EVERYWHERE—As the influence of the nation’s transgender individuals continues to encroach on the freedoms of the U.S. populace, sources confirmed Tuesday that increasingly powerful trans person Tori Randall is now capable of using every single bathroom in the country at once. “Tori has become so trans that she can enter every single bathroom in the continental United States simultaneously, and there’s absolutely nothing anyone can do to stop her,” said Cincinnati city officials in a statement echoed by officials in thousands of other towns and cities across the nation, where every single stall in both public and private bathrooms is being currently occupied under the formidable capacities of the single trans individual. “This is what happens when there’s not enough legislation to keep transgender people out of our bathrooms. Now she’s in every women’s bathroom and every men’s bathroom. She’s in our bathroom and your bathroom. She’s in bathrooms in every country club even though she’s not a member; she’s in every stall at JFK Airport even though she doesn’t have a flight. Her piss and shit are at this very moment traveling down the drains of every single bathroom at every single billionaire’s gated mansion, and there are billions of U.S. toilets all flushing at once. She doesn’t need the code at Starbucks. She can travel through bathroom walls. Soon, as the trans community becomes increasingly confident in its omnipotent abilities, we could see them all develop the capacity to bend the laws of space-time, at least as far as bathrooms are concerned. We should all be very, very afraid.” At press time, reports confirmed the trans person’s powers had only grown as she used every last drop of water in the Northern Hemisphere to wash her hands.
  • altphoto@lemmy.todayEnglish
    5·
    2 days ago

    I remember having to use the girls restroom on a grayhound bus:

    I think its the same as the kids restroom, the old people’s restroom, and the gay, lesbian, trans, queer, bisexual, Asexual and the restroom for fat big butt people from Kentucky. Its a weird feeling because when you’re in there doing your business there’s no one there with you. I though there would be at least someone asking me if I had a vagina or testicles. But no.

  • aeronmelon@lemmy.worldEnglish
    60·
    3 days ago

    This is going to shock some people, but EVERYONE can use EVERY restroom and toilet right now. The only thing holding us back is outmoded social expectations.

    • i_dont_want_toEnglish
      26·
      3 days ago

      I’m AFAB and no one has ever said anything when I went to the men’s room. Got a lot of weird looks. The men’s room is so quiet, save for the unabashed shitting going on in there. The ladies tend to wait until they’re alone before they drop a deuce.

      • SoleInvictusEnglish
        14·
        3 days ago

        I’m AMAB, non-binary but decidedly male presenting, and I’ve received some comments but no direct confrontation for using individual restrooms labeled as “women’s” at public parks. If there’s a single occupancy men’s room and an equally private, single occupancy room with an arbitrary “women’s” designation, I’m going to use either.

      • MisterFrog@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        2 days ago

        The ladies tend to wait until they’re alone before they drop a deuce.

        They what? (What country is this?)

        That sounds like you’ll never be able to go 😅

        To be fair, I’ve not been in the ladies toilets (Australia), so can’t really comment on the state of things there.

        I will say one thing, the number of times I have to wipe down a seat with piss on it on the men’s toilets is ridiculous. Fucking a lot dirty bastards out there, who honestly, I think have a screw loose.

        I get the line is long for the ladies sometimes, but you’re brave to venture to the men’s based solely on how dirty it often is.

      • Duamerthrax@lemmy.worldEnglish
        3·
        2 days ago

        It’s worse in Japan. They had to install white noise generators because the women were wasting water by leaving faucets running while they did their business.

    • frog_brawler@lemmy.worldEnglish
      9·
      3 days ago

      I think there’s some people that will continue to have problems with using urinals. Maybe not, but probably…

      • aeronmelon@lemmy.worldEnglish
        15·
        3 days ago

        Yeah… like me. And they were built with my anatomy in mind.

        Urinals will never be real toilets to me because they don’t accommodate all forms of relieving one’s self.

        I’m also not crazy about squat toilets, but that’s more of a personal preference.

        (PS, I’ve seen people with vaginas use a urinal. It’s a neat trick, but it highlights how needlessly exclusive they are.)

        • frog_brawler@lemmy.worldEnglish
          5·
          3 days ago

          (PS, I’ve seen people with vaginas use a urinal. It’s a neat trick, but it highlights how needlessly exclusive they are.)

          I remember watching some kind of healthy sex show on HBO probably 20 - 25 years ago, and there was a segment about how the Germans had created this folding cardboard urinal tool for vaginas to easily pee at the urinal. I thought it was pretty rad back then, but I haven’t kept up with if that thing still exists - due to a lack of personal need. I hope it does still exist. It needs more marketing. I’ve never seen a used cardboard personal piss-trough abandoned at any music festivals though so I think I’d likely be disappointed to hear the truth of the reality surrounding this.

          • oppy1984@lemm.eeEnglish
            9·
            3 days ago

            There’s a product called the shewee, same thing but it’s plastic or silicone and reusable. My ex wanted one since she always had to pee and it made lots of road trips uncomfortable for her, she also had knee issues so squatting was difficult. She was so excited to try it out she peed with the toilet seat up that night.

    • Carl@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      3·
      3 days ago

      Single person washrooms in Canada, are gender neutral. Even if you have a sign for a specified gender. And I don’t think anyone cares which one you use, as long as your not entering it for a sexual/perverted reason.

      Also, this is an onion post.

  • RedditIsDeddit@lemmy.worldEnglish
    16·
    2 days ago

    I really don’t understand why anyone gives a flying fuck about other peoples sexual identities. There’s so many things in the world that matter on a day to day basis… this is not one of them.

    • scoobford@lemmy.zipEnglish
      10·
      2 days ago

      I think it depends on the person. Some people treat it as a grift (I don’t believe trump actually gives a shit about trans people), others are suppressing something within themselves (whatever the hell Andrew Tate is doing), and some probably legitimately think the way other people live their lives is “incorrect”, like religious people.

      All of them have to be prevented from causing harm, but hating any of them is largely a waste of energy.

  • Apytele@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    44·
    3 days ago

    WITCHCRAFT! THEY’RE DOING WITCHCRAFT!

    RETRO SATANA, TOTO OPERE ASPER!
    ORO TE PATER, ORO TE PATER, SANAS!
    O PATER, ORES PRO AETATE NOSTRA!
    ORA, OPERARE, OSTENTA TE PASTOR!

    (sorry I’ve just been reading up a bunch on ancient coptic / christian ritual magic; it’s fascinating, and the fact that most modern christians don’t realize that their religion is fundamentally rooted in syncretic magic traditions that coalesced into an apocalyptic death / martyr cult is WILD)

      • Apytele@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        12·
        3 days ago

        I’m just going to add to this existing comment about how this topic really grew to be such a big part of my life right now. The specific comments on further reading are down at the bottom in bullet points.

  • PunkRockSportsFan@fanaticus.socialEnglish
    8·
    2 days ago

    Religious perverts have screwed up everyone.

    Now there’s people who are gay who hate themselves so they hate anyone who’s gay and not ashamed.

    I imagine it’s the same about trans folks who have been groomed into a religion. They know they are in the wrong body but are conditioned to feel shame for how they were made.

    • Stalinwolf@lemmy.caEnglish
      15·
      3 days ago

      She has the look of a mom who is also a sister, but also the sister of someone’s mom.

  • oyzmo@lemmy.worldEnglish
    11·
    3 days ago

    Just replace the person symbol on the door with the letters WC - problem solved 🤓

  • slacktoid@lemmy.mlEnglish
    14·
    3 days ago

    Checks out I just found Tori Randall in my bathroom too!! She’s too powerful!!