Hi gorgeous! <3

Tired sure is the word. I’m on a higher dosage this week, so hoping to see some effects soon. Good luck with your appointment!

So after seeing it recommended I’ve been reading “The Mimosa Confessions” and I agree, it’s very sensitively written. Although it suffers a bit from the “and then they passed, flawlessly, and with perfect fashion sense” trope which gave me some serious gender envy.

Over the winter I’ve mostly been going with a “lesbian tomboy” aesthetic, and it’s been making me a bit uncomfortable recently. Inspired by the story I put together all my girliest stuff into an outfit for the weekend and it was great! I don’t feel like a man in a dress any more. Still have no idea what I’m doing fashion-wise, but I’m definitely going to push the boundaries a bit more for spring.

Probably about time to get the ball rolling on SRS too, given how long waiting lists and preparation can take.

Oh, and I’ve been trying out atomoxetine for ADHD. Doesn’t seem to be doing much for me yet, but at least it’s not tanking my blood pressure like guanfacine. Only a few registered physicians are allowed to prescribe methylphenidate here.

Ah yes, I know it well. The “I’m only into cute shit ironically” → “I’m secure enough in my masculinity to dress in pink” → “I’m a girl” pipeline.

I’m wary of jumping into this thread, but openly trans person in Japan here. I have encountered nothing but acceptance and kindness.

Let’s be careful not to tar everyone with the same brush.

• I was bitten by a radioactive lesbian.
• I kept fighting with my wife over the air conditioning.
• To get better at karaoke.

Awesome!

I keep feeling that I should be doing more transition-related stuff, but pointless activity isn’t going to make things happen any faster. (Insert “No transition, just girl” meme here) I suppose I should do some real-life things at some point too. Wife isn’t using my chosen name yet, but at least she’s avoiding using the old one now. There is hope <3

Weight down to 69kg (nice!). Might actually hit my (totally arbitrary) goal after all.

Oh, and I went to see the finale of “sempai is an otokonoko” at the cinema. They were handing out stickers and limited-edition student IDs of the main characters.

Not a doctor, but as far as I know, so long as you’re not completely starving yourself, you’ll develop both fatty tissue and glandular tissue in the breasts regardless of how chunky (or not) you are elsewhere. But excess fat is also laid down in the breasts, so if you’re overweight you’ll also have larger breasts.

Anecdotal, but I’ve been steadily losing weight since just before starting HRT, and no problems here :3

A starvation diet is probably not a good idea, though. Keep eating a good balance of nutrients!

Skinny girls can grow breasts. And it’s not as if eating to excess is going to make them grow faster (although higher body fat will make everything bigger).

Double the fun 😊

So much I became one :3

(Sorry, couldn’t pass up the opportunity to say it at least once)

Ah, that’s what I was trying but failing to express.

Given how the population of trans-centered spaces appears to skew heavily towards newly-out and questioning people, it seems likely to me that many people just don’t know how to comment helpfully without egging, or realize that they’re being harmful.

It reminds me of the “oh you’re trans? But you don’t look it” comments: yeah, they’re essentially transphobic but more likely than not born of ignorance rather than hate.

The end result is the same, though, so I don’t want to pretend it’s not harmful. And I agree that enforcement is needed.

I think the last part is so important, and why the “Egg Prime Directive!” mantra makes me a bit uncomfortable.

Why?

Because I wish so much somebody had sat me down in my mid teens and said “hey, dumbass, the reason you’re so unhappy and wish you were a girl is because you’re trans. You should talk to a therapist.” I resent losing out on all those years.

How would I have reacted to that hypothetical person? Probably very badly, which is why Egging is a Bad Thing.

But if someone had talked to that kid with kindness, explained about what being trans is without accusation, and lent an ear until I’d worked up the courage to ask for professional help, things might have turned out much better.

I suspect a lot of egging comes from a similar place. So let’s try to show people how to be supportive without invalidating others’ identities, in preference to beating them with the anti-egging stick. Exactly how to achieve this, I have no idea…

Oh my, right in the feels 😭

I may be presenting more fem than I thought. Roughly translated:

• “So, you’ve given up being a man then?”
• “Err, well, kind of…” ← (very surprised me was too shy to just say “yes”)
• “It’s OK. You should follow your heart.”

People can be so nice <3

A week was a bit too long for me with 10mg e. valerate injections (monotherapy). It wasn’t unbearable, but I’d feel pretty shitty by day 6 or so. I’m on patches now, which gives me a much more stable level without too much hassle. Highly recommended if you can get them and don’t have a bad reaction to the adhesive.

Half a year into transition here. I’ve been sleeping much better since I started, and I don’t think I remember having any dreams since.

In the past, my dreams which didn’t feature gender would have been “assumed male” regular me. But I did have a recurring dream where I’d wake up as a woman one day, and they were mostly centered around how to explain it to the people who knew me and generally enjoying my new life. Those were absolutely crushing to wake up from. Also sexual fantasies and dreams were mostly from a female perspective (thus I assumed it was just a fetish for a long time).

I would also very frequently dissociate during waking times and imagine myself doing whatever I was doing, but as a woman. Not in a sexual way, just a very melancholy “if only…” feeling.

That’s all stopped since starting transition. Instead, when I’ve been concentrating on something and come “back to reality” as it were, I often get a brief flash of “crap, I’m a man – no, wait – oh shit I’m out and transitioning is this a dream I must be crazy – calm down, this is what I want” with an associated adrenaline spike. That’s not fun. Other times when my mind wanders I can just reflect happily on how awesome it is I get to be a woman at last, if I can stave off the “you’re faking it” dysphoria.

I don’t have much experience yet of being treated as a woman socially, or even seeing myself in that role, but I’m hoping that will change and I get used to it. Then I’d expect my dreams to mostly reflect that.

Euphoria-to-effort ratio is pretty damn good for nails!

And the rest of the body is what dysphoria hoodies are for :3

Thanks!

I suspect the difficulty some men may have with accepting a trans partner is due to internalized homophobia / toxic masculinity. It’s very easy to think “of course I’m not bi / trans / whatever” without ever actually considering the possibility (at least it was in my case). The same can apply to women, of course, but perhaps women culturally face a little less pressure in that respect at least?

And you are exactly right: coming out, even just to myself at first, was scary as fuck. But worth it!