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So my transition results have always been mid, i am by no means a model and I hate to say it but i hate that. I wanted that, and it didn’t happen. I do have smallish boobs but things like hips, ass, etc never really happened for me. I struggle a lot mentally with this. I have been questioning if HRT is even actually working for me, I can still cum and I do see it being the same color it was pre HRT, it is usually reduced at the start of my weekly injection, but by the end it’s back and I feel like shit. I am currently on 0.5ml of estradiol cypinate taken once weekly. I am unsure about my levels since while labs said my estradiol levels were at 200pg/ml I am suspicious I may of injected late and forgot it about it, for reference I usually wait a full 7 days between my injection and labs and when I’ve done that at 0.3ml my levels were only 90pg/ml. I just don’t know and plume doesn’t seem overly helpful to me with my issues.
Oh Sky, you look fine and have looked fine for some time. Not looking good enough is something all women have to deal with. Even if you were an actual model, you’d probably feel the same way you do now. It really is an act of accepting reality and striving for better rather than bemoaning reality and thinking that you suck.
Look in the mirror right now and identify 1 thing you like about your appearance. Every day for the next week, write down a different thing, no matter how small or insignificant you think it is. Don’t qualify or include any critiques in this list; only write about the good things. In a week, make a post here listing the 7 compliments, and any other thoughts you might have. I’ll be waiting.
I could give you several compliments, but that won’t hit the same as if you gave them yourself. Your brain will just write anything I say off as me lying to make you feel better. The activity probably sounds like some corny bullshit about “just looking on the bright side,” but the whole goal of it is to make you see both the dark and the light.
You’re only seeing the negatives, but that isn’t more accurate by virtue of making you feel bad. You don’t have an accurate view of reality right now. You sound no different than someone that tries to pretend that they’re perfect.
yeah, I agree with this fully - I thought sky’s photo was of a AFAB person, the estrogen is clearly working
and I also agree that cultivating self-love is a good solution here, though I think she has to feel motivated to do that first
She might need to learn what she’s missing out on. Self love feels so euphoric that it becomes addicting. Once I fought back against the assumption that I was a piece of shit, I realized I could be so much happier than I ever thought possible. Coming out was necessary, but it wasn’t enough.
preach
I wish someone IRL was there to give her a big hug
How long have you been taking it? From what I’ve seen the best results arrive after quite a while.
Over 2 years
Two years is hardly even the start of a puberty. Just remember that it should only get better and better from now on.
Have you always been injecting it? Maybe our body just doesn’t work with it…
I’m not a medical professional but I could see a case where your body processes your injected estrogen too quickly leading to big and constant hormone fluctuations. Don’t really know too much about what that would do to your body but it would make sense for your psyche to suffer a lot from it.
Edit: if you don’t want to / can’t get pills, you could try doing 1/4 your current dosage every other day and see how that turns out (if it’s even possible with your type if syringe (DON’T REUSE THEM!!))
I was on pills but kinda had even more varied results, also I’m not very about taking pills daily. I always use clean needles/syinges
Do you take an anti androgen? If you’re doing mono, you can aim higher than your current levels into the 250-300 pg/ml range. Your 90 reading after 7 days is well above male ranges and well within the female mean, as cis women often have lows below 50. Your only concern as a transfem would be your t levels.
E levels above 200 will suppress your t properly on their own, but if you’re not taking an anti androgen(usually in daily pill form), then you would want higher than 200 on average. If you aim closer to 300 on average, your low will still properly suppress testosterone without needing another medication.
What about patches or gels? From what i’ve heard, patches seem to be pretty reliable
