Just having a chill conversation with someone online.
They tell me that they’ve had their heart broken in the past and they’re very sensitive.
mfw I had no idea this was a date is this person completely bonkers
that’s okay, I’ll be nice to you!
This you? 🧐
I would absolutely say something like that while freaking out - even though this is online and I’m not in any danger
Because men don’t have a strong enough social support system to have cathartic talks about their emotions. Because women aren’t willing to disproportionately shoulder emotional labor anymore.
The patriarchy hurts everyone. Normalize discussing mental health among men. Don’t let stigma stop you from telling your friends from how much they mean to you and how you’re here if they need to talk.
Don’t let stigma stop you
Fully recognizing that my initial reaction to the word “stigma” makes me part of the problem.
stigma love and compassion into this relationship lmao gottem
Why is there always an assumption that women have support? Also, you really shouldn’t trauma dump on your friends either - they won’t be able to give you space and it may affect them emotionally. Go to a support group and share there.
My (presumably) man, get better friends. If I can make a friend of mine feel better by listening to him, why wouldn’t I? I may not know what to say, but I would try my best. The saddest (on an inter-personal level, not as in “the world is going to shit”) thing I experienced recently was a friend of mine basically disappearing because of mental health issues. I think I understand why he did that, comparing yourself to others sucks, but I wish I could help him more than the occasional “hey, how are you doing?” when we randomly meet somewhere.
There wasn’t. I never said every woman always has support. I only said that men struggle with vocalizing mental health needs among their friends.
If talking to your friends about trauma at the appropriate stage in your friendship is considered trauma dumping, I’m sorry to say that I’m afraid you don’t have close friends.
That, or you’re coddling and patronizing your friends for lacking the emotional maturity to handle deeper conversations.
True friendship comes from being comfortable with your vulnerabilities around your friends, and having each other’s backs. A support group isn’t a substitute because it’s premise is transactional in nature, where you are expected to talk about and listen to trauma without attachment.
Too much crazy too fast. You gotta sit on that shit for a while, and then let it out slowly.
I got to “she has to go to bed” before I realised that this was all the same day.
Trauma dumping can be cathartic but perhaps maybe don’t do it within the first two hours of having met someone. Also don’t do it too much because your problems aren’t there problems.
It’s definitely a third date or beyond activity. When I was single, I always asked third dates to compare their emotional baggage with me, but wouldn’t discuss it in depth until later. We all have it, so might as well bring it out but not all of it at once. Better to savor the pain.
Not being genuine is also bad you know.
I guess wait until the afternoon or something then?
Unsolicited “good morning message” - is that what it’s called now?
Never have I ever met someone real-life online 🍻
That’s because online people aren’t real. All paid actors and bots (sometimes both).
Even the dogs are FBI agents
ActorTron 5000
Well that’s what 3D printers are for.
Those two worlds must not collide.
I did. Went hiking with a guy I met in an online game that turned out to live nearby. Pretty nice dude, I have to do that again some day.
The thing is, you never know. FBI agent? Serial murderer? Normal person?
NGL I do not miss keeping up with that shit. Its such a drag. Yet somehow waking up and saying good morning to someone is the shit.
Sometimes you gotta remember that everyone has their own shit going on, and it’s a bit self-centered to assume, every time, that it has to do with you. Especially when it comes to online dating.
Just get used to rejection, until you become enlightened enough to realize that life is suffering and you only have value insofar as how useful/reliable to others you are.
Anyone telling you otherwise is stunting your growth.
This sounds like less of a truth and more like you are lashing out. Are you OK man?
Not only that, but the upvotes. So at least 4 people agree. Are you all ok?
It’s a Buddhist misquote, it should read “there is suffering in life” but it’s often interpreted as “life is suffering.”
The intent is to express that our own desires and material wants are often the root causes of our suffering and if we can begin to understand that we can begin to free ourselves from the suffering that occurs in this existence.
But it does sound nihilistic as fuck on its own.
See that makes way more sense, but I’m rereading the original comment and I’m still not getting that. I’m guessing Buddha didn’t say “you only have value insofar as how useful/reliable to others you are”
Edit: I guess this is kinda similar. I don’t think I like the word “useful”. I prefer the below phrasing
The value of life is not based on how long we live, but how much we contribute to others
in our society.
or excusing poor behavior because of past pain. we’re all responsible for our own actions.
Bro has been hurt
homie needs to learn about talking to people in real life.
seems like you dodged a bullet?
The perils of being too online.
Maybe they only did that to hurt you. They bait you with a fake relationship.
Being at the stage where you assume everyone being nice to you is just setting you up for more pain sucks.
