Beheading kings.
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords as a basis for a system of government.
Strange woman here, anyone knows where I can buy swords in bulk, preferably with a pond thrown in? It’s for… a personal project.
Are we to believe that famous actress Margot Robbie doesn’t have some sort of connection for bulk medieval weaponry?
I am shocked and dismayed.
Have you tried your local Swords 'R Us? I hear there’s a July 4 blowout sale this week. Use promo code Pond50 for half of your pond!
The woman = Amy Coney Barrett
The pond = DC swamp
The sword = Official acts
Trebuchets, which btw are far superior to catapults.
Royal beheadings
As somebody who lives in a kingdom, yes! Fucking parasites!
Thailand? Or the UK?
Netherlands. Thailand and Morocco are even worse I guess. There, you’ll get punished harshly for beinig openly anti-monarchy. I feel sorry for those countries.
Thailand’s King is something else. Here’s a photo of him being picked up for his coronation.
I don’t know much about the Netherland’s laws other then you can loose or get your driver’s license restricted if you’re diagnosed with Autism
Our leaders fighting in the wars they start.
You wanted it… go fucking get it cowards.
Imagine a king fighting his own battle, wouldn’t that be a sight…
they should also sport appropriate codpieces to match their raging egos
Hell yeah! Modern leaders are fucking cowards. Don’t start a war if you’re not going to fight in it yourself!
Hey tbf at least here in the States these guys are reaching their 80s…
Guillotines.
That wasn’t really a thing in medieval times. I’m afraid an axe will have to do.
Trebuchet?
Of course! It’s the superior siege engine.
Imagine using this for execution
Especially when you could hold a vote, letting the people decide the method. One option: yeet the person from the trebuchet. The second: yeet something at them from a trebuchet!
Bring outchyo
deadvote!!Yeet a person at this person from a trebuchet!
First used in ancient China around IV century BC.
We can get tripantium though, advanced evolution of it invented in XIII century France.
It’s okay, we’re getting rid of history lessons too!
It was an instrument used by the burghers in bringing about the end of European feudal lordship, replacing the feudal mode of production with the capitalist one.
This might fit in mediaeval times, with the earliest possible recorded use in the 13th century, but it’s certainly not well-known until the early modern period and most famous right on the border between early and late modern.
And the billionaires will be the first to try it out!
Sic semper tyrranis
It goes Yah
Inns, especially if they’ve got an enormous pot of perpetual stew, and people are giving out quests.
That sounds an awful lot like restaurants and jobs…
Yes, but tavern wenches are assumed to be included.
Those are just called lot lizards now.
There was perpetual stew?
Inns like that existed during the enlightenment up through the invention of the railroad. In the medieval era you slept in a church or maybe someone’s home.
Peasant uprisings, to take down the kings of today.
be the change you want to see in the world
Let’s do an EU4 Dithmarschen world conquest run from here on out.
Having most of the year off for festivals and holy days
Good news: take up subsistence farming, no healthcare, no electricity, and make everything yourself, and you too can have half the year “off”.
Don’t threaten me with a good time
I mean the reality was that the time “off” was spent farming their own land, taking care of animals, fixing the house and doing the insane number of household tasks that come with premodern living. Spend a few days just cooking in a medieval style, and you’ll quickly realize it’s a LOT of work.
Meh,
- They had horrible healthcare they couldn’t afford and WE have horrible healthcare we can’t afford
- They spent a lot of time at festivals and with their communities helping each other and WE spend a lot of time chatting on our phones, but mostly playing games.
- They spent a lot of time outdoors doing a lot of work but keeping active, and we can sometimes go for hikes or walks, but we’re Americans, we as a whole, don’t.
- They knew how an could fix things around the farm, we can watch youtube videos unless it’s electronic or DRM.
- They had witch hunts and misinformation and WE have witch hunts and misinformation.
- All of the food they grew was organic but they had to grow it themselves and we have to pay an arm and a leg for non-poisoned food.
- They spent all day working for the king and we spend all day working for billionaires.
- They have poor starving people during famines, we have a too big percentage of poor starving people (13% of US population was food insecure during 2023).
- They had xenophobia and WE have xenophobia.
When you delve into the details of what those bullet points actually entailed, they were all far far worse in medieval times.
Medieval cooking sounds a little bit fun. Besides, maybe, all the slaughtering of animals and heavy use of entrails.
And gathering your own firewood, and water, and making twice as much to prepare for winter, and the strongly reduced options.
I mean yeah, it IS fun for a bit, I do medieval reenactment, obviously I enjoy it. But doing it every day absolutely sucks.
take up subsistence farming
Where?
Plenty of places you can do this. Put “homesteading” into a search engine of your choice and you’ll get more information on the topic than you can handle.
You’ll also pretty quickly realize its a very hard, tedious life and we have it pretty good in many ways in the modern world.
Gotta buy land first. Like 10 acers if you want to grow most of your own food.
Japan sells rural land for cheap
Getting the visa is another story though.
So you think in order for people to not work their lives away we would have to take up subsistence farming? With all the tech and machines we have the only viable way to not be a company man is to give away all of the luxuries we currently have?
How’s that Kool aid tasting?
That’s not remotely close to what I think the world SHOULD BE like.
It is, unfortunately, what I think the world IS like.
I’m also pointing out that if you want that aspect of the middle ages, you can have it right now by also taking all the crappy aspects of the middle ages…
Is Alaska still giving away free land?
No, but it’s like a dollar per square meter if you’re remote enough…
Depending on the state and one’s farming capabilities, some people could already be halfway there! At least part of the year
Guillotines obviously.
guillotines are renaissance era.
Giant shirtless executioners then, I guess.
See, that kind of back talk puts you first in line for the period-inaccurate execution.
Coinciding (by happenstance no doubt) with the fall of monarchies.
Does it matter if they are meant specifically for the ruling class?
.
Perpetual stew, good architecture, and no Twitter
Regicide.
Cloaks would be cool. I know that’s more of a fantasy aesthetic than a medieval one but they are cool enough that it shouldn’t matter.
Medieval aesthetics also really had cloaks, but big detached hoods were more common.
These are pretty cool too!
gonna find some merry men and get a band going!
I have a cloak vendor bookmarked. I haven’t pulled the trigger because I don’t know if I wanna be the cloak guy, but dammit I want a cloak.
You can’t just say this without posting the link to the cloak vendor!
They’re so cool but yeah it’s so “out there”.
My big wool cloak is my absolute favorite winter garment. It is unbelievably warm and cozy, blocks wind better than any other coat I own, and as an added bonus I can wrap someone else up in it with me to keep THEM warm.
I am unabashedly the cloak girl. Bring back cloaks!
I got a wool blanket. I’m sure there’s away to fold/drape into a cloak.
Just looked into it. just need a pin!
Cloaks are actually quite historical, they’re very easy to make and useful in a variety of conditions.
There’s quite a community on reddit about bringing cloaks back: https://old.reddit.com/r/TheCapeRevolution/
Winter