Emily (she/her)

I am several hundred opossums in a trench coat

  • 148 Posts
  • 276 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • You’re mostly right. Newer devices won’t share their entire app list by default, at compile time you need to enumerate every app you want to query for, or add what are essentially a list of intent filters (which are like “I want to talk to apps that take this kind of message and payload”). There is still a permission that lets you list all apps like you were able to on pre API 30 devices, but Google makes it pretty difficult to get onto the app store in that state.

    You can still send intents as much as you like though (as long as you know the recipient), since they’re the basis for all inter-process communication.

    My point is more that an app developer can’t and doesn’t need to use the play store to get the list of apps you have on your phone. This requirement to have the play store almost certainly isn’t malicious and I disagree with the notion that apps shouldn’t be able to use what is essentially system infrastructure to improve their apps. That said, given this is an app targeting the fediverse, it would have been nice for the developer to have made a universal APK build that didn’t require the Play Store.




  • Social media is not a good replacement for real life community (look through my comment history and you’ll see me expressing exactly that repeatedly), but we can’t be oblivious to the fact that for many children their only connection to fellow queer people may be online. If you live in a small town or community where there are no other openly queer people, or if your school, peers, and parents are hostile to queer people you won’t have much choice in where you find community.




  • Ok rather than responding in kind with some snarky comment, I’m going to make a good faith effort explain what I mean.

    My statement that “beauty standards are based in white supremacy” is talking about what we, as a whole society, consider attractive. I am not talking about your personal taste, I am talking about the kinds of bodies, faces, and styles that are elevated in society and pointing our their basis in white supremacy.

    Firstly, we need to understand that beauty standards are not some platonic ideal of beauty, they are socially constructed and therefore informed by the society in which they exist. This also necessarily means that current standards are an evolution of historical standards, reciprocally changing as people both influence the standards and are influenced by them.

    That means that if we want to understand today’s beauty standards, we also need to consider them in a historical context. I hope it is not a controversial point to say that most white countries (i.e. Australia where I live, and the US where much of the discussion often centres) were historically white supremacist nations (if not presently, but that is a different can of worms). These countries openly stated this position (i.e. “White Australia” being official policy) and legally elevated whites, so this isn’t really up for discussion. I would hope it is therefore not difficult to imagine that such a society would also base its definitions of beauty around white features: white skin, white facial features, blonde hair, etc. For a concrete, if cliche, example of this in action we have to look no further than the historical masculinization of African-American people and their bodies. Pernicious stereotypes applied to black women like “Jezebel”, “Sapphire”, and more modern incarnations like “Angry Black Woman” are prime examples of this, where they are given qualities or cast into roles considered, in a societal context, incompatible with femininity or even outright masculine.

    Therefore, to evaluate my claim that beauty standards are “based in white supremacy”, we need to determine whether our standards have substantially deviated from that history. I would argue it has not, that our beauty standards are clearly descendant. To look at the modelling industry as a prominent signifier, even with notional improvements in the diversity of skin colour of models, the continued elevation of eurocentric features remains (see 1, 2, 3). That is not to say there isn’t work, particularly from passionate activists, to move on from this history - but we are not there yet.

    Finally, in regards to this entire thread, I want to point out that, due to the global hegemonic nature of whiteness - historically and presently - to some uneducated eyes the premise of my argument here - that beauty standards are not objective but subjective and socially constructed - may be dismissed out of hand. A naive observation that other prominent non-white cultures sometimes attempt to recreate the aesthetics of white beauty standards (i.e. skin lightening products in south-east asia) could appear to suggest that they may be formed from an objective standpoint. This is patently and obviously untrue. For one, other cultures and periods of time had extremely varied beauty standards to those we have today, and it is a blatant case of presentism and ignorance to assume that our particular version of these standards are “correct”. But mainly, to suggest that other countries adopt white beauty standard because they are objective would mean to reject that, unlike so many other aspects of society, beauty standards alone are not impacted by the global history of colonialism and the dominance of white countries globally.



  • That’s fraud. The 5 minute business discussion can be written off, the remaining (let’s say) 55 minutes cannot. Maybe it differs where you live, but where I do only travel between work destinations can be written off, so home to work doesn’t count. Buying supplies for the office is a normal and valid expense, taking them home is theft and/or taxable


  • I briefly worked for a company who worked on household power technology. Their product would attempt to predict energy prices, weather patterns, and usage to sell your excess energy at peak prices. Like discussed in the article, this company collected usage data and controlled the sale of energy back to the grid centrally. They did this because it meant they could better train their prediction models and run them on more powerful hardware. The controllers would have needed internet connectivity anyway to query energy prices, and putting the prediction on device would have just made them more expensive and worse. Even when I worked there (back in 2015 I think), they were already very aware of the threat vectors discussed by this article and took some measures to prevent it.

    In my opinion they were (/are, still exist) a responsible company run by competent people. They did not collect the data out of “greed”, and I strongly suspect that the people in these comments implying that the data is collected to be sold have never actually worked in the industry and have very little idea of the specific value of energy usage data. I can’t really speak authoritatively for other companies, but I would guess that, like the one I worked for, their products are internet connected simply because it improves the product. For example, people expect things to be controllable or viewable from an app from anywhere, and that requires internet connectivity.



  • I started transitioning a little over 3 years ago (I think? I might be 4 at this point), but only came out to my family a year ago (on Christmas to be exact). Gender dysphoria is like a weight, and for me, like you, it became all the more suffocating once I realised it was there. I had also been an ✨ally✨ to the community long enough that I knew how large and difficult of a life change transitioning would be, and I was worried I wouldn’t even have the courage to transition or come out. That is to say, I get how you’re feeling right now. I want to affirm that, no matter how far you go in your transition, no matter how it turns out, it gets better.

    I’ll talk about my personal experience first. After I realised I was trans, I came out to a close trans friend. We both started medically transitioning around that time, and soon after came out to the rest of my close friends as well. I was lucky in that these friends were already very queer and trans, so they were supportive. I definitely lost some friends outside that group though. Last Christmas, I came out to my parents in an … inelegant… way. I was panicking, they already knew anyway (I was bad at hiding it), but it turned out okay. It took some adjustment, but they’re accepting and I can’t take that for granted. My crazy uncle disapproves, which I couldn’t care less about. Just recently I finally went through the process of changing my name and gender legally, which was a headache but was still nice.

    As for my advice, the first thing I’ll say is that I cannot stress enough how much having a real ally or, even better, someone in the community to support you through your transition will help your mental health. You’re probably going to quickly start experiencing creepy (because you’re femme) and abusive men (because you’re trans), however rarely. Someone who intimately understands what you’re going through will help you work through that. For finding and forming community, I would be surprised if your university didn’t have a trans group or something. Like, you’re doing computer science, you’ll already have tonnes in common with the women there.

    The rest, is largely up to you. Experiment with your gender in “safe” ways if you aren’t completely sure in your identity yet. That could involve dressing in women’s clothes (keep in mind a lot might fit a bit weird right now), or by asking friends to experiment with different names and pronouns. I also found reading a great way to learn things about myself, some books I would recommend are Nevada by Imogen Binnie and A Safe Girl to Love by Casey Plett. They let you explore a variety of trans experiences and choices without having gone through them yourself. I also highly recommend watching The People’s Joker too, but that’s just because it’s a really good and funny trans movie.

    If you don’t want to medically transition, that’s totally fine (and anyone who says otherwise in this community will be banned). Otherwise, I cannot recommend at least HRT enough, especially if a significant source of your dysphoria is your body. It can do magic, particularly if you’re young. I would suggest taking a look at this article on TransHub (which is a generally trusted source on trans stuff) for information about what to expect. It can help manage your dysphoria if you’re not yet ready to come out socially, as I wasn’t. Even after you’ve started HRT, you should be able to hide most of the visual changes effectively for at least a year or two. It is a great way to do something about your transition while you’re building up your confidence to come out.

    When it comes to coming out, i.e social transition, remember that no one is “owed” you coming out. When you are ready to come out, make sure you can do so safely. If you rely on your family for shelter or financial support, ensure you have contingency plans for housing or financial stability in case things go poorly (like find a friend who would be willing to host you for a while). Similar situation for work, while I’m pretty sure in the US it’s technically illegal to discriminate against someone for being trans, that doesn’t mean they won’t. Try and gather the temperature of the room before making any decisions, and have a resume and linkedin profile ready in case things go poorly. Be prepared emotionally for the possibility that you may lose friends or family you care about. Remember above all that you deserve respect, and that you deserve to live authentically. If someone rejects you, or “accepts” you but undermine your identity, don’t adjust your presentation and identity just for their comfort.

    That ends my advice for the medical and social stuff, so let me just give you some practical advice:

    • Find a trans specializing doctor, the trans health project maintains a list for the US. WPATH also maintains a directory.
    • Invest in and get good at shaving. I would highly recommend learning to shave with a safety razor, with the caveat that you should avoid them if you think having the razors around could enable self harm. Nothing else will get as close a shave, and safety razors are dirt cheap ($30 - $80 for the handle, $20 - $30 for a 100 pack of blades). Having a good quality electric razor around is also very useful for a quick touch up, especially if you keep a lipstick style one in your car or bag.
    • The page transfemme.style has some good advice on fashion
    • Buy a sports bra if you start medically transitioning. You’ll need to start wearing it before you think, and they’ll fit most bodies pretty well. Get one with padding so you get some bigger boobs.
    • At some point, graduate to a real bra. Get professionally fitted! I gained more cup sizes in that fitting than in three years of transitioning lol.
    • If you feel dysphoric about shoulders in women’s clothing, try tank tops. I fucking love tank tops.
    • More generally for tops, a round or scoop neck piece of clothing will be most flattering. I don’t like boat necks. Get something that fits properly, don’t go too tight, even if it makes your boobs look great.




  • I live in Australia, so YMMV, but for me, the things I needed to update were:

    • Government/their services and programs, local and federal
    • Medical things (insurance, doctors, etc)
    • Banks/Financial Institutions (I don’t know how a 401k works, but that probably is included)
    • Insurance
    • Car registration
    • Identity documents
    • Wills, if you have one
    • Company registrations, if you have one

    Beyond that legal obligation, there is no one you have to tell if you don’t feel comfortable. I took the opportunity of legally changing my name to finally come out in the rest of my life (work and uni), but you don’t have to.