Yeah I’ve been bi(sexual) since the 90’s when it was, uh, ‘frowned upon’, but I came out as bi-romantic last year. The erasure is absolutely real and brutal. I was talking with a guy (who was gay) and when I said I was bi he sighed aloud and then just walked away. The vast majority of people are much better about it, though I have not had a great experience once I came out as enby. Random women have come up and ‘negged’ my hair/clothing/etc, men on the other hand get annoyed when they mistake me for a woman.
I mostly just care about the intent. Nobody ever means me ill will when they refer to me as gay, so it’s w/e.
I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but you might want to say to them ‘hey so I love being included, and it feels somewhat erasing to be…’. I find that the vast majority of the time that goes over well and people go with it.
Yeah I’ve been bi(sexual) since the 90’s when it was, uh, ‘frowned upon’, but I came out as bi-romantic last year. The erasure is absolutely real and brutal. I was talking with a guy (who was gay) and when I said I was bi he sighed aloud and then just walked away. The vast majority of people are much better about it, though I have not had a great experience once I came out as enby. Random women have come up and ‘negged’ my hair/clothing/etc, men on the other hand get annoyed when they mistake me for a woman.
I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but you might want to say to them ‘hey so I love being included, and it feels somewhat erasing to be…’. I find that the vast majority of the time that goes over well and people go with it.