• EmilyM
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    3 months ago

    I feel like Australia is fairly apathetic to us. Probably because we generally dislike Americans and see the massive anti-trans movement as theirs. That’s not to say we’re accepting (I get plenty of disgusted looks from the cis and I’m in a progressive part of town), but it’s more of a passive dislike, attempts to build a large, motivated movement have been unsuccessful.

    There have been some failed attempts to start a culture war and politicise us, but our policies have remained largely sensible and accepting. Most of the country operates on an informed consent model, and youths are able to access puberty blockers through either the consent of their parents or the family court (in cases where the parents are bigots). To change my legal gender, all I needed was a note signed by my GP.

    It’s strange, because I feel like most of the population dislikes us (or at least condescends to us, thinking we’re being taken advantage of by “big pharma”), however we’ve still let actual experts and advocates design policies.

    • @naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      133 months ago

      Mmm, I’ve been beaten up pretty badly. And once was hunted for hours in a sort of catch and release game for them in sydney (thnx cops, always there when I was “loitering” as a teen, not there when I nearly died and you had 3 hours to send a patrol round the area while I begged on calls to you) .

      Mostly people treat me with passive distain or vague curiousity mixed with discomfort. Nobody wants to get particularly close or stand up for me but we’re not a very aggressive people generally so what arsehole stuff there is is just misgendering and sneers.

      To change my legal gender in NSW I had to get steralised and then be “inspected” by 2 doctors just to be really sure I couldn’t breed. Federal government was reasonable though, passport and Medicare etc.

      • cowboycrustation [he/him]OPM
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        93 months ago

        I’m so sorry all that shit happened to you. Nobody should have to go through that.

        • @naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          73 months ago

          No they shouldn’t, but trans people aren’t alone in being abused. I try not to handwring about personal injustice and focus on where I can help to make the world a little softer.

          I can do more due to those who came before, with luck what little I have done will help those who come after. It is not a given that history tends towards a just world, but many people have been fighting for that for a long time and I think we are slowly winning.

          I’m not very old, and even so I see kids expressing non cis/hetero aspects of themselves with a fearlessness I could never have conceived of at their age. It gives me hope.

      • EmilyM
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        83 months ago

        I’m sorry that happened to you. That is horrible, and I’m certainly not trying to claim that we don’t have violent bigots. I’m more trying to say that they aren’t as successful politically as in the US and UK.

        NSW and WA stand out as particularly regressive when it comes to transgender legal procedures. Especially when even Queensland is reforming their laws to remove surgery requirements.

        • @naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          3 months ago

          Yeah I am just saying idk if there’s much Australia wide culture. Like what do I have in common with someone from Perth, it’s sort of like comparing countries inside the eurozone.

          NSW has had Nazi rallies with Liberal pollies attending for example. I think regional nsw is more relaxed but not friendly than the city, which has a more charged culture in general. We get anti trans speakers at the unis etc in Sydney, while out west people are just more willing to leave everyone alone and focus on their own problems.

          When I travel to melbourne people seem a lot friendlier than Sydney, even the lgbt parts of sydney are kinda unwelcoming (tbh there is a strong element of misogyny in the sydney lgbt scene which is gay dominated). Haven’t spent much time up north but never had troubles in coffs harbour (near qld border) where people are more likely to just be confused and blunt about it than mean.

          Tazzie was also quite chill when I travelled, even catcalls were more respectful :p.

          • cowboycrustation [he/him]OPM
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            23 months ago

            I’m curious as to which province Posie Parker attempted to have the infamous Nazi TERF rally at

            • EmilyM
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              63 months ago

              She actually did it multiple times! The one you would have heard of was in Victoria, which is up there as one of the most progressive states in Australia. She also came to Canberra, the capital and where I live. I obviously attended the counter-protest and there were also Nazis there (one pictured here).

              • cowboycrustation [he/him]OPM
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                13 months ago

                I hope they ban her from Australia (and ideally, everywhere else in the world). She’s one of the few people who I view as genuinely evil. If there’s twelve people and one Nazi at a table, there’s twelve Nazis at the table.

                Good on you for being on the right side of history. The fight is not over yet 🏳️‍⚧️. Also that is terrifying and takes a lot of courage to be in such close proximity to open Nazis.

    • AdaA
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      53 months ago

      There is definitely a privilege aspect at play too. I’m a well spoken, boring white, middle aged cis passing trans woman with a family and an established career, which makes me the “right kind of trans” in most people’s eyes. Institutionally, I feel the apathy, but as far as random folk go, whether strangers or colleagues, I would say that by and large they are openly supportive. The unspoken part is that many of those folk are probably only that supportive of trans folk “like me”, even if they don’t realise it themselves.

  • Lumelore (She/her)
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    123 months ago

    Here in Minnesota my experience has been pretty good, at least in the urban areas. Not so much in rural areas.

    And I unfortunately live in a rural area though. It’s pretty much just grumpy old people here and they are extremely redneck, but they usually just ignore me. I ended up quitting my job at a small local store because there were certain people that made me feel like my life was in jeopardy every time they came in. Hot-headed extremely conservative old men that always had multiple visible guns on them, and they were always a pita to deal with.

    The other thing that sucks is that ever since I realized that I’m queer I’ve had absolutely zero irl social life and that is a huge drain on me mentally. I wish I could drive to the city but the DMV here has been a hot mess ever since covid happened, although I finally got an appointment to take my test off of a cancellation. It’s my 5th try (I know) but I’m so much more confident now since starting e. Hopefully I can pass and get out of the shitty town I live in.

  • cowboycrustation [he/him]OPM
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    3 months ago

    I’m from the deep (very rural) south of the USA. I’m also a white trans man, which means my experiences are gonna be wildly different than that of a person of color, trans woman, or someone from a city.

    The general attitude here is “don’t ask, don’t tell.” Mind your own business, don’t make a fuss (aka fight for human rights or injustices), and keep your head down and most people won’t give you trouble. I would not feel safe or comfortable enough to hang up a pride flag.

    It’s an open secret within my extended family and church that I’m trans. Those are the two main places I get misgendered and dead named nowadays because they knew me pre transition and I just don’t have the courage to officially come out to them. Even so, I know everybody knows on some level but most people don’t understand the whole pronouns thing. Nobody tells me I’m going to hell or anything and I’ve sung in the men’s choir since I joined it pre T. I don’t bother because I’m about to move anyhow.

    I’ve also isolated myself a lot in order to avoid potential transphobia here. The most transphobia I ever got on a daily basis was in public school from laws, administration, and some students. It was really bad. Some other students were nice and supportive, though. I had to homeschool myself to avoid all that.

    Gender roles are generally strictly divided here. I feel a lot of pressure to strictly conform to male gender roles because it seems like nobody else plays around with them. You don’t often see men with long hair or piercings or anything of that sort. Honestly, I don’t feel like I’m being authentic with myself right now. It’s better than it was pre transition, but still stifling. It’s a very conformist society.

    Non binary people just aren’t a thing here. I don’t mean to say that a non binary identity is invalid or that there aren’t non binary people here, but they are widely not acknowledged or out to the public around here. When I was younger, I identified as nonbinary and had a pretty androgynous appearance. A lot of times in school people would be like “WHAT ARE YOU??? ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL???” One time in a class while I was absent the teacher pulled up my school records so the students could see my sex assigned at birth because they kept asking about it. People don’t know what nonbinary is a lot of the time.

    The laws here are really bad, obviously. I have no legal protection against discrimination or hate crimes. I have to go to a different state to get my medication even though I’m a legal adult. Honestly though, most people aren’t as hateful as the politicians pushing the laws. I’ve used the men’s bathroom at a lot of different places and never got into any trouble, even though it’s technically illegal.

    The deep south actually has a very significant amount of queer people. I think most tend to congregate around big cities like Atlanta, New Orleans, and Huntsville, though.

    I don’t exactly hate it here. I wish people were more informed and the laws were better, but it’s my home.

  • southsamurai
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    103 months ago

    It’s better than it used to be.

    Very southern here too, mountain region, smallish town.

    The local school system is 100% about protecting trans kids, thank whatever gods might answer. Zero tolerance policy for even verbal violence, and strong responses to harassment or social attacks.

    The school my kid goes to in particular has a trans staff member, and displays the gamut of flags in the guidance offices. The guidance staff in particular bust their asses to keep students on track and being as restrained as you can get the savages we call teenagers. There’s a bible club, but there’s a policy to avoid any anti-anything subject matter, and there’s an active (if small) lgbtq club.

    Compared to when I was growing up in the eighties? Holy fuck are things better.

    But I’ve still had to raise hell a few times at adults outside of school. You still get shitty jokes and snide comments made when people assume you’re going to either just not say anything or agree. The ones that just assume you’re going to agree with whatever bigotry they spew are the worst, but they’re slowly learning to at least keep their mouths shut if they can’t say something nice.

    But that’s still a big change from seeing a trans woman get literally laughed out of a store not twenty years ago. There’s enough allies now that will stand up that that kind of bullshit won’t end well for the person pulling it.

    It ain’t perfect, and it ain’t great, but it gives me hope that time will show the better parts of humanity here and elsewhere.

    Btw, just as a view into the culture from another angle, as small as this town is, there’s a pink pistols club, and one of the ranges happily hosts them for the monthly shoots, including when they have a “welcome home” shoot for trans folks. May seem strange to anyone not in the south, or part of the various “armed queer” movements, but there’s a sizable amount of shooters vpn the lgbtq community here.

    And it actually does help mitigate some of the assholes because there’s that point of connection that helps bridge between the nore conservative sorts that aren’t full on right wing, which leads to a cushion where they end up being accidental allies via speaking the truth about their experience “shootin with the gays”.

    That quote, btw, is from my uncle, who says he “Don’t mind it a’tall, them gay boys just shoots like anybody, and ain’t afeared to borry you some ammo.” Mind you, he calls anyone that isn’t a lesbian, including trans people of both primary genders “gay boys”. He’s trying lol.

    • cowboycrustation [he/him]OPM
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      73 months ago

      Wow. That sounds like a decent place to be. There are definitely pockets like that in the south, but it feels like they’re getting rarer nowadays. I reckon yours is a state with no don’t say gay laws for public schools. I wish more places could be like that everywhere around here…queer kids are really suffering. Are there a lot of queer people in your town?

      I could totally see the pink pistols being a thing everywhere around here if people would have some sense. Us southerners are a strange folk 😅

  • @knightly@pawb.social
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    103 months ago

    I didn’t feel safe to start my transition until I was able to escape Texas. I’m in Colorado now and it’s a night-and-day difference.

    • cowboycrustation [he/him]OPM
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      73 months ago

      Glad you were able to get out of Texas. I’ve heard the situation’s pretty shitty there.

      • @knightly@pawb.social
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        63 months ago

        Likewise! I’m enby, and Texas made it feel like I’d never be able to qualify for hormone therapy because I’m not a binary trans woman. But they do it by informed consent up here in CO and even after half a year on HRT I’m getting fewer hostile glances around my relatively conservative neighborhood than I ever did back in Houston. =D

  • Resol van Lemmy
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    63 months ago

    Sadly, everything LGBT related in my country is illegal and heavily frowned upon, especially being trans.

    I remember hearing about a trans woman being beat up in a taxi (I forgot which city it happened in), and everyone was cheering.

    Other than that, they basically refuse to acknowledge your new gender and insist that it’s whatever was assigned to you at birth.

    And there is no support for the trans community (or even the broader LGBT community) at all in my country. Not even a little bit.

    This is just one reason among dozens, why I hate Morocco.

    • cowboycrustation [he/him]OPM
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      3 months ago

      That’s a really shitty situation to be in. I’m sorry you’ve had to navigate such a queerphobic culture. I hope that you’ll be able to move somewhere better someday. Hang in there. Things will get better. The fight isn’t over for us.

      Sending you love from across the ocean

      🩵🩵🩷🩷🤍🤍🩷🩷🩵🩵

      • Resol van Lemmy
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        53 months ago

        Thanks. I’m not trans, but it’s still sad to see people suffering like this.

        • cowboycrustation [he/him]OPM
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          33 months ago

          Yeah, and it hurts everyone when a society is queerphobic like that. People are more afraid to deviate from strict gender norms and express themselves.

          • Resol van Lemmy
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            23 months ago

            That’s why I have plans of moving out, but it’s really hard due to the visa restrictions imposed on us.

            Also xenophobia. That’s another problem some people might face.

  • @Borger
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    53 months ago

    I grew up in a country where gay and trans rights do not exist and where people in those communities are heavily ostracised and treated like they’re crazy. No legal recognition, no means of transitioning, no posting about it on social media, nothing

    I moved to the UK nearly 8 years ago to start living my life, and the UK is… well. I’ll start off by saying that it’s infinitely better about trans people than where I come from. But I don’t think it’s good about trans people on the whole.

    ‘Legal’ transition only matters for the terms you are referred to in legal documentation around marriage/parenthood, and whether or not you need to tell the tax body your AGAB. A name change (which includes your title) is trivial. To fix the other stuff, you have to get letters from doctors and fill out a form and pay a fee and wait a while for some mysterious council to decide if you’re trans enough. I think most people don’t bother.

    Medical transition is very inaccessible, and I suspect I’m privileged in that I got through the waitlist back when it was a few years for an appointment, and not basically indefinite. Doctors agreeing to actually prescribe your HRT after that entire dance is hit or miss, although the majority would continue to prescribe patient who has already been on it for a while, in my experience anyway.

    The UK is also a bit insane on anti-trans media. That’s the only thing I didn’t have to deal with back home, lol (because trans people are not recognised or talked about) I can’t see a reason for being under the media’s crosshairs than being an easy scapegoat for the ruling political party to distract voters from real systemic issues that actually need fixing.

    • @LainTrain@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      13 months ago

      Literally my xp. I’m from Russia so I feel I should be grateful how lucky I am, and I am, but the UK is not unlike it in the trans way really, just a bit behind on the same sort of regressive rhetoric

  • TGhost [She/Her]
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    3 months ago

    Well, i have two, both badly 😂

    “Gen z” s doing the change though for one of them. 😅😃😊

    Not z lawl

    • cowboycrustation [he/him]OPM
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      23 months ago

      That sucks. Sorry that you’ve been forced to navigate transphobic cultures. I’m glad you were able to make it this far.