i feel so bad, they (19nb) had a bf already but they liked me too and tried to pursue me when his bf didn’t give confirmation. then they felt bad and stopped talking to me as much, because they couldn’t hang out w/o him knowing.

because they liked me, they made me feel loved and would say they were gonna do all these romantic things with me, until they broke up today because their bf didn’t like it. and he doesn’t understand why i’m upset because “i liked him first! i liked him before you, he’s my first choice!!” idc. ik you’re dating, that’s not why i’m upset, and you don’t have to keep talking abt your bf whenever i mention something. i know.

  • drbollocksOPEnglish
    8·
    20 小时前

    if u don’t get the ok from your partner, do not pursue other ppl while dating them please 🙏

    • Sas [she/her]@beehaw.org
      3·
      10 小时前

      Likewise do not pursue people that go over their partners wishes and open up their relationship without consent. That’s cheating and if you actually end up together it is very likely that you’re gonna get cheated on and your consent on such things will probably be disrespected.

      I’d recommend to take this as a learning experience and am sorry that it happened to you. I know that if I crush on someone I’d probably go against the things I preach as well but that’s unhealthy.

  • ThisGuyGetsIt@feddit.ukEnglish
    3·
    17 小时前

    Wtf did I just read…

    The pronouns are all over the place, is the person a they or a he. You didn’t capitalise any "I"s. In the first sentence, a semi-colon and a comma would have been appropriate. Why would you abbreviate “without”? You didn’t capitalise any first letter in any sentence. All in all, it’s a badly written post, and that’s before we start on the content.

    So you’re upset at being ditched when it was made clear to you that you would’ve been a second in a polycule. A polycule that never existed because all parties didn’t consent. Even if this somehow worked; you would’ve been a second choice and ditched whenever convenient. It sounds like you got what you were bargaining for on a faster time scale, it was only a matter of time before you were set aside.

    Then let’s get on to the fact that the polycule was never an option. You were being kept as a backup. Even if you started the polycule, the kind of people that can make a polycule work are not the same type of people who post on feddit when they’re upset. People that make poly work have strong support networks outside the poly.

    Also, your non binary, almost partner was flirting with cheating, which makes them scum.

    Why are you still talking to someone after being treated like that?

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
    2·
    18 小时前

    I mean, you definitely dodged the bullet. Anyone thinking that is an acceptable way to treat someone else is not going to be a good partner at all, to anyone.

    Nothing inherently wrong with open relationships or similar options. But you don’t misrepresent your intent. Serious douchebaggery, that is.