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Wizarding_Lizarding@sh.itjust.works to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 3 months ago

A balanced diet is important

sh.itjust.works

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A balanced diet is important

sh.itjust.works

Wizarding_Lizarding@sh.itjust.works to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.worldEnglish · 3 months ago
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  • otto@sh.itjust.works
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    3 months ago

    • Snot Flickerman
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      3 months ago

      To this day, the “Now with FLAVOR!” part still kills me.

  • JoeTheSane@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    A lot of prospective boyfriend carers don’t know this, but once the typical boyfriend comes of age to be chosen by a carer, they are perfectly capable of procuring and preparing their own food!

    Just make certain that you show them where the food items are located, and they should be able to provide not only for themselves, but for you, too! Now, no one says it’s wrong to feed a boyfriend, but not playing to their capabilities not only deprives them of proper growth, but robs you of a core feature of boyfriends: sharing a life as equals!

    Just be a thoughtful and responsible carer, and you could have a happy home for decades, or until it shits on the floor and you have to put it down.

    • FauxLiving@lemmy.worldBanned
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      3 months ago

      I’m a big boyfriend, all growed up, I can make hot pocket and peanut butter sandwich.

      • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        That sounds amazing rn [8]

    • Walk_blesseD
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      3 months ago

      You mean to say I should let it out of the enriching environment i’ve set up for it in my basement? What if it runs away???

      • atomicorange@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Most boyfriends will come back home if they accidentally escape. Make sure to put a bell on your boyfriend’s collar so if he does get out he doesn’t decimate the local bird population.

        • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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          3 months ago

          Bird population

          😳

        • Walk_blesseD
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          3 months ago

          Would it help if I had him neutered?

          • JoeTheSane@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            Probably

  • FelixCress@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Have you considered breast feeding?

    • uraniumcovid@lemm.ee
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      3 months ago

      have you considered migrating back to reddit, so our eyes don’t have to read such comments like this one?

      • FelixCress@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        There is a “ignore” button if you don’t like it. 🙄

        • uraniumcovid@lemm.ee
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          3 months ago

          have you considered irony?

          • FelixCress@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            Was your comment supposed to be ironic? Perhaps you should read the definition of “irony”.

            • uraniumcovid@lemm.ee
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              3 months ago

              let me introduce you to sarcasm then, a form of irony; you seem nice /s.

              • Nythos@sh.itjust.works
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                3 months ago

                Have you considered maybes that your comment just wasn’t all that funny?

      • HoleLife@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

    • Classy@sh.itjust.works
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      3 months ago

      I tried a bit from the tap after my son was born, can say it was not bad at all

  • Snot Flickerman
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    3 months ago

    Mixing the pellets and wet food is what boyfriends crave.

    • Nicht BurningTurtle@feddit.org
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      3 months ago

      But only do it on special events. Otherwise it won’t go back to regular food.

      • BleatingZombie@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        We call it a “high value treat”

    • Slovene@feddit.nl
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      3 months ago

      And getting to eat a peach several times a week.

      • Hoimo@ani.social
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        3 months ago

        • Alwaysnownevernotme@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          🍑

          • Slovene@feddit.nl
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            3 months ago

            🎼🎶"Snack my peach up"

  • uraniumcovid@lemm.ee
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    3 months ago

    just saw a video on nebula about a kid eating about 70 chicken nuggets every day for 7 years and nothing else. he did go blind, but the average relationship will not last that long, so problem solved.

    • Echolynx@lemmy.zip
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      3 months ago

      Is that a Chubbyemu video or a knockoff?

      • uraniumcovid@lemm.ee
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        3 months ago

        the real deal

  • daggermoon@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Feed me something healthy so I don’t die at 40

    • 🇸‌🇵‌🇪‌🇨‌🇺‌🇱‌🇦‌🇹‌🇪‌🇷‌@lemmy.world
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      I’m over 40 and only eat pizza bites, KD, and poutine. I’ve never had a single health related…aggggggggggggggggggggggg

      • jj4211@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        agggggggggggggggg

        He must have died while typing …

        • jballs@sh.itjust.works
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          3 months ago

          At least he had the good sense to hit the ENTER key before he passed.

        • FauxLiving@lemmy.worldBanned
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          3 months ago

          Ooooo

  • bss03@infosec.pub
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    3 months ago
    NSFW

    My boyfriend seem to prefer eating pussy. ;)

    (I don’t have a boyfriend or a supply of pussy.)

    • Gonzako@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Damn, you’d hit up ur local pussy dealer

    • bestboyfriendintheworld@sh.itjust.works
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      3 months ago

      My last boyfriend‘s diet consisted of protein shakes, ass, dick, cum, G, and amphetamines.

      • D4NT3@lemmy.world
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        and amphetamines.

        Well that escalated into a different direction quickly. 😆

  • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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    The sad thing is I work at a small office with a half dozen nerdy dudes in their late 20s/early 30s and that is literally how all of them eat.

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      Do they rip the worst farts or am I just telling on myself that pizza rolls give me room-clearing war crimes-level gas bombs?

      • Classy@sh.itjust.works
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        The Amish dudes at my work absolutely destroy the toilets. Smears going up the tank, hair everywhere, toilet often clogged. What the fuck are their wives and mothers feeding them??

    • MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml
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      _

  • Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world
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    It’s funny because men can’t cook

    • 3DMVR@lemm.ee
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      In my 20s, most men can cook? Is what I was going to say but then I rememebered I kinda taught and got a few ppl started cooking, you kinda just need to learn to experiement and be okay with failure, a lot of ppl just dont want to ruin their meal or waste food, gotta cook when you aren’t hungry for the love of the game lol.

      • 3DMVR@lemm.ee
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        If you’re a parent, teach them young, the sooner you make the mistakes the easier it is to pick stuff up

  • FrowingFostek@lemmy.world
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    What’s the husband food look like?

    • rockerface 🇺🇦@lemm.ee
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      Borscht

      • FrowingFostek@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Damn, ya got me. I love beets.

    • Saltycracker@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      My wife makes chicken and steak. My experience good.

  • hungryphrog
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    3 months ago

    No veggies? No dessert?

    • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
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      I have gotten used to coffee and desert. I am officially an old man now.

      However, the Italians/French are onto something, an espresso after lunch is great. It gives you half an hour or so of slacking off and then the caffeine kicks in.

  • MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml
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    Pet boyfriend, huh?

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