Just for clarification anyone who expresses hostility or invalidation towards people who “want” to be any specific identity, will be immediately and permanently banned. This is a transmedicalist gatekeeping mentality that frankly isn’t supported here, or on blahaj as a whole. If a person wants to be some gender identity, and they identify that way, it is valid and to be respected no ands, ifs, or buts.
I know OP was talking about an internal process that happens but I felt that this needed to be said, because this type of thinking process arises because of that type of gatekeeping.
Oh yeah, that was not my intention at all! If it would be better to take the post down, I will take it down, no problem
No you don’t have to, there’s nothing wrong with the post, I just want to make sure people understand that fact that people can want to be trans or want to be NB. There are a lot of gatekeeping people hiding in the shadows unfortunately who argue that wanting to identify a particular way is somehow appropriation.
I think this post is actually very good since it highlights why their reasoning is problematic and gatekeeping.
Removed by mod
It took me a while to realize something was different about me because I’d want to be a woman or feminine but didn’t feel dysphoric about my masculinity.
fuck this hurts. it took me years to accept myself and finally say that yes, i’m trans and even a year and a half after coming out, i still struggle.
Good thing identity isn’t zero-sum
Well I would not be surprised if some people genuinely thought about this.
I would guess OP has felt something similar at some point and that’s why they shared it.
Certainly something I can relate to, even if not exactly 100% identical.
If you swap the words cis and trans in this, it’s just as absurd. Respect yourself. Be who you want to be. Trans, cis, be the dinosaur astronaut you wanted to be when you were four years old. The mere act of asking yourself what you want and really listening to the answer is all the permission you need.
Not disagreeing with your point, just want to point out some people who grew up in a very repressed environment can really struggle with figuring out what they even internally want to be. Sometimes it’s a situation that triggers the thought and they reactionarily stuff that right back down. I get that that’s a different situation that what your talking about here, I’m not disagreeing with what you’re saying.
That was exactly my case. I grew up in a very repressed environment where sexuality and gender were taught and reinforced in an extremely cis- and hetero-normative way. We were not taught about gender and sexuality in a factual or responsible way, much less encouraged to explore and determine our identities for ourselves. It’s taken me a lot of self reflection, learning what being queer really means, and unlearning some really unhealthy thought patterns, to start to recognize who I truly am
Everyone’s experience is different, and everyone will deal with different hangups, that’s true. I grew up in a very repressed environment myself, actually, and it has been a real struggle and many years of shedding layer after layer of repression to get to where I am, and every time it’s been learning how to listen to myself. I’m also not disagreeing with you either! ❤️
deleted by creator
