I tried to sign up for Instagram to check it out. Here’s my experience of attempting to sign up:

• I gave my email address and date of birth.
• I chose a password.
• I chose a usernam–
• Upon typing the first character of my chosen username, I saw an error message: “An error has occurred. Please refresh the page.”
• I refreshed the page.
• “Your account has been suspended as you have breached our Community Guidelines. Please complete the information below to have the matter reviewed.”
• I gave my email address (again).
• I checked my email and click the link they sent me.
• I gave my phone number.
• I checked my SMS and provide the code they sent me.
• I was asked to take a “Verification Selfie”. You have to write your name, your username, and a six-digit number they give you “on a clean piece of paper” and hold it up. Your hand and face must be visible in the photo. It’s not entirely clear what they want to verify this picture against. Or what username you’re supposed to use, because, again, this whole thing started when I’d typed an “a”.

And at that point I realised I wasn’t welcome on Instagram.