• @Pregnenolone@lemmy.world
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    2306 months ago

    Guys who refuse to wash their arse because it’s “gay”.

    The sheer amount of self-hatred, insecurity and homophobia caused by toxic masculinity and shitty upbringings is astounding that you’d rather have swamp ass than be worried you’re gay.

    • iAmTheTot
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      166 months ago

      Have you actually seen this? Like, do you have a first hand account?

      • BruceTwarzen
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        966 months ago

        I did. I was talking to some guys and somehow my bidet came up and everyone found it pretty amusing and “gay”. I said something like: well imagine you accidentally touch dogshit or something and then wipe it off with a piece of paper and go: well that’s good enough until my next shower.
        One guy said: what do you mean, next shower? And i said, that’s your next opportunity to clean your ass with water and soap. Where everyone seems to agree that was also for gays.
        It’s extra funny to me that in a previous conversation one of the guys said his girlfriend hates giving head. I wonder why mr. Poopy butthole.

      • @Pregnenolone@lemmy.world
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        526 months ago

        If you search for “boyfriend refuses to wash ass reddit” on Google there are plenty of stories for you to eat your dinner over.

          • @Pregnenolone@lemmy.world
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            6 months ago

            lol actually just look. Literally tens-hundreds of stories. It’s not a global conspiracy or group false memory. I get the Reddit hate but that’s just silly.

            Edit: some of you struggle. Y’all understand that I can lie about a personal experience much more easily than I could lie about the combined hundreds of experiences of mutually individual people on the internet. How is it that until I’ve personally experienced it it must be false? Real cream of the crop with you lot.

            • Kalash
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              6 months ago

              “I question this comment, do you have any actual expirence”?

              You: “sure, just look at all these other comments over there”.

              This is indeed very silly, but not because of reddit being involved.

              • @Pregnenolone@lemmy.world
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                6 months ago

                I sincerely apologize for providing evidence of my claim that some men don’t wash their ass. I’ll remember for next time that I specifically have to know men that don’t wash their ass for my claim to have any validity, or else theKalash will not believe me.

                • Kalash
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                  66 months ago

                  providing evidence

                  Uff …

                  This really speaks volumns about what social media has done to the mind of some people.

                  You really don’t see the problem when being asked for “acutal exprience” and someone unironically points to a comment on the internet? That’s literally the opposite of actual exprience.

            • @Illuminostro@lemmy.world
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              36 months ago

              You know, I hate to be the one to have to tell you this, but a lot of people lie on the internet for attention. Weird, I know now.

        • iAmTheTot
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          146 months ago

          If I wanted to read reddit, I wouldn’t be on kbin. And I was asking if they, specifically, had a first hand account.

      • @Pregnenolone@lemmy.world
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        376 months ago

        It’s usually partners complaining that they stink because they don’t wash themselves properly.

        Some guys openly just admit it because they just don’t realise that it’s not normal. So fearful that they won’t put their hand anywhere near their own ass.

    • @BlueAlienSmut@lemmy.world
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      66 months ago

      An ex of mine refused to wipe and would shower after every poop, claiming tp was ineffective, BUT WOULD ALSO refuse to purchase a bidet; the toxic masculinity here was thinking he was outsmarting us all while also contaminating every shower he had ever used

      • @Socsa@sh.itjust.works
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        56 months ago

        Washing your ass isn’t contaminating the shower, that’s almost as bizarre as thinking using tp makes you gay.

      • @Maalus@lemmy.world
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        46 months ago

        Washing your ass under the shower doesn’t “contaminate” it. Sure, use toilet paper first, then go wash yourself. But you would be surprised how much shit (literally) is in the air. It’s everywhere, even on your toothbrush.

  • @Akuchimoya@startrek.website
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    1806 months ago

    Refusing to use nail polish remover to clean off permanent marker because that’s “for women”. It’s acetone, my dude, acetone.

  • @DerisionConsulting@lemmy.ca
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    1716 months ago

    Tell his wife that he loved her, because love is “gay” and “feminine”

    Firstly, audibly expressing your heterosexuality isn’t gay.
    Secondly, there is nothing feminine about 2 guys loving each other, they are both guys so it’s the most masculine sexual/romantic pairing.

  • @confusedpuppy@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    1436 months ago

    I’ve been to Gay pride parades, gay bars and gay clubs. The gayest experience I’ve had in my life was working in the trades with straight men doing everything they can to prove their masculinity at all costs.

    These men will use women as mere possessive objects in order to prove to their masculinity towards other men. By oversexualizing all women while at the same time belittling all that their partner does. As if women were merely currency for respect among men.

    They hated gays and trans people so much that they would spend an extremely uncomfortable amount of time telling you how much they were “disgusted” by these people.

    They hated on any man who who did not possess physical masculine traits. Those traits that they hated? Not being muscular. Not being tall. Not being fat (what???). Having longer hair.

    But the gayest thing these guys refused to do was stand up for themselves against unjust authority. They would spend the most all their free time explicitly telling you how much they hate their boss. How stupid their boss is. How much of an asshole their boss is. How they would kick their bosses ass. Just talk an absolute big game.

    Then the boss would come around the corner and you’d never see a bunch of grown ass men tuck their dicks between their legs faster than these guys. Their voices raise up a couple pitches and suddenly they are acting as subservient as how they believe their wives should be.

    It’s in this unspoken idea of respect for Men in Authority that you see the “gayest” trait in these toxic men. But not in a good gay way. A toxic gay trait that comes from a deep place built on oppression and repression of ones self. Where respect from your fellow man at all costs is the most valuable thing they crave. Where respect from your boss holds even higher value. Where respect from men in higher positions is held at even higher value.

    All they care about is to be noticed by other men. That’s kinda gay dude.

    The cost of all this effort to gain respect from exclusively other men is their dignity. And they are more than willing to give up their dignity to be noticed by men in positions of authority.

    To these guys, questioning or standing up to authority is gay. Standing up for yourself is gay. Demanding to be treated with dignity is gay. They will be the first ones to kick you down for disrespecting authority.

    I’ve walked into a club bathroom and saw two guys giving another guy a blowjob. That’s still not as gay as watching “straight” acting men grovel at the feet of boss in any trades.

    Ick…

    • Hyperreality
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      Ugh. Very relateable.

      To give you an idea, I’m 2m/6ft6, do weight lifting and I’m not particularly worried about the size of my dick. I may be insecure about many things, but not about my manliness.

      Anyway, these kind of insecure men always try to out macho me. It’s so fucking tiring. I’m basically straight (never say never), but I like stuff these kinds of men often find gay, because I’m not an anti-intellectual moron who has the maturity of a 12 year old boy or cares too much about what other people think. It’s like they want to whip out their dicks and measure each other all the time. What kind of manchild cares so much about what other people think, that they can’t listen to classical music, dress nicely, or read a book? As you say, these men are too weak to have opinions of their own or stand-up to authority.

      They’re so deeply insecure, it’s fucking sad. Pathetic even. Not that I feel much sympathy for them, especially the older ones who’ve had time to mature, because they inevitably cause you grief. They’re at best annoying, but can be outright dangerous. The whole machismo, kiss the boot, contempt for the weak thing is a toxic cocktail. No surprise who they vote for either, always love to suck the dick of a strong leader who tells them they’re better than someone else.

      You know those Harvard implicit association tests? They have one for racism, but they also have one for homophobia. Certainly not without their flaws, but I took one. Turns out I have a bias against straight people. No mystery how that happened, given so many men are toxic.

    • @Azal@pawb.social
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      86 months ago

      Holy shit yes, this whole thing right here.

      The trade fields are absolutely insanely full of men telling each other how manly they are and how not gay they are with the “notice me” mode that it’s kinda ‘dude… if you want guys to hit on you… you’re going about it all wrong.’

    • @Zozano@aussie.zone
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      16 months ago

      Kudos for being able to say what you did, while using gay as a “derogatory” word, and not fucking it up in a way that would lead an uncharitable interpretation of what you said.

      That being said, I absolutely agree with you, and the most homophobic shit I’ve ever heard came from guys who were so insecure about their sexuality, in a way that signalled to virtually everyone who was secure, that there was something about themselves they didn’t want to accept.

    • amio
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      16 months ago

      Sounds like a great bunch(!)

      Not sure how it relates to “gayness” though.

  • @grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world
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    1336 months ago

    Had an absolute asshole of a Lieutenant over my platoon while deployed to Iraq. We get there and they’re issuing out bed linens. We’re all thrilled because we’re getting actual beds and not cots. This motherfucker refuses the linens because “they have flowers on them”, then proceeds to demand a cot for himself. He slept in the cot in his sleeping bag instead.

    He was also Mormon, attempted to proselytize every second he got, and proudly declared his virginity (he was in his late 20s at the time) when NO ONE ASKED to hear about that shit.

    • @EinfachUnersetzlich@lemm.ee
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      196 months ago

      Wait, what do you mean by a cot? In my British English a cot is what babies sleep in and has tall bars on the sides to stop them falling out. I’m guessing this isn’t the same.

      • @grasshopper_mouse@lemmy.world
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        236 months ago

        My bad, I didn’t realize it was called by another name elsewhere. It looks just like this [USGI Military Folding Cot https://a.co/d/c0K3vCF](USGI Military Folding Cot https://a.co/d/c0K3vCF)

        What do they call those where you’re from?

        To be fair, that LT would feel right at home in what you’re describing (we call that a “crib” in the US), he was such an ignorant ass.

        • JackGreenEarth
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          166 months ago

          In the UK a crib is a smaller cot for newborns. And what you call a cot looks like a stretcher with trampoline legs, I haven’t ever seen one of these to hear what Brits call them.

  • @RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    I just had a concrete floor cut for plumbing, and neither of the guys wore a mask or respirator which is insanely unhealthy. I have a feeling it was “not manly”.

    Which makes that quite literal Toxic Masculinity.

    • @groupofcrows@lemmy.ca
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      506 months ago

      I worked one summer at the same factory as my dad. One day I was operating a cutting machine and my dad came by because I wasn’t wearing any safety equipment. He suggested (not told) to wear the gear but I refused because no one else uses it. He said thats fine, it’s my choice but he suggested I walk around the factory floor and count how many workers had all their fingers. I put on the safety equipment. Later on while having lunch with the two other guys in our area I noticed both were missing fingers.

      • @corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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        306 months ago

        I worked for less than a week at a cedar shake and shingles mill: it takes trees and cuts them into fat shingles.

        I was promoted when the guy above me put the pneumatic splitter through his hand.

        The guy above my new position near-missed with a band saw: it bit into his arm but only about a millimeter.

        On day three a cut saw operator lost the last joint of three fingers.

        I told the foreman I was leaving. He nodded in understanding.

      • @Coasting0942@reddthat.com
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        26 months ago

        He suggested (not told) to wear the gear

        At what point would a smack to the head be warranted to prevent harm?

        You dad did the right thing, but dang. I suggest you don’t make dance tik toks next to this active tree size buzz saw.

    • Corroded
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      6 months ago

      People I used to work with refused to wear gloves and eye protection when handling fuel because “that’s gay”.

      They all have alligator hands now.

      • @NaoPb@eviltoast.org
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        76 months ago

        I did not know fuel is bad for your hands. Though I only really might touch it while filling ny car up.

        • Corroded
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          146 months ago

          I don’t imagine you have to worry about it. It’s more of am issue for them because it was frequent excessive lengthy exposures. It wasn’t helped by the fact that they didn’t wash their hands a lot.

        • QuinceDaPence
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          Occasional exposure isn’t going to do much. Some people even use kerosene (diesel) can be used to wash some things off your hands. But you want to avoid it when possible.

          Another reason I hate the EPA “safety” gas can nozzles. Because I’ve never felt more safe than when I’m covered in gasoline.

          • @skyspydude1@lemmy.world
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            66 months ago

            Generally, I’m all for things that limit emissions and improve safety. I always thought they were a PITA, but couldn’t really be that much worse than the ones I see people use at the track usually.

            I finally picked one up because it was all they had at the store, and holy shit those “safety tanks” are a nightmare by comparison. They spill so much fuel and after only a couple of years the seals on mine have gone bad and leak even more. I still would like to add a flame arrestor into the necks, but it amazes me at how awful they are.

            I wholly understand why they exist and what all the safety features are for (preventing fuel from spilling if they’re tipped/dropped, releasing fuel vapors, etc) but they seem utterly useless when I inevitably spill at least half a cup of fuel per 5 gal, just due to how poorly they’re made.

        • @xkforce@lemmy.world
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          56 months ago

          Fuels are mostly hydrocarbons and those are hydrophobic and lipophilic. i.e they dissolve greasy/fatty things and your skin contains oils (which the fuel dissolves and thus strips out) and your cells are basically bags of water where the bag part (cell membrane) is made up of phospholipids (basically a type of fat) so that gets degraded too. None of that is good for your skin.

        • Corroded
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          26 months ago

          It’s just a way of referring to their dry cracking skin that almost looks like scales

    • @CmdrShepard42@lemm.ee
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      16 months ago

      These are typically the big right wingers who later in life live in a constant state of rage because they’re crippled or disabled and blame the government or immigrants for the fact that they live on a $1200/mo disability check, can’t work, and have nothing to their name. At least that’s my personal experience.

  • @SchrodingersPat@lemmy.ml
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    1256 months ago

    Besides physical violence, the most absurd thing I’ve seen was a man who bought a car after his wife pleaded not to because it would bankrupt them. He didn’t like that she was “telling him what to do.” They had two perfectly fine vehicles btw.

    • Transporter Room 3
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      356 months ago

      Weird, I know a couple who did exactly this about 13 months ago. They’re divorced now. Unfortunately they spawned a child who will now have to deal with two parents who hate each other and can’t stop fighting in front of them at every meeting.

      All from some kind of weird macho trip fuelled by insecurity.

  • @Krudler@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    When I was 18 and my buddy was 17, we went to the beach. He wouldn’t let me put sunscreen on his back because that would make him gay. What if a woman saw?

    He ended up with a severly blistered back, horrible, serious burns.

    Me, I went up to the cute girls and just said excuse me hehehe… I can’t reach my own back.

    He was also too chickenshit to do that.

  • @indomara@lemmy.world
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    1146 months ago

    The worst I have heard was when my husband’s old boss was proudly bragging about how he didn’t even leave work to be with his wife while she was giving birth to their first child.

    He honestly believed that was something to be proud of.

    We live in Australia too, so it’s not like he had American orphan crushing machine to blame. He was just a horrible piece of shit.

  • @CADmonkey@lemmy.world
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    1076 months ago

    The most obvious one I have experience with is guys refusing to wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle because they’re so tuff and manly and they “just won’t crash”.

    I wear a helmet because it will protect my beautiful face if I fall off, and because it keeps bugs and birds from hitting the aforementioned rugged bearded handsomeness at high speeds thus preventing some accidents, and because I can have one with a cool design on it.

    • Victor
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      336 months ago

      This is my 4-year old’s logic.

      Me: Come down from there! You need a helmet if you want to climb that high on the snow pile/rock/whatever!

      Him: But I am not falling! Look!

      Me: 🤦‍♂️ No, not yet, but you might!

      Him: But I’m not!

      🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤌🤌

    • Call me Lenny/Leni
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      186 months ago

      Not just motorcycles in my case but literally any child or adult I’ve ever seen ride a bike or use a skateboard in my entire life while strolling through town. Not a single civilian wears a helmet these days. I see preteens rolling and doing tricks on their skateboards like they’re living out some early 2000’s Tony Hawk game for the Playstation. A few people even hook their strollers up to their bikes and wear nothing.

      One time cops had to be called in because some vengeful people who probably would’ve otherwise been shooters were using the opportunity to trip riders as they rode. Did it change anything? Nope, they still wore nothing and still made themselves vulnerable to the same thing if anyone would ever want to do it again. Cops never enforced what is actually a helmet/pad mandate and I guess it’s not a CPS concern either, which stands out given their history.

      Only a couple of friends of mine serve as an exception to the observation. One day some peers asked “why are you wearing a helmet and pads, you know, like little girls” and I’ll never forget how they responded with “why are you wearing nothing, you know, like poor people?”

        • @kameecoding@lemmy.world
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          66 months ago

          I disagree I would say most kids/teen’s refusing to wear helmets for cycling and skating are doing it because they think it’s uncool, why is it uncool? Because it makes you look less tough afraid of falling, definitely toxic masculinity.

          Head injuries, accidental bad falls can ruin your life.

            • @kameecoding@lemmy.world
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              6 months ago

              I’d call it toxic masculinity if it was primarily a male problem.

              Toxic masculinity is not a solely male problem, it’s a set of behaviors that’s harmful or potentially harmful to either the person itself or people around them that is perceived as normal masculine behavior.

              It’s similar to toxic masculinity, but I’d rather call it hivemindlessness lol

              Those are the same things, Toxic masculinity is literally the product of the hivemind, the idea that you are a wuss if you protect your brain and wear a helmet isn’t something that you are born with.

        • @AchtungDrempels@lemmy.world
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          56 months ago

          It’s not just stupidity, some people might just make different risk calculations than you. BMX and MTB is way different than visiting a shop.

          • @AchtungDrempels@lemmy.world
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            56 months ago

            I wasn’t trying to define grades of douchebagness, but to tell you that your friends come off just as bad as their counterparts in your little anecdote. Since you seem to think your friends had a cool rebuttal, i suspect you’re a douche too.

            • Call me Lenny/Leni
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              16 months ago

              I never implied that, I just didn’t know what you meant by a “proper” douchebag. Excuse me for having non-native-English skills.

    • @RaoulDook@lemmy.world
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      126 months ago

      Yep that’s the dumbest thing. I’ve gone through clouds of bugs that hurt my chest when I wasn’t wearing my armored jacket, and I knew they would have felt worse on my face by far, but I never felt them since I never ride without the helmet.

      Even disregarding the obvious safety need, wearing a helmet improves the rider’s comfort by blocking bugs and debris. Maybe they think it’s manly to have bugs in your teeth and nostrils?

      • TechyDad
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        36 months ago

        I’ve never ridden a motorcycle, but I have had a bug (and part of its web) go into my mouth and down my throat while biking. Just thinking about it makes me want to gag. If, after that, you offered me a bike helmet with a front visor, I’d have put that thing on ASAP.

        Now take that bug incident and make it happen at 30-50 mph? No way would I have my face hole exposed for bugs to invade! (And that’s totally apart from the safety issue.)

    • @Azal@pawb.social
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      86 months ago

      and because it keeps bugs and birds from hitting the aforementioned rugged bearded handsomeness at high speeds

      I wear a full face helmet because holy shit I know one saved my face. But even if the helmet wasn’t a separator from potential meat crayon situation, I’d still wear it for this reason right here. Seriously, I’ve had some beetles hit my helmet so hard it made me recoil, I can’t imagine taking one straight to face like that.

      • kase
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        76 months ago

        meat crayon situation

        Yikes, that painted a horrible mental picture. Stay safe out there y’all :/

      • @ccunix@lemmy.world
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        66 months ago

        I’ve had beetles on the forehead while road cycling. Even at 40km/h that seriously hurts. Wouldn’t want it to happen at 100!

      • @CADmonkey@lemmy.world
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        46 months ago

        I tell anyone who asks that motorcycle helmets can prevent accidents. Your high delta-V beetle is the perfect example of why.

    • @UnPassive@lemmy.world
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      56 months ago

      I can’t see without a helmet when the wind picks up! Wife and I have bluetooth comms that make riding way more fun

  • PorkRollOP
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    936 months ago

    For me it’s between refusing to use an umbrella because “it’s gay” or refusing to sit in the middle seat of a work truck because of the same reason as the first.

      • Hyperreality
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        266 months ago

        You joke, but going back to the ancient greeks that traditionally wasn’t seen as ‘gay’ or feminine, no. A top is dominant, therefore more masculine. A bottom is submissive, therefore feminine.

        Still a thing to this day.

        I’ll be honest, I’m glad I’m older, and less worried about that kind of shit and can just be me.

        • @bouh@lemmy.world
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          146 months ago

          I think the roman had it a bit different : the minion or whore would be active while the guy was laying down. They even had suspended ropes or poles so the sex slave could use it to properly do its job.

          I don’t remember what was bad for them, except for big penis being very shameful because too beasty.

          I find roman and Greek very funny, because although they were extremely misogynistic, they had it all reversed compared to us. :D

        • Dharma Curious
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          206 months ago

          I did very well when I visited Mexico for this reason. The amount of dudes just totally cool with topping was excessive. Guys who are, by their own cultural standards, completely straight hanging out of grindr. It was a glorious week.

    • @Pregnenolone@lemmy.world
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      246 months ago

      I’m alright with not holding an umbrella but I’d want a raincoat or something to keep me dry still.

      But “fellas, is it gay to be dry?”

      • PorkRollOP
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        26 months ago

        I feel you. I find them more of a hassle than anything. I could go on for a bit on why they’re annoying and you’re better off using another method to stay dry. None of them are “don’t use an umbrella because that’s gay” though as I’m not an emotionally immature middle school boy that doesn’t get enough attention at home.

        • ginerel
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          6 months ago

          To each their own. My jacket does not have a hood good enough to protect me, it sometimes falls off my head, doesn’t protect my nose etc. So I prefer an umbrella.

          spoiler

          On a side note, I can also hang out with another person under it. But that would make me pretty gay, of course.

    • @CmdrShepard42@lemm.ee
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      26 months ago

      Sitting in the middle seat of a work truck can get a little gay if you’re driving a manual and need to shift into 2nd or 4th. Joking aside, I would probably use any excuse not to sit there because it’s incredibly uncomfortable to straddle the transmission hump.

  • Otherbarry
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    876 months ago

    Once worked with a guy who refused to wash dishes, said that is a woman’s responsibility. He only uses paper plates and plastic utensils.

    I never asked him if he cooked but kind of figure it’d the be same answer LOL.

      • @endlessbeard@lemmy.ml
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        1286 months ago

        Folks, we are witnessing toxic masculinity live in this thread, look at the way this toxic male masterfully injects his internalized misogyny into a comment that sounds reasonable at first but quickly devolves into more gender stereotypes, portrayals of woman as unreasonable, impractical, and irrational. Look at how he tacitly emasculates any man who likes to cook for the joy of cooking or clean things beyond a bare minimum. What a rare opportunity to witness the toxic male engaging in such iconic behavior, while unaware of it’s surroundings.

      • Anne
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        606 months ago

        The most absurd thing I’ve seen a man refuse to do because of toxic masculinity is just scroll past an innocuous comment without replying a bunch of misogynistic bullshit.

      • Echo Dot
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        You really should have stopped after the first paragraph it just devolved from there on.

        • @rekabis@lemmy.ca
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          66 months ago

          You really should have stopped after the first paragraph it just devolved from there on.

          Ah, yes. Because real-world experience is just so passé.

          Sorry for intruding into your ideology with facts and reality.

          • Echo Dot
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            Oh god that’s funny. What’s my ideology then? I wasn’t aware that basic human observation was ideology now.

            I think the problem you have is the people you hang out with are awful if that’s your world view based on observed reality.

            Perhaps you should join a support group or something.

          • @samus12345@lemmy.world
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            6 months ago

            We men are here to be practical.

            So as the non-toxic arbiter of facts and reality, what exactly are women here for?

            • @rekabis@lemmy.ca
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              6 months ago

              what exactly are women here for?

              Why TF would I have any say in that? I’m a man, not a woman. I just observe how they behave and act, and take note of common trends and broad patterns.

              • @samus12345@lemmy.world
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                6 months ago

                Since you’re specifying that men are here to be practical, you’re saying that woman are not practical:

                What we need to watch out for is to align our efforts to the needs and conditions of the situation.

                Do you see why that’s a toxic attitude to have?

                • @rekabis@lemmy.ca
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                  16 months ago

                  Since you’re specifying that men are here to be practical, you’re saying that woman are not practical

                  You are hitting a surprisingly large number of logical fallacies with that statement. Nowhere did I say anything to that, I strongly suggest checking your own biases for that source.

                  Do you see why that’s a toxic attitude to have?

                  Of course that’s a toxicity that has been externally imposed on men. Chris Rock was absolutely correct with his quote - a man who isn’t providing something of value is seen as useless. So in order to avoid going down “unproductive” paths that provide no value or utility to our betters, men have to always be providing value; to not waste time and energy on things that aren’t useful.

                  You see this everywhere in Nature, where males provide value through demonstrations of genetic fitness via gaudy displays that require effort and internal resources to pull off. Without those displays of fitness, they have absolutely no value and the females utterly ignore them.

        • @samus12345@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          No, he actually believes that men can be “reasonable” and “practical” as opposed to women, who typically do not “align [their] efforts to the needs and conditions of the situation.”

      • Rentlar
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        286 months ago

        Would have been a good answer if you stopped after word #13.

      • @chitak166@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        I think your point applies more to people rather than just men or women.

        People have different standards for cleanliness.

        I’ve come across men who are need-freaks and women who are slobs.

      • Goodman
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        26 months ago

        Don’t you think that this “men are here to be practical” theory has some gaps? Like there are plenty of men who do the things that you describe as unnecessary

        • What if you just likes cooking or fancy meals?
        • What if your cleanliness standards are just higher?

        I’m not saying that barns should be sweeped or that everyone should cook fancy meals. But to say that people who do do that are (as you seem to be implying) overdoing it, or impractical is a bit unfair I think. I am also quite practical but still respect that others have higher standards or just “want things their way” which should be at least a little relatable to everyone.

  • @A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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    776 months ago

    Basic hygiene.

    cause being clean was for women and (insert homophobic slur here)

    He only “cleans” himself like twice a year, and even then under protest and not fully, because the doctor told him he wont be let in the building if he came in dirty and smelling like BO and shit anymore… and that cleaning is basically a 5 minute shower where he rubs a cloth under his arm pits.

      • @A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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        346 months ago

        Sadly, no exageration.

        And yes, the smell is even worse than you can imagine.

        Had the misfortune of entering his bedroom one day and his sheets were black (they were originally beige…), and stiff, and cracked when he sat on them.

        • @NOPper@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          Had a dude in my division on a US submarine like this. Stupidly gross. Ended up having a medical order that basically made him shower every day under supervision from our doc to ensure he bathed. Imagine the dude you mentioned but enclosed in a metal tube under the ocean for months at a time.

          • @CentauriBeau@lemmy.world
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            146 months ago

            Shower parties aren’t a thing anymore? In my days scumbags were assisted in their shower by a few larger shipmates and various brushes. It usually only took one to convince them to mind their smell in such cramped quarters.

            • @NOPper@lemmy.world
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              176 months ago

              Post 9/11 there were sweeping changes and a few high visibility hazing incidents that put a hard stop to that kind of bullshit. Not entirely a bad thing but I know what you mean.

        • @LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world
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          246 months ago

          Holy fucking shit. Does he have serious mental illness? I’ve never seen or heard of someone being even remotely like that and not have some form of mental illness. Dude needs some kind of therapy either way, goddamn.

          • @planish@sh.itjust.works
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            116 months ago

            Refusing to do normal human tasks to the point where it interferes with your ability to meet your life goals is sort of definitionally mental illness.

          • @A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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            66 months ago

            Nope, no mental illness.

            Just grew up in a house where it was normalized and unshamed, apparently. Which is why the only thing that can make him “shower” is the doctor visit, under threat of not seeing the doctor/getting refills if he didnt.

              • @nomous@lemmy.world
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                26 months ago

                Yeah idc how you spin it bathing 2 times per year and having sheets so dirty they’re black and crack when they move is serious mental illness.

                If his home was like that growing up it just means his parents had a mental illness as well.

  • SokathHisEyesOpen
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    6 months ago

    I think it’s important to call most of these stories what they are. They’re not toxic masculinity, they’re homophobia, in the most literal sense of the word.

    Edited for clarity

      • SokathHisEyesOpen
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        6 months ago

        The thread in general. After reading a bunch of the stories, it occurred to me that they are all homophobic. Men engaging in certain behaviors, or avoiding behaviors and activities to avoid being perceived as gay are homophobic. You make a good point though, I edited my response to make it more clear.

    • KptnAutismus
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      96 months ago

      being attracted to a man is obviously a feminine trait. and we hate everything feminine, did i tell you i hate the woman i confessed my love to and have been married to for 30 years?

      /s

    • @Ultraviolet@lemmy.world
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      56 months ago

      You’d think someone obsessed with masculinity would realize there’s nothing manlier than two dudes fucking.

    • @harsh3466@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      The venn diagram of toxic masculinity and homophobia is pretty much a circle.

      Edit: fixing my dumbass phone’s autocorrect.