• latenightnoir@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Can’t speak for everyone, but for me it’s a clusterfuck of abstract conditions. I overthink the conversation to hell and back - maybe I’m misunderstanding what they say, maybe it cuts off repeatedly then I have to awkwardly ask my interlocutor to repeat themselves over and over again, the absence of non-verbal cues blows my interpretation gates wide open, I worry that I’ll come off wrong, etc., etc. And the anticipation’s just as bad, to be honest. It’s, overall, very uncomfortable.

    I much prefer in-person, or text. In person, I can “feel the vibe” without issues, and text allows me to think, rethink and polish my message, and I don’t worry about having to clarify, because I just go back to “think, rethink and polish” with even more specifics at hand.

    Phone convos (without video) are like the reverse Daywalker to me - the weaknesses of both text and in-person, with none of their strengths.

    Edit: as a half-funny and half-frustrating example, about 90% of the times in which I provided my full name via phone, it ended up being butchered, a few times even in official documents (almost got stuck at Customs first time I went abroad with mum, because my actual name was nowhere to be found on the passenger manifest). This happened even when I spelt the name letter by letter.

    • Smorty [she/her]
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      1 day ago

      i mean - yea, that’s phone calls - but i feel that people know that calls are kinda shid, besides when ur talking to a close and reasonable person.

      i hav kinda grown on it ever since i started calling a fren during work for multiple hours. it was fun and not problematic at all…

      but yes, calling other peeps is very uncomf.

      • latenightnoir@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Oh, agreed, it very much depends on the interlocutor. I was mainly thinking of an average phone call, but I’ve had people with whom I used to spend hours upon hours just chatting over the phone or, as you’ve said, voice chatting during work.

        But that, to me, requires a high degree of familiarity, to the point where I don’t need to think about what they meant when they said that in that particular way, because I already know their “tropes,” so to speak.

          • latenightnoir@lemmy.world
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            1 day ago

            It all started with my grade school Civics teacher… :)) Partly kidding, long story short, it’s a combination of not caring about updoots and not liking to vote for myself:))