There are very few colors that actually look good on me so goth I am :D

What helped me a ton was getting other issues in my life fixed. Especially getting my ADHD meds really made things a lot easier. Starting off small with fingernail paint like I’ve heard here or growing out your hair is an incredible confidence booster. And if you can’t do even fingernails yet, do your toenails and never wear anything open toed. You still have that “hehehe I’m doing something girly” without the struggle of someone seeing anything. (Also helped me a lot getting over the “oh my god, my feet are so huge and manly and ugly” feeling)

I’m still really conflicted about this situation…

Yes it’s good that his influence in this world is gone but it sucks that it had to be through his death. Also the assassination and the praise for it only fules the fire for the opposite party and goes quite hard against democracy even if it’s good that he’s gone…

Yet I can 100% understand the need to reach for a gun when your own freedom (and by proxy your entire life) is on the line.

I think you should keep in mind that transition timelines and success stories are just that. Stories about specifically the success, not the full story…

Over all I’m incredibly happy with my transition but I feel like for almost all of us, there is going to be at least one wrench in all of it. Friends/Family we had to cut out of our lives, belittlement from people, outright discrimination, or even just the nightmare that getting HRT is.

You got this, even if it takes you time. And you’re not alone in your struggles!

I used to use a (female) nickname for anonymity sake on the internet sometimes and it kinda grew on me…

Since I liked both that nickname and by dead name somewhat, I decided that I’d try a mix between the 2 names and it sorta worked but I was never really convinced. That was until I was going through some old google accounts of mine and noticed that I had a profile pic of a character from a game that I really liked and was incredibly similar to the mix between my nick- and dead name (and could be considered gender neutral).

The only issue was: since it’s a very uncommon name, not only did no one know how to spell it, there was also a very good chance that the responsible government agency for name changing stuff would outright reject the name because for some reason you can’t have a uncommon/strange name (the rules are extremely vague).

So while that game char name grew on me for a year, I basically had to come up with the name that I actually took within like 2 weeks because of other regulatory issues…

So I picked a pretty common name where I can say “oh, please use [game char name] as a nickname”. Don’t get me wrong, I quite like the name I took but especially with friends/family it just feels way too serious in comparison. With most people even at work I go by the game char name as a nickname tho and I love it ( ᵔ▽ᵔ)

Edit: I also thought about using the female version of my former middle name - Valentina, but I have too many bad memories of getting made fun of my former middle name… Now that I think about it tho, I might add Valentina back as a middle name in the future

The most i’ll allow you to do is draw the pentagram with your blood and even then only if you let me patch you up afterwards properly (ó﹏ò｡)

Let’s just embrace it, we are a cult now. This means we need sacrifices!

The only question now is, are we gonna pick this guy or JK Rowling first to sacrifice

Also I’m sure someone else has told you that already but don’t wait for estrogen or a name change until anything. The faster you get it done, the happier you will be

I hated my face too… Pre HRT some of my facial features where just so masc, quoting a friend of mine “you got a jawline more chiseled than roman statues”. HRT doesn’t change bone structure so I was devastated that I’d be stuck with that until I could get ffs. But what it does do however is round off facial features. My jawline didn’t go away, it got covered. I’m at a point where I am so happy with myself in general that I can’t even describe how it feels. I don’t think I could bare even a single day going back to how I used to look…

HRT does wonders. There is no other way for me to describe it. You just need to give it the time it needs

Had a similar experience in Austria (even tho people say that it’s easier here). Pretty much took me a year too and I optimized the hell out if the waiting times with stuff like writing several doctors at once and seeing who would give me the fastest appointment.

I still have to go to Germany soon… The waiting time for bottom surgery in Austria is 5-6 years…

Yea getting a compliment from a girl really shines up your entire day. I actually get a lot of compliments because of my style (basically a passing gothy tomboy) and every time it happened it just make me want to melt. Actually get hugs out of it sometimes too ;w;

Man, my prediction with my paintball gun was on point. The Mission 4 is literally the paintball gun I have, modified to shoot with CO2 capsules. Modded Tippmann TMC elite, it even still has the Tippmann logo molded into both the lower receiver and the grip

I can tell you from experience, the TMC is very reliable and effective but maybe not the most accurate (although I suspect that this is more of a skill issue on my part)

Umarex has something very similar with their T4E lineup. Basically co2 paintball markers (chambered down from .68 cal to .50 or .43) that are made to look like a real gun (like their glock 17 or PPQ, both of which I was thinking about buying back when I had money) that can also shoot pepper balls or rubber balls for self defense. I’ve heard though that the pepper balls aren’t as effective as a dedicated spray.

From that description, it almost sounds like my paintball gun :D

In all seriousness though, if it’s new then i’m 99% sure that it’s allowed considering our government. Never heard of them tho

I work in IT. You don’t want to know what horrors I have seen when it comes to password management TwT

That’s actually really cool.

I’m just sadly not in the US. if you’d want to apply for a carry permit here you’d need to prove that you’re at higher risk of being targeted (like being a politician, minorities don’t really count…). Even so, since after a recent school shooting our government is overhauling the gun law, I’ll probably won’t ever be able to own a gun at all ever.

Long story short: every man at age 18 has to get a check if they are fit for the military or civil service and have to chose one if they are. The school shooter didn’t pass the psychological test at the military but passed the gun owners permit psych eval. And now they are considering banning people who fail the psych evaluation from the military from ever getting a gun, which would include me since I was still registered as male at that time.

The only hope I have is that they see during the gun ownership evaluation that I’m female so I didn’t have to go to the military evaluation and ignore that.

Would really suck if I couldn’t because I’m a pretty big gun fanatic…

(Country is Austria btw)

I’m actually even going above the 3-2-1 rule. I’ve got 4 copies: 2 permanently off-site (1x cloud, 1x local off-site) and one permanently with me.

Edit: all of them are encrypted

Life became so much easier when I started using a password manager. Now I just have to worry about losing literally everything if my PC with the password file dies ;v;

The “gun” i mentioned is a pepper gun. It is a small plastic gun-like thing in the price range of 30-50€ and shoots pepper like a pepper spray

Edit: where I’m from, carrying an actual gun is pretty much illegal for regular civilians

Ngl the first time I ran down the stairs without a bra and I noticed that I needed to hold my tits so they didn’t hurt was so euphoric

You’re struggling from the same issue that I am only now starting to overcome: since you’ve tried to fem your voice so much, you can’t see that you’re voice is perfectly passing and you get insecure because of that. The thing that helped me was someone random on the phone calling me “miss” without me telling me their name at a time when I wasn’t even trying hard to do a fem voice. (Best Spam/Phishing call I ever received btw)

So if you keep talking like this and can sustain a voice like this for longer and longer then congrats: you have a new amazing girl voice.

For me, I didn’t manage to sustain my “perfect” girl voice (but I also didn’t try too hard) so I slipped into a passing but low feminin voice which may even fit me better since I feel like it’s more natural (and for NB reasons). So don’t worry if that specific tonality isn’t sustainable for long

The ace flag is just the most beautiful color combo in the world and everyone who disagrees is just wrong