Share some activities you’ve been interested in doing but couldn’t do because you’re closeted.

Transmasc, Transfem, Nonbinary, and Gender Non-Conforming answers are all welcome and encouraged here.

  • CyberEgg@discuss.tchncs.de
    39·
    23 days ago

    Shaving. Now, that also does have something to do with low self-esteem and being scared about how I’d look without beard since I am bearded for half my life and didn’t shave my face smooth since I was 16, but I’d like to try but then everybody and their mom would ask why and I don’t want to answer (I’m a bad liar and don’t feel comfortable lying, too).

    Edit: I appreciate y’all wanting to help, but please stop. I didn’t ask for advice, I’ll probably eventually figure something out and I kinda feel pressured and pushed, it’s really not great. Sharing your own experiences is fine, but more is really not needed (especially if you’re suggesting coming up with excuses)

      • CyberEgg@discuss.tchncs.de
        14·
        23 days ago

        It should be, but isn’t exactly for my family. They’re already completely losing their shit when I tap a toe outside my usual ‘I wear black until there’s something darker’-presentation.

        • Dragon Rider (drag)@lemmy.nzEnglish
          10·
          23 days ago

          “I bought an electric razor to try it out and see if it’s more efficient, but accidentally shore a giant hole in my beard and had to do damage control” is also a valid answer.

          • ZorsithEnglish
            4·
            23 days ago

            That’s how I ended up full-body shaving (feels so much better); got an electric on a whim, did a section, waited a day, did another section clogged my tub drain and said “fuck it”, and did everything below the neck 😅

    • BougieBirdieEnglish
      10·
      23 days ago

      Hey, I’m just here after reading your edit, and I just want to say that you’re totally valid.

      I have a big bushy beard and I wear dresses and skirts and such. I know that I’m definitely in the minority, but fuck it, life’s too short not to do what you want.

      Ever since I was a kid I wanted a beard like my dad. Now that it’s come fully in, I haven’t shaved my face in a decade. It’s at least as much a part of my identity as my femininity, and the two don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

      Anyway, I don’t want to add to the pressure you’re feeling. You’re the only one who can say how you should live your life, and there’s no wrong answers. But I’ve lived in the closet for a long time, and while I was there it might not have been comfortable, but it felt safe. But now that I’m out, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
      7·
      23 days ago

      I get that. I didn’t shave my beard until the weekend before starting hormones. It was an armor I grew to protect myself (partly from seeing my face) and I let it go when it was time. I had the same reasons for not shaving sooner. So grow it until you’re ready to shed it sister. Your body is yours alone.

    • 🦄🦄🦄@feddit.orgDeutsch
      5·
      23 days ago

      Been there, done that. What helped me was two things.

      1. Finding out nobody cared that much about my beard missing, except some close friends/partner but they also know me

      2. Just saying “I wanted to try something new” which is definitely not a lie :3

      Honestly shaving makes a huuge difference. Even now, a couple of months into hrt and permanent hair removal the difference a fresh shave makes for my self-recognition in the mirror is astounding!

      • CyberEgg@discuss.tchncs.de
        2·
        23 days ago
        1. Finding out nobody cared that much about my beard missing, except some close friends/partner but they also know me

        It’s mostly about my family, especially my mom. She’s a different kind of judgmental sometimes. And she’s the last person I want to get a sniff about me changing in any way.

        Honestly shaving makes a huuge difference.

        I know… I’m happy it’s long pants season again so I can shave my legs and it hits completely different.

        I might shave my face, too, but only when I don’t have to meet with my family for a few weeks so I can grow some of my beard back. After New Year is probably gonna be good time since it’s probably scarf season anyway.

    • dandelion
      4·
      23 days ago

      When I shaved and people noticed, I just told them I used to shave that way or that I’ve always preferred it this way, and the only reason I had a beard before was because I was so busy for a while and stopped shaving to save time, so I was just getting back to my normal habits. You can probably find a similar excuse, that you have always preferred it this way and you’re just getting back into it.

      I should emphasize: men shave all the time, there is nothing suspicious about shaving your beard, hard stop.

    • PipsterEnglish
      3·
      23 days ago

      I was able to use covid as an excuse as there was a chance I was going to go back to work in the labs and the advice to workers was to be clean shaven if possible. I don’t miss it one bit and after the first time I met somebody I knew they never commented on it again.

    • ZorsithEnglish
      3·
      23 days ago

      Yeah, I kinda wanna try shaving off my beard as well. It’d be a bit problematic for me though, all my ID has me with a beard, and i look completely different without it (photo ID gets checked a lot for work). Whole reason I grew it was because it’s so dense and grows so fast shaving smooth regularly was a pain in the ass.

      • CyberEgg@discuss.tchncs.de
        2·
        23 days ago

        Does your beard grow quick though? But yeah, how much a full, thick beard changes your appearance is often underestimated.

        • ZorsithEnglish
          2·
          23 days ago

          Yep. I’d have most of it back inside of 2 weeks.