be on the lookout for the Knights of the True Fedora. They’re out there. Somewhere. Now now, I’m not suggesting it’d be a daily problem! …But the actual daily problems (regular spam and whatnot) would suck too.
I’m in charge of !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al I’ve got to say the vast majority of men have been fantastically supportive! Odd comment and spite downvote but it’s manageable
The comments here make me very disappointed in our little corner of the internet. If anyone wants this but doesn’t know how, neither do I but I’d be happy help.
There’s !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
I am disappointed but not surprised. The attitude of men here reminds me a lot of default subs in Reddit. People tend to be more civil, but there is so much “but what about men?” when talking about women’s issues or belittling women still. Business as usual on the Internet, but I can see why it would cause women to avoid Lemmy.
I haven’t been back to Reddit, but it makes me miss the small niches where I didn’t see that as often.
I’ve said it many times before and I’ll say it again, gender relations here are worse than they were on reddit when I stopped using it.
It’s a more niche “back room” kind of forum, so there are less casual browsers and more technerds here, which makes it predominantly male for a lot of reasons that require a whole other discussion to analyse, but it’s exactly like when reddit was a niche “back room” website gaining popularity.
Lets not forget when reddit started, it was absolute chaos, some of the very worst communities imaginable where at home there, and the userbase RAGED every time some pedo or hate sub got purged. But they did get purged, and it became welcoming for a more diverse group of users to participate in. (Until the bot nation attacked)
i wonder if it’s not just worse on lemmy, but gotten worse over time, with the manosphere shit and all it’s relevant problems, neither feminism nor the manosphere, or traditional male gender role has really addressed this issue comprehensively, and we’re starting to see pushback from this issue in real life now, men are enrolling into college less than women, they do worse in most environments, and also are generally worse when it comes to mental health.
I wonder if we just need like a dedicated “social issues space” where people can talk about this stuff.
womans only spaces (popping up because of male dominated spaces) do lead to male only spaces but who cares, ppl that want to be in those spaces can stay there idrc, they dont want my input I dont want theirs
Yeah, it’s natural to have spaces that aren’t for me. It’s fine. I really just have an issue with spaces where I am supposedly welcome to be hostile towards me.
Call it out when you see it. Keep the bar nazi free.
I think there’s a few tutorials about how to set up your own lemmy instance. If so compelled; go for it! If you have any sort of IT background it’ll probably be pretty easy.
Lemmy,blahaj,zone is run by Ada, who is a woman
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
It really comes down to this: if you want your own space for particular interests, you should create one and find likeminded people to populate it. Just waiting for it to magically appear isn’t going to work. Be assertive.
This was just a post to see if there already is something like described
lemmy.blahaj.zone has a decent amount of women and both their admins are women, it’s not a “women’s space” as one would describe since everyone is welcome there but it’s probably the closest thing one would describe as an instance “by women for women”. I am obligated to mention that it is a queer instance and that many of the women there are either trans themselves or strongly supportive of trans people, and do not tolerate transphobia or anti-LGBT sentiment (including refusal to support LGBTQ people) at all.
Good.
As much as I appreciate the community and users at Blahaj, in my personal experience, the moderation was fairly wanting. At least a year or two ago (not sure about now), they tolerated some pretty freakish right-wing people who enabled chasers and other weird shit on their communities.
They certainly do not seem very tolerant of that now, they very commonly ban people for thinly veiled homophobia and transphobia that would normally slide on other sites. They do not even seem mildly willing to tolerate the intolerant.
Beat me to it. Their zero tolerance for misogyny/transphobia extends to who they federate with. If a server doesn’t care about its users being transphobic then it gets the axe. I remember it being a big hub bub because an instance was actually using its defederation option.
spinster exists but I think its the opposite where its antitrans
The admin behind it is also a man so its for (some) women by a man. Literally the opposite.
Yeah Spinster is generally considered a hate site, and consequently is very widely defederated, even from general purpose instances like lemmy.world. Also it’s less of a Reddit alternative and more of a Twitter alternative but is technically redundant since you can do everything you did on there on the real thing instead.
We all pretend that it didn’t exist and do not acknowledge its presence; that’s the informal rule.
I thought that was mastodon. Do they have a lemmy instance as well?
Nope, just micro-blogging.
Thought it was
blahaj.zoneAnyway, they dont have it AFAIK
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I want there to be a witchesvspatreiarchy here, but I’m a dude and it’d be messed up if I started it.
There’s a couple of them, I think.
I found this one:
https://lemmy.ca/c/witchesvspatriarchy
Edit: Better link:
Thanks!
Mod of that community here! Please come join the coven, we’re always welcoming like-minded people!
instance friendly link for those on other instances :)
Thanks!
Honestly chuckled a bit after checking out the front page and pretty much all posts were about… men
But that (making fun of men) might just be the idea behind that subreddit and I’m looking at it wrong
EDIT: I dun goofed
Thanks! I was looking for witchesvsTHEpatriarchy for some reason.
Subbed.
Pardon my ignorance but what would be the point of that? You can sign up on any instance and participate in any women’s communities. It’s not like there’s any way to verify the user’s gender anyway.
A community like that would hopefully ban misogynists who go unbanned on other communities.
“Community” is the operative word there. OP is asking about an instance.
An instance can be a community in the general sense of the word.
Right but it has a very specific meaning here.
They (I think) meant that the instance would be a community, and the admins would ban misogynists.
I know what they meant but it’s an important distinction here.
Local feed I guess. I wouldn’t trade my french local feed to another despite the abillity to subscribe to the community that made it.
Local feed is one of the best parts of Lemmy conceptually and a very clear indicator that the intended behaviour for users is to sign up to smaller insurances related to their location or otherwise significant individual interests.
our local french feed 🤝
D’autant plus que je ne poste pas souvent dessus !
Couldn’t you sign up on another instance and still subscribe to all the same communities?
It would only work if I don’t subscribe to any other instances. That’s a bad tradeoff.
The fediverse needs a tool to surf other instances local feed cause that’s a common issue for both the threadiverse and twittoverse. Soon, we may have enough theme-oriented PixelFed instances for them to have the same issue. I believe PieFed multicommunity feeds to be the best way to tackle it so far but that’s not even a good solution.
with enough admin and moderation you could circle jerk your way into a “woman positive” or “woman friendly space” which would be the idea.
Community-wise there’s !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
unfortunately I think this is the current answer, at least on Lemmy.
unfortunately?
Meaning there isn’t an instance for women, nor are there multiple communities - as far as I know there’s just this one community.
I think there’s also We are women on lemmy.ml and Women on lemmy.world?
sorry, I should have clarified that I was talking about active communities (where users regularly visit and interact)
oh, I see.
hexbear is heavily transfem and bans aggressively for misogyny/transphobia. Spending some time there when their recent domain crisis defederated from the rest of Lemmy was actually quite relaxing
unless you have an external opinion, in which case they fucking lynch you.
that external opinion is usually either bigotry or supporting US empire from my experience. Other Lemmy spaces are just as likely to ban for wrongthink ie: not being pro genocide or whatever war libs are supporting this time.
i’ve never seen a pro genocide lemmy instance, everytime i’ve argued against it i’ve been banned or moderated on, granted my instance isn’t pro genocide, so there’s that. But that seems to be a regular occurrence on lemmy in my experience.
I posted one thing on the one hexbear thread people used and immediately got banned lmao, what a terrible instance. I just ended up blocking the whole thing because why even bother at that point.
You are right, but a lot of people want to avoid politics.
it’s called pinterest
Edit:
PS: Ok so it looks like people here are just as bad as redditors. I was answering the question in the Reddit caption of this post. Pinterest has been known to be an alternative to Reddit (as a link aggregator) which attracts women a lot more than men.
This is a KNOWN thing, check this 10 year old article from the people managing Pinterest stating as much
Of course women are welcome here, there is no question about it. Does it matter if there is an instance for women? I don’t even know, I know women who love stereotypical male stuff and vice versa. I assume anyone, male, female or anything in the spectrum, can browse around and collate their favorite subs
Not funny, not ok. Women are just as welcome here as anyone else and your comment is exactly why they are asking. “It’s a joke” - nope don’t even. Be better than this.
it wasn’t a joke
pinterest is an link aggregator just like reddit and geared towards women
of course women are welcomed here, no clue how you get otherwise from my comment
https://www.youthsense.com.au/youth-insights/men-are-from-reddit-women-are-from-pinterest/
Well…yes, it is a link aggregator, but have you ever used Pinterest? The uses for it vs reddit are wildly different…
Yes, I have. And the differences that you allude to are a huge part why women find it attractive, more so than men.
Pinterest itself have publicly stated this was not necessarily intentional and they wanted to bring more men to the platform.
I am more trying to argue that Pinterest and Reddit/lemmy are fundamentally different enough that they aren’t really interchangeable.
I personally use both, but, again, for wildly different purposes.
I agree, but at a higher level the analogy works… like a sports car vs a pickup truck vs a minivan. Very different but at the end of the day they are all vehicles and men tend to like one of those more than others, same as women (and no, I am not implying women like minivans… my wife forbade me from getting one when our kids were little and I had given up on a cool car for the convenience of one)
You’re the joke, got it, moving on.
Oh I see, you are just an idiot… go back to reddit please
Your comment can be read in multiple ways
“It’s called pinterest. Go there instead. This site is not for you.”
or
“It’s called pinterest. This thing you are interested in already kind of exists. Just thought I would let you know.”
The people downvoting had the first interpretation, I assume.
Honestly, I really cannot stop people from making up things I did not write and tagging them along in their heads.
I was answering the question in the picture of this post:
Do you know any Reddit alternatives aimed towards Women?
The way I worded it “it’s called Pinterest” came from me thinking this was a well known thing which apparently is not for many lemmy users.
Check this article which is 10 years old, where Pinterest representatives acknowledge this demographic divide and want to correct it
You need to calm down
You need to sit down and learn
Nah im ok
I don’t agree in this particular instance, but in general I think you’re right - all this shit is really getting to me. And I always appreciate a good call out. Going to touch some grass, hope everyone has a great day ✌️
