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One of the things I’ve been hoping for with HRT (apart from boobs and so on) is more emotional depth. I have a not entirely undeserved reputation as an emotional black hole. I was going to complain about not seeing any of that this week, until I realized that I’ve been crying over random things all weekend that would ordinarily have me annoyed and looking for a drink. It’s weird how much better I feel after, kind of like a cheat code.
A trans woman I’ve been following on Youtube recently posted a rant about the trans community, and she seems to have internalized a lot of right-wing transphobic talking points. That saddens me, because I’ve only just started unpacking all of my internalized transphobia and misogyny (and I thought I was an ally!) and I realize it’s been causing me a lot of self-loathing.
Oh, and dialing in my dose after switching to injections sucks. I mean, I can top up with gel if need be, but every time I see man stuff coming back feels like waking up from a really good dream and realizing it was just a fantasy all along. Androgen blockers are available, but kind of a last resort here. Guess I might want to seriously consider orchiectomy*?
I want a hug :(
* Autocorrect suggested “hysterectomy” instead, which – I mean – thanks for the affirmation, I guess?
As an ally, I can’t offer much in words of wisdom, but I am always happy to provide a hug over the internet. So, from one internet stranger to another, I hear you, and I’m here for you.
Also, I can confirm that crying can definitely feel like a cheat code sometimes. 😊
Thank you <3
This weekend I got to use my new name and pronouns with my community for the first time ever. I couldn’t believe how good it felt to hear my new name coming from the people I love. I have been having a really tough couple of months as I have been slowly processing my gender and the joy this weekend gave me made it all feel worth it.
I am extremely lucky, I have so many amazing people around me. All of my people that I reintroduced myself to were excited and supportive. I know that I have a really long road ahead and that not everyone is going to be that great. But I got a taste of what I am doing this for and I think she’s going to be worth it.
Anxious. Have Harvest Festival/Thanksgibbon plans with the family (not notably stressworthy) in a different state. Travel plans for work/pet are mostly settled, but the stress remains.
I got a clinic referral yesterday! Waiting on a confirmation letter/email but the gp visit went so much better than I expected. I was automatically offered the clinic with the shortest waiting times and the doctor made sure to make a note of my preferred name and pronouns on my file. I was in and out in 10 minutes and had to contain a big dumb smile as I was leaving
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To play devil’s advocate, is it possible that your hair just got caught on something and the guy behind you had nothing to do with it? Mine’s not even very long and it gets caught on my sweater all the time.
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