Share some activities you’ve been interested in doing but couldn’t do because you’re closeted.

Transmasc, Transfem, Nonbinary, and Gender Non-Conforming answers are all welcome and encouraged here.

  • dandelion
    13·
    2 months ago

    That’s about right.

    It’s funny how I held on and didn’t transition for other people, but when I transitioned pretty much nobody cared that much. Transition felt impossible and so selfish before transitioning, yet on other side it seems like it was self-destructive to not transition and trivial compared to how difficult I thought it was going to be. (Though transition is difficult, don’t let me mislead - it’s just not nearly as bad as I thought it would be, and there are so many things that went better than I thought.)

    I guess this is just a lesson in how easy it is to rationalize and build up your fears, and how you are your own biggest barrier.

    • Smorty [she/her]
      4·
      2 months ago

      I currently have a similar thought proccesss to how you described yours.

      Transitioning feels like this super selfish thing, where many of my friends and family will just not accept it, and where I drag people more down than I help myself.

      Unfortunately I have not convinced myself to another point of view yet.

      • MentalEdge@sopuli.xyz
        5·
        2 months ago

        People who would get “dragged down” by someone they know transitioning are doing it to themselves. There is no logic in laying the blame on the person transitioning.

        It costs nothing to be kind and supportive to those around you, so I would consider those who won’t even do that, to be the selfish ones.

        If a person struggles with someone they know transitioning, good, because maybe that finally provokes the introspection in them, required to become a better person.

        If it doesn’t, I don’t know how to help them.

        But I know how to help you. Transitioning is not selfish. It’s life-saving.

        • dandelion
          2·
          2 months ago

          Yes, in my experience the only people in your life who really struggle are people who have their own issues (i.e. it never actually seems to be about you or your transition exactly) e.g. people who are closeted and who experience pain when reminded of their issues when they see you.

          Usually even a bigoted religious person isn’t directly mean to you, it seems like the Christians generally reiterate how much they love you and so on (but they don’t want to talk too much about gender). In fact, I don’t find anyone wanting to talk about gender IRL, lol. Anyway, it’s hard to tell how it will go - I think it’s also different if you’re a minor living at your parents’ house compared to an independent adult. It also depends on who is in your life, and how they felt about you before you transitioned.

          Either way, transitioning is like taking medication as a diabetic or someone with hypothyroidism - it really is life-saving and necessary.

      • dandelion
        3·
        2 months ago

        To be fair, I never convinced myself of the other view point, even now I think transitioning is “selfish” in a sense, it’s just that on the other side I can confirm it wasn’t like I thought it would be and that there was also something “selfish” about never taking care of myself and being a burden on others because of that.

        • OldEggNewTricks
          1·
          2 months ago

          I think it’s OK to be selfish, so long as that means prioritizing self-interest over that of others, rather than being greedy at others’ expense. And transitioning does not cost anybody else anything: you don’t owe it to anyone to be anything other than yourself.

          After all, nobody is going to look out for your well-being as diligently as you yourself.