If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.
I am seeing my new doctor tomorrow to start HRT!
Yay! It’s goIng to be great <3
Quite a lot has happened recently that I could talk about, publically dead named and misgendered, started to accept being autistic (and finding it to be a relative positive process so far), made a bunch of progress with my music and I made the best brownies last night.
But honestly I’m just really happy because I have a pair of overalls now and I feel cute, the rest is just noise. It’s so awesome how affirming clothing can be when you get it right.
I’ve been super busy this month doing what I can to help prepare a grassroots trans rights rally, and I’m so damn excited to go to a trans music show on Saturday. It’s almost like a big celebration that all the hardwork is behind us, and I’m going to get to see a local trans folk punk artist that I really admire. I’m extremely tired, but in a good way I think.
So. I was in town the other day, and caught sight of my reflection. “Hmm, I actually look almost like a girl today,” I thought. In an inexplicable fit of courage, I decide to risk the women’s bathroom. Heart pounding, I go in. No alarms sound. Finish my business, wash hands, escape. In the end I didn’t encounter anybody else, so it wasn’t much of a test. But now I’m paranoid that that was the only reason it didn’t end in disaster :/
Oh, and I got my ears pierced. Now I get a happiness boost every time I see myself in the mirror!
And the doctor wasn’t happy with my estrogen level, so she’s reduced my dose and put me on spiro. At least I now have an excuse for all the pickles I eat.
Congrats on the bravery and the piercings, that’s huge! To me there’s nothing better than the feeling of looking in the mirror and liking the person you see.
First week on Spiro and E. My skin is already a lot softer, I think? And it’s hard to tell if it’s real or just placebo, but I kind of do feel a little more ‘me.’ I still don’t like looking in the mirror though.
Very jealous. I’m also my first week in on Spiro and E (and Finasteride, because boo hair loss) and I feel… Nothing? That said. I got to try out my first real outfit. Turns out I like skirts and shrugs. Even better when the skirt has pockets! I’m glad things are working for you, though. As with everyone on this journey, YMMV. Enjoy it!
Don’t worry! Feeling no effects is perfectly normal, especially if you’re on a low starter dose.
Thanks! Yes, I think I need to talk to the clinic. 50mg/day of spiro seems far too low for someone my size
Good luck with Spiro, it’s not recommended in Europe because of its link to higher chances of cancer and strokes. I was given a replacement once the UK NHS gender clinic took me in, of Decapeptyl.
I used to take 100mg of Spiro every 12h. I ended up blitzing my T into oblivion aha
Hormone alteration isn’t directly related to body size, though - you only need as much as needed to drop your body’s production of certain hormones. This requires blood tests to monitor.
Ordered a few more of the same stretchy black skirt (with pockets!) for myself. Started thinking more on permanent hair removal options; there’s an electrolysis place relatively close to me at a price point i’d consider reasonable. Tired of “okay” results from an electric razor and just want it all gone (everything below the neck, but prioritizing the “undercarriage” as a starting point).
20 something days till my first psychologist appointment for ADHD evaluation… id like to be able to actually do something with my life sooner rather than later. For all the stress the world puts on mental health its a little screwed up how long the systems that be make you sit and wait 😬
Otherwise, same old tired me with an increasing awareness of how bad my anxiety really is and how its hurt me in life. Very lonely but also completely paralyzed and unable to maintain any kind of relationship with other people; I haven’t had a real friend group since like middle school.
