its been 5 years.
fuck.
I’ve wanted to transition for a 4th of my life now and I still don’t have enough control over my life to be me.
i would probably hate myself so much less if i had started hrt and transitioning when i wanted to.
rant over ill probably delete this post i just needed to vent im sorry
Oh puppycat, I’m so sorry that you’re still going through this. I don’t know if you remember me from chatting on Matrix, but please feel free to reach out in DMs here or Matrix if you wanna talk again. You deserve to be able to transition, and I know that your partner has been preventing that. I want to help however I’m able too.
Just wanted to disentangle starting HRT from actually socially transitioning: the one doesn’t necessarily imply the other. Some people take HRT for years before transitioning; in many cases the results are not obvious for a long time, if at all, or can be disguised. DiY is safe and relatively inexpensive.
It’s never too late. You’re very young. Your happiness is worth it. And if you’re waiting for your life to be perfect to transition, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Dysphoria causes distress, and it makes it that much harder to succeed in other areas of your life.
When I was seeking bottom surgery I was gatekept a lot for not having great mental health. Needless to say, bottom dysphoria was a significant contributing factor to my poor mental health. I am healthier than I have ever been post op.
What I’m really trying to say by that is that you deserve to feel joy about your body and your gender presentation. You shouldn’t hold yourself back. Forcing yourself to exist in a body and presentation that causes you distress has a huge impact on your well-being.
Dysphoria causes distress, and it makes it that much harder to succeed in other areas of your life.
It’s hard to overstate this, before I transitioned I thought transitioning was selfish and mostly a way for me to finally wear women’s clothes outside my house, etc. - I focused on the social and personal benefits, which were small compared to the risks.
But the reality is that testosterone was destroying my mind and made me a completely miserable, dysfunctional person. I didn’t transition because I finally could prioritize what I thought was a trivial desire to be a woman, but because I learned it could be the cause of a lot of my mental health problems. I realize now that testosterone was wrecking my life and I was hurting the people I love.
Now I realize transition is more medically necessary than I could have understood (or more importantly, been willing to believe). I still, even now, have a hard time believing this, and I regularly doubt my experience.
I’m 32 years old and at about a 5 on the Norwood scale and I started taking minoxidil and finasteride, and reaching out to Planned Parenthood to talk about getting on E, all because I saw pictures of people who were older and balder than me when they started transitioning and they’re beautiful.
There is still time.
How do you fix bald(ing)? Wigs suck.
Minoxidil and finasteride if you still have testosterone
I don’t have T anymore so the hair loss has stopped, but what’s gone ain’t coming back. I tried Minoxidil and the results weren’t worth the hassle.
I’m already too far gone for a scalp advancement, and hair transplant is beyond my means. Plus the outcomes seem to vary depending on how good a surgeon you can afford, putting it further out of reach.
Thanks nonetheless. Just felt like venting. Hair sucks, both in its paucity and in its excess.
I started in my late twenties and I talk to people who started way later. We are all happier for it. If you want to transition, go for it! Like lady autumn says, it relieves some dysphoria for lots of people, it might make things easier
The best time to start hrt is 5 years ago, the second best time to start is today
I can relate to the frustration of not being able to be you yet - but when you finally are able to, it’ll all be okay
I am 39 years old and my egg just cracked. I can’t imagine how it must feel being stuck but there is lots of time left for you to get where you are going. Keep going strong, it gets better I swear.
What’s stopping you, and what can you do about it?
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Maybe you need to start thinking about if your partner is good for you. Are they controlling literally every aspect of your life?
It sounds to me like you are on the verge of having a lot more freedom in your life - if you are college-aged, you are likely the age of the majority and at least should have the legal rights to make your own medical decisions. (I know it’s often not that simple, if you are economically dependent still, etc.)
If you do end up in college, try to access the mental health resources they have - people often don’t realize that students have access to free therapy on campus, this is a great time to start building your autonomy and independence and therapy can be a useful tool to that end.
I’ve wanted to transition for a 4th of my life
Fuck. Same.
I still don’t have enough control over my life to be me.
But also same.
