I know sex toys are generally a personal thing. But they’re also expensive and fun. How would you feel if a guy you’re hooking up with owned a vibrator and wanted to use it on you?

  • Walk_blesseD
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    2 hours ago

    If I were into guys then yeah, it’d be fine as long as we cleaned it properly before use.

  • Wahots@pawb.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    7
    ·
    4 hours ago

    As long as it’s properly cleaned, it should be fine. STDs can’t last very long outside the body. However, you don’t have to use it if you don’t want.

  • indomara@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    5 hours ago

    It’s common in kink circles, but so is proper cleaning. It is common to use Madacide or similar hospital grade cleaners with toys that will be shared. At home we use a chlorhexidine surgical wash on all our toys.

    I wouldn’t trust a random guy during a vanilla encounter to have proper cleaning and storage techniques, but would be fine if he showed me that he did.

  • dingus@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    7 hours ago

    I mean, regardless of whether or not you know it’s been cleaned…it’s ok to say “no”. It’s perfectly ok for some people to feel comfortable with this and for others not to be. Your average sex toy isn’t that expensive. I can’t imagine it would be a huge ordeal to just buy a new one if you are uncomfortable.

  • Drusas@fedia.io
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    6 hours ago

    I have actually experienced this. I didn’t mind that he had toys, but I did not want them used on me.

  • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    30
    ·
    edit-2
    10 hours ago

    Can we clarify if they properly wash their toys between partners? A large proportion of sex toys are designed to be safe to throw in a pot of boiling water (think plugs, dildos etc…) and most other ones are handwashable so… are the toys getting a reasonable amount of cleaning between use?

    (Also, this question can probably be ungendered as there are plenty of sex toys for everyone).

    • Tar_Alcaran@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      17
      ·
      9 hours ago

      Can we clarify if they properly wash their toys between partners?

      I feel we should assume so. I doubt anyone would be ok with an uncleaned sextoy. Hell, I wouldn’t even be ok with my own uncleaned sextoys.

    • ShepherdPie@midwest.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      10 hours ago

      I don’t think it really matters because the person who thinks it’s okay to use sex toys on multiple random partners probably isn’t the type to be extra diligent about cleaning them. There’s no way to guarantee to the partner that they’ve done any cleaning on it at all and they should understand that.

      • blackbrook@mander.xyz
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        13
        ·
        8 hours ago

        I mean you kind of have to accept that a sex partner used the very same body parts with other people, and if anything, those are even harder to sterilize. So your assumption that a person who doesn’t share with you an irrational greater concern about toys is untrustworthy seems problematic.

        • ShepherdPie@midwest.social
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          edit-2
          8 hours ago

          Or you could just not use it at all. Do you typically start your romantic encounters with a boiling pot of water and a second-hand sex toy? What exactly is the upside for the woman in this scenario?

          • petrol_sniff_king
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            edit-2
            4 hours ago

            You’re right. I forgot completely what I learned in sex-ed:

            A dildo, fresh from the factory line, is like a big, beautiful Kielbasa.

            But what happens when multiple people get their lips around this mammoth hot dog? That’s right, it becomes chewed, shriveled, broken, and ugly. Like a meat raisin. Or a slim jim. Or one part of a twizzler.

            A dildo with just two partners has already lost about 25% of its girth. Is that right, boys? Shouldn’t you be purchasing your best?

            #dildo_monogamy

            • ShepherdPie@midwest.social
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              3 hours ago

              Whatever you say, bud. I’m sure the ladies are just as thrilled when you try to convince then that it’s totally okay to reuse a condom used on someone else because you washed it off in the sink.

          • Passerby6497@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            5
            ·
            edit-2
            8 hours ago

            Depends on the woman, but some enjoy it for personal reasons. Like, I have multiple friends I’ve watched take the same dildo (at different events) connected to a F machine and they love just getting drilled by it in front of their friends. And we all know the owner of the machine/dildo properly cleans and sanitizes it between events.

            My entire friend group is kinky and poly, so I understand I’m not exactly a normal responder.

            E: I think it’s important to note that these are non-poros dildos, so there’s no worries about fluid bonding. Also, condoms are helpful in preventing that as well.

  • socsa@piefed.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    21
    ·
    9 hours ago

    My ex wife left various toys and accessories when we got divorced and there were definitely a few tinder dates who seemed into the idea of “general admission” toys. Maybe not something to bring up on the first date but it’s usually pretty obvious what kind of partner is going to be open to that kind of thing after a couple encounters.

      • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        9 hours ago

        If you’re going to come into the thread with such a comment you could at least offer us all free samples.

        • AmidFuror@fedia.io
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          9 hours ago

          Best I can do is grab some of the ones out of the QC reject pile, but I have to warn that they aren’t washed and the QC guy is out half the time due to IBS.

  • dual_sport_dork 🐧🗡️@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    16
    ·
    9 hours ago

    I am disqualified from the first criteria (unless Trump’s recent declaration is indeed canon), however:

    Has he stuck his dick in other women? Is he going to stick it in you, too? Same difference, right? Or maybe fingers are a better example, since nobody’s going to wear gloves or stick a rubber on their digits for that. Insist it’s been cleaned, no matter what it is. And put a jimmy hat on it if necessary for the object in question (and you can stick a condom on most dildos/vibrators, too).

    People will get hung up on the toys because, “eww, weird” and not realize that “weird” is actually the root of their objection.

    • petrol_sniff_king
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      8 hours ago

      and not realize that “weird” is actually the root of their objection.

      Dude, sooo often. It’s so common. I’m crying internally.

  • frezik@midwest.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    9 hours ago

    Context. I know kinky dom men who keep a Hitachi along with their floggers and clamps, and they might bring it out on a first time partner. They also tend to clean it and may even wrap a condom around it.

  • Jo Miran@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    9 hours ago

    If you own and use waterproof toys, I highly recommend a dishwasher with a “sanitize” cycle.