My wife and I have life plans that make HRT unrealistic in the near future. We’re mostly concerned with fertility and my wife is still coming to terms with my identity. She understands it - she’s just grappling with the possible future changes.
In the meantime, I’m starting to do what I can to transition without HRT. Shaving. Exercise and dieting. Growing my hair out. Facial routines and hair routines. Etc.
I found FaceApp (like many other trans folks) and I’ve become a little obsessive. I take at least one photo a day and I’ve experimented with using the generated photos in private accounts for a euphoria hit. But I’m feeling like it’s making me constantly obsess with transitioning. I’m perusing trans timelines, MTF fashion, etc. on my phone a lot more than usual. Before using the app, I didn’t really have “goals”. I just wanted to get as close to feminine as possible. Now, I see this other face and I want to be her. I feel trapped in this body.
Anyways, I guess I’m just venting here. It hurts to feel this way.
the problem with faceapp and similar apps/filters is they basically output “if you had the opposite AGAB, had a perfect skincare routine, wore makeup, and were also a model”, which isn’t a sane goal unless you’re planning to get electrolysis and FFS and spend two hours a day on skincare and usually wear makeup. the facial result of transition is usually more along the lines of “you, but softer” – which is still very nice and a marked difference, but almost nobody transitions into looking like faceapp says they will, because it sets unrealistic expectations.