About a year ago I had surgery with Dr. Celtik and figured I should write an update post. Previous posts One, Two, Three, Four
Recovery
Surgery-wise everything has healed well, no real complications, day to day and sexual functionality appear to be working as expected! I do pee weirdly far forward and a little to the left but other than that I’ve got no other complaints. Even then it’s so minor I’m not pursuing any corrections in the foreseeable future.
I was able to start scaling up my usual activity levels relatively quickly. About the 3 month mark I was walking normally which for me is regular 5+ mile walks. After that I started resuming more strenuous activity. I’ve been biking more than I have in a lot of years. I think I was at 4 or 5 months before I was really comfortable biking and I’ve just been pushing my capacity ever since. Rock climbing I got almost to where I was before surgery after about 6 months and getting that last 10% has taken me another 6 months. I’m just recently getting to where I was before and feeling like I can start setting new all time bars again.
Dilating
I have not been dilating as much as I should be but so far that hasn’t caused any major problems. I don’t remember exactly when I switched to dilating once a day I want to say maybe the 6 month mark? Some time in the 9ish month mark I ended up going to every other day. Recently I’ve only been dilating once sometimes twice a week and I think I’ve lost about a cm or so of depth. It’s measurable but I’m not concerned unless it continues to lose more depth.
When I was dilating at least once a day I could get to depth immediately, there wasn’t a lot of extra peritoneal fluid, most the fluid I had was just leftover lube from previous dilating. Dilating once a week it takes 10-20 minutes to get to depth, there isn’t much peritoneal fluid in between dilating days but after dilating I’ll leak quite a bit for a day or two, and the fluid is mostly peritoneal with some lube.
Insurance
This has been a constant battle and I’m looking into getting lawyers involved soon. Because there’s a good chance this goes legal I don’t want to publicly talk about it much. I’ve talked about it some in my previous posts and the situation has not gotten better.
My Life is a Sitcom
Not directly related to surgery and recovery but maybe some context for how my life has impacted things. I’ve gone through several long term breakups including a divorce, the person I’ve been living with for the last year has been there for me through everything but it’s been emotionally difficult for me in a lot of ways, I hooked up with an ex to give the new bits a test drive, I’ve had burnout at work for ages, I’ve been navigating a move to another country (hopefully able to flee the US in 2-3 months!), I’ve taken up going to a local sex club, I’m still somehow alcohol free, picked up smoking too much weed again though. My year, wtf you all, my year has been full throttle, I want to get off Mr Bones’ Wild Ride.
The Sex Stuff
I know why you're all here
I’ve only had sex once since surgery. I’ve been dealing with a lot of emotional trauma and poor mental health caused by the timing and the way all my relationships ended. Generally I have not felt comfortable trusting my body with anyone. Truthfully I don’t even masturbate that much because of all this as well.
Knowing that I have limited experience, everything seems to work fine. My clit is converted head tissue and can be used to have orgasms similar to ones I had before. I don’t exactly understand it but it’s connected in through nerves in the mons pubis. This means while the main sensation is from the end of the clit I actually have a lot of extra sensation above it as well. The total area that can be used for clitoral stimulation is nearly two inches long because of it. When I’m aroused I get a little clit boner and a feeling of pressure.
My prostate is a g-spot analogue and it works well for the same types of orgasms I could get with anal before. Internally, other than the prostate, I don’t feel a whole lot of specific sensation but there is a general ‘fullness’ sensation which is pretty great. Deep enough penetration will hit the back wall causing a difficult to describe feeling. It’s sharper and can feel good but if I’m not expecting it sometimes it is painful.
Outer labia is where most of the noticeable scarring would have been if I had much. They don’t have much sensation. Whatever I’ve been equipped with gives me camel toe 9000 though which is pretty amusing. Inner labia are partially constructed with penile head tissue as well for increased sensation but honestly they aren’t particularly sensitive. I’d say it’s more bonus overall stimulation than something I can work with specifically.
I sorta self lubricate but it’s not really accurate to call it ‘lubrication’. I constantly produce small amounts of peritoneal fluid. Seems to generally stay contained except as noted above about dilation timing. If I’ve been dilating often or if I’ve dilated recently then the leftover lube stays hydrated by the peritoneal fluid. At any given time I have about a 50/50 if I can be slowly fingered without additional lube but anything thrusty needs actual lube. Clitoral orgasms cause prostate fluid to come out my urethra which can temporarily be used as lube for inserting fingers or a small toy but again it won’t last well enough for anything thrusty.
I was told that I feel as expected for a cis vagina but tighter. My g spot analogue is apparently in about the same spot as expected as well. Something to note is that the lube that works best for me for dilating apparently has an odd flavor. So I’m in the process of finding a new lube that both works for dilating and passes a taste test.
Body Euphoria :3
I can sleep naked now and not have to worry about the bits flopping around. Weirdly specific but the sound water in the shower makes used to make me dysphoric as it ramped off my body and sounded like I was peeing but now the water quietly flows down my legs and I can actually shower without massively dissociating. Clothes and my favorite underwear fit better now. I am happy in a swimsuit. I haven’t had the chance to big spoon yet but I’m really looking forward to being able to press my entire body up against someone without having to recoil my hips. Climbing is easier for me. There’s been so much weight on my mind that I stopped registering anything specific but now whenever I’m in a situation that used to trigger that weight I get specific conscious realizations that things are better.
The Weirdness
Riding a bike is a bit different now and if I angle it wrong it’s we’ll say awkward. I’ve experienced the joys of going to sleep after dilating and waking up in a puddle. I have yet to successfully pee in a cup for urine tests and the last time I tried I somehow managed to pee on the floor (and hands and arms and legs and feet and outside of the cup and pretty much half the damn bathroom) despite sitting on a toilet. Some days I have to change underwear several times. Queefing feels weird. Farting and having it travel forward feels weird. Being all lubey, farting, and having it travel forward can sound like a pants-changingly wet fart and it’s weird. I can no longer hold my pee indefinitely so I need to make sure I actually pay attention to my body because it’s easier to accidentally pee myself a little. At least being off spiro means I don’t have to pee as often.
Weirdly specific but the sound water in the shower makes used to make me dysphoric as it ramped off my body and sounded like I was peeing but now the water quietly flows down my legs and I can actually shower without massively dissociating.
I did not even realize this bothered me until reading this xD
Rip, my bad 😭
Thank you for sharing your experience <3
Yeah this is more or less what I’m hoping to one day get. It all sounds so very affirming, even the peeing yourself easier part haha :P
Best of luck with the insurance situation, btw
Yeah the first time I peed myself I was doing dishes trying to finish up the last few while holding it in. I didn’t even have to pee painfully badly or anything it was a pretty standard amount of pushing it I used to be able to do. There wasn’t really any warning or anything it just sorta happened and I wasn’t even sure that’s what was going on until I checked. I think I’ve almost dialed in what my holding it limit feels like but I still mess up on occasion
