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One of the things I’ve been hoping for with HRT (apart from boobs and so on) is more emotional depth. I have a not entirely undeserved reputation as an emotional black hole. I was going to complain about not seeing any of that this week, until I realized that I’ve been crying over random things all weekend that would ordinarily have me annoyed and looking for a drink. It’s weird how much better I feel after, kind of like a cheat code.
A trans woman I’ve been following on Youtube recently posted a rant about the trans community, and she seems to have internalized a lot of right-wing transphobic talking points. That saddens me, because I’ve only just started unpacking all of my internalized transphobia and misogyny (and I thought I was an ally!) and I realize it’s been causing me a lot of self-loathing.
Oh, and dialing in my dose after switching to injections sucks. I mean, I can top up with gel if need be, but every time I see man stuff coming back feels like waking up from a really good dream and realizing it was just a fantasy all along. Androgen blockers are available, but kind of a last resort here. Guess I might want to seriously consider orchiectomy*?
I want a hug :(
* Autocorrect suggested “hysterectomy” instead, which – I mean – thanks for the affirmation, I guess?
