My wife and I have life plans that make HRT unrealistic in the near future. We’re mostly concerned with fertility and my wife is still coming to terms with my identity. She understands it - she’s just grappling with the possible future changes.
In the meantime, I’m starting to do what I can to transition without HRT. Shaving. Exercise and dieting. Growing my hair out. Facial routines and hair routines. Etc.
I found FaceApp (like many other trans folks) and I’ve become a little obsessive. I take at least one photo a day and I’ve experimented with using the generated photos in private accounts for a euphoria hit. But I’m feeling like it’s making me constantly obsess with transitioning. I’m perusing trans timelines, MTF fashion, etc. on my phone a lot more than usual. Before using the app, I didn’t really have “goals”. I just wanted to get as close to feminine as possible. Now, I see this other face and I want to be her. I feel trapped in this body.
Anyways, I guess I’m just venting here. It hurts to feel this way.
It will obviously vary, but I’ve been on HRT for a little over a year and started it late-ish (in my early 30s). I personally can say my face has femminized a fair amount - obviously my bone structure hasn’t changed, but my eyes are slightly wider and softer, cheeks a bit fuller with fat sitting in a different place, skin GLOWS. There’s obviously features that I would love to see change more/at all, but I’m much happier looking at myself in the mirror and in photos 🩷 I’ve also been getting laser hair removal for my facial hair along with other parts of my body. My friends and people I see occasionally for errands often have incredibly kind things to say about the changes they’ve been seeing over the year.
I did try one of those apps a few times and things didn’t necessarily click for me since they kind of added makeup over my face. I personally want to be happy with my face without makeup, so I didn’t feel they were showing a version of myself I wanted to see.