My wife and I have life plans that make HRT unrealistic in the near future. We’re mostly concerned with fertility and my wife is still coming to terms with my identity. She understands it - she’s just grappling with the possible future changes.
In the meantime, I’m starting to do what I can to transition without HRT. Shaving. Exercise and dieting. Growing my hair out. Facial routines and hair routines. Etc.
I found FaceApp (like many other trans folks) and I’ve become a little obsessive. I take at least one photo a day and I’ve experimented with using the generated photos in private accounts for a euphoria hit. But I’m feeling like it’s making me constantly obsess with transitioning. I’m perusing trans timelines, MTF fashion, etc. on my phone a lot more than usual. Before using the app, I didn’t really have “goals”. I just wanted to get as close to feminine as possible. Now, I see this other face and I want to be her. I feel trapped in this body.
Anyways, I guess I’m just venting here. It hurts to feel this way.
Yeah, we agree, as entities who used it in the past and are far into our bodily transition with HRT the body doesn’t look anything like it.
I’m not really worried about my body too much. I’m not super dysphoric about the shape (though I want my belly fat to go away). But I do really want the effeminate look in the face and hair. Are those apps still unrealistic? It’s hard to imagine I’ll never get to that goal point.
the problem with faceapp and similar apps/filters is they basically output “if you had the opposite AGAB, had a perfect skincare routine, wore makeup, and were also a model”, which isn’t a sane goal unless you’re planning to get electrolysis and FFS and spend two hours a day on skincare and usually wear makeup. the facial result of transition is usually more along the lines of “you, but softer” – which is still very nice and a marked difference, but almost nobody transitions into looking like faceapp says they will, because it sets unrealistic expectations.
It will obviously vary, but I’ve been on HRT for a little over a year and started it late-ish (in my early 30s). I personally can say my face has femminized a fair amount - obviously my bone structure hasn’t changed, but my eyes are slightly wider and softer, cheeks a bit fuller with fat sitting in a different place, skin GLOWS. There’s obviously features that I would love to see change more/at all, but I’m much happier looking at myself in the mirror and in photos 🩷 I’ve also been getting laser hair removal for my facial hair along with other parts of my body. My friends and people I see occasionally for errands often have incredibly kind things to say about the changes they’ve been seeing over the year.
I did try one of those apps a few times and things didn’t necessarily click for me since they kind of added makeup over my face. I personally want to be happy with my face without makeup, so I didn’t feel they were showing a version of myself I wanted to see.
Yes, we were including face in body, apologies. Hair can improve, however from our understanding it requires HRT for seven years to fully recover from the effects of T. Our face hasn’t changed much we think, sadly, unlike a lot of trans femmes but our hair being longer helps there.
https://c.tenor.com/F1dwCtxfiW8AAAAC/tenor.gif
Yes, we think we are an odd case as most trans femmes we have seen we think look more femme than us/the body. However, we haven’t exactly kept pictures over time as we both do not think to, and always found pictures of the body displeasing except for when we were really trying to look good. That is changing somewhat but most of the time we don’t like it, or just don’t recognise it.
that’s likely an effect of dysphoria, friend.
Hmm, maybe. However, we have noticed their face fat shifted and became more conventionally femme, whereas ours hasn’t from what we can tell.
Our boobs have also not gotten as big as most trans femmes who post their stuff online, sadly. Not sure if it is because we messed up and took progesterone too early or what, but they aren’t that big and aren’t a good shape ioo, not round emough, slightly triangular.
see, I felt this way too, but I’ve realized that, for me, the issue is dysphoria plus seeing the changes happen gradually, so I don’t see that big change like I have in other people.
the general guidance is that we transfems max about a cup size less than our mom and/or sisters, and it tends to get spread out differently – mine are also slightly triangular, which is a totally normal breast shape for women without large boobs, even cis women.
Yeah, you may be correct about the face, we don’t take pictures or look in the mirror often so might not have seen changes over time.
Ah, well, we aren’t sure what size our cis women biological relations are and it feels weird to ask especially because they are transphobic and right-wing, but yeah, maybe. Thanks for the info, this might help us.
Now onto how to fix the dysphoria of never being able to have gentials that do all we wish they would, nor the ability to get pregnant.