My wife and I have life plans that make HRT unrealistic in the near future. We’re mostly concerned with fertility and my wife is still coming to terms with my identity. She understands it - she’s just grappling with the possible future changes.

In the meantime, I’m starting to do what I can to transition without HRT. Shaving. Exercise and dieting. Growing my hair out. Facial routines and hair routines. Etc.

I found FaceApp (like many other trans folks) and I’ve become a little obsessive. I take at least one photo a day and I’ve experimented with using the generated photos in private accounts for a euphoria hit. But I’m feeling like it’s making me constantly obsess with transitioning. I’m perusing trans timelines, MTF fashion, etc. on my phone a lot more than usual. Before using the app, I didn’t really have “goals”. I just wanted to get as close to feminine as possible. Now, I see this other face and I want to be her. I feel trapped in this body.

Anyways, I guess I’m just venting here. It hurts to feel this way.

    • Of the Air (cele/celes)
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      2 days ago

      Yes, we think we are an odd case as most trans femmes we have seen we think look more femme than us/the body. However, we haven’t exactly kept pictures over time as we both do not think to, and always found pictures of the body displeasing except for when we were really trying to look good. That is changing somewhat but most of the time we don’t like it, or just don’t recognise it.