I’m always more concerned by the 30% of humans that don’t think they could take a rat more than the delusional people myself.
They might be assuming you get weapons or whatever, but 30% of people don’t even have to self confidence to just flop around on the ground for a bit.
Chimpanzee is way too high Jesus Christ. It goes from reasonable shot at winning but succumbing to your wounds later to 20x stronger than you and smart enough to go for the sharp bits
Yeah, my first thought was that a king cobra should be higher than chimpanzee. Not because king cobras would necessarily be easy, but because it would be possible.
Beating a chimp would depend on whether a human hit to its head could knock it out or at least stun it, as well as getting such a blow in immediately at the start. But my guess is that their skulls are built differently enough that such a hit would just motivate it more.
If people knew more about chimpanzees, they’d be right down there with bears and elephants. I would 100% prefer to take on a wolf or a kangaroo, taking Aussies at their word about how insane roos are, over a chimp. The chimp probably has just as high a K/D as the bear or elephant, but it’s going to teabag you while wearing the face it ripped off your skull before you go out.
Kangaroos do this move where they try to kick the balls off their male opponents. No thanks.
Still better than a chimp
have you seen their nails? their kick can easily disembowel you.
Or disemball you in this instance.
I have. It’s terrifying.
At the same time people also murder the fuck out of chimps with fairly primitive tools and have for a long time, what chimps really got on us is that crazy murder energy that you only really see in humans with the aid of PCP. Wouldn’t wanna fight one but in theory its about equivelent to fighting an unbelivably pissed off human.
No wonder the Brits lost the 13 Colonies, mfs can’t even take a goose.
This is one of those moments when you can immediately identify who has and who has not regularly interacted with the animal in question
I know right, do geese not exist in England? Or do they have special English geese that weigh 50 pounds and lack wringable necks?
this is kinda like mocking Aussie magpies because you only know UK magpies.
Geese in the UK are all the giant cunt species
A goose is a gangster swan, and everyone knows that they break arms.
Swans are meaner than geese by far. You don’t wanna be anywhere within sight of a swan.
Drop those bars!
A goose will back off of you give it a boot to the chest. I’ve fought off a couple of geese and a goose-sized duck and a chest-kick is the best move. Works best of you are able to wind up and use the side of your foot like you’re trying to score a sweet goal in soccer, but a regular punt gets the job done too.
A kick or a stick is all anyone needs!
Would enjoy watching some tough guys try and fight anything from chimp on down.
“Yeah, bro, I can totally fkn take an elephant!”
Why do 5-10% of Americans think they can beat a Gorilla Lion Elephant or Grizzly Bear? Note beat in a fight as in engage successfully in combat. What do they think you are even going to do vs the Grizzly or elephant again?
Also chimps should be way further down on that list. You’d have a better chance against the wolf.
americans are just tougher thats why 🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲
That’s over 2 terabytes of adults! That’s a lot!
I mean I’ve been thinking about how to fight geese for a long long time now. I’ve got grudges.
Think Mario 64 bowser fights, only you grab the goose by the neck instead of the tail. Though that is to fight for a draw.
Don’t stick your neck out; I promise it’s not good for the gander
Sure, us Americans are obviously delusional, but can we talk about the fact that almost half of all brits think they would lose to a goose? They’re 20 pounds, have no teeth or claws, and their bones are hollow. Have a little confidence, guys, I’m sure you can take poultry in a fight.
And the fight would be harder than against a cat.
Wtf are those people smoking? Have they ever seen a domesticated cat in severe distress??
I would rather fight any bird than a cat.
I generally agree, but maybe not all birds:
Cats have FIVE pointy ends and an extremely powerful will to live.
Actually, this does explain why all those brits in Untitled Goose Game let the goose walk all over them.
Less than 80% of people think they could take on a rat in a life or death battle. You could literally pass out and fall on it and probably crit it.
But if you miss you wake up with no face
Not everyone is a 15-55 year old able bodied person.
A good chunk of the population is disabled and mobility impaired. Large swaths of the population are elderly.
Geese are terrifying though
If you know you will fight it, might as well just go for it and grab it’s neck or something
Almost half of Brits might not be as able-bodied as you might imagine.
I’m more interested in the rat fight, because I had my fair share of mouse encounters and rats are bigger, more dangerous and just as quick.
I mean, Americans have huge obesity rates, but apparently, nearly 20% of us think we can take a chimp. I’m sure a rat couldn’t kill me, but I have no idea how I would catch one with my bare hands, so that feels like a draw to me.
Might be easier to catch if its literally gnawing at you and attacking you.
I think of it more for the rat, that if it wants to it’ll fuck me up, but I’m more likely to kill it before it kills me.
They may not technically have teeth but they have a serrated beak.
MARIO STOMP!
TIL 10% of Americans would beat an elephant in a fist fight.
It doesn’t say fist fight it says fight. An mg42 some ammo a and a bit of distance are going to win against almost any animal hence the whole multiple extinction events directly caused by predation by humanity.
It’s right there on the top of the graph.
“Which of the following animals, if any, do you think you could beat in a fight if you were unarmed?”
It would be difficult to fight anything without arms. I guess you could just do roundhouse kicks but arms would be much more useful.
Thats why the brits have an advantage, all that.soccer helps their kick attacks.
Americans obviously overrate themselves by what ever percent they think they can beat an elephant, bear, or gorrila.
Correct, my whole point is it’s vague enough to take advantage of so it’s not actually indicative of much aside from malicious compliance.
I feel like unarmed is not vague enough to allow for machine guns lol
“if you were unarmed”
I’m unarmed, the fellas i hire may not be but that isn’t the question.
You were super fun on the playground I’m sure
Gotta play the grey. I could beat them in a fight by hiring a mercenary or team of mercenaries.
I’m still unarmed, I could even be involved in the fight and still not be armed and win the fight.
Similarly the definition of unarmed varies wildly by culture and language so first let’s define unarmed and then we can decide how and where to play the language of the question.
Unarmed fight.
Yeah that doesn’t say I can’t hire someone who is not does it say I can’t get 30000 unarmed dudes to help. It’s vague so why not play the game I’m fairly sure that’s likely why the answers look so weird.
Emus would like a word with you.
They lost the emu war was lost because of incompetence. They had a machine gun they didn’t know how to use which jammed and they couldnt figure out how to clear it and then they just gave up until the next incompetent attempt.
the dogs you have to worry about is the ones that are known to bite or aggresive.
Right, don’t fuck around with Dachshunds…
chimpanzee would rip you the fuck apart, more than a gorilla
Yeah, a chimpanzee will straight up rip your arms off and beat you to death with them. They have zero chill, and a massive proportion of fast-twitch muscle (which means they can create huge bursts of strength, but struggle with fine motor control.)
How do people think they can defeat a goose? They’re one of the meanest animals on the planet. They’re up there with wolverines and opossums.
Bruh they weigh like 15 lbs and their neck is long and poorly protected. If you can’t beat a goose in a fight there’s something wrong with you lol. Sure it might be hard to catch but it’s not like a single goose is going to take you down Shadow of Colossus style by skillfully dodging all your attacks while it goes after your weak points and once you get ahold of a goose it’s dead.
It’s easy. Grab the neck behind the head, spin, and throw. The goose figures out not to attack the 150+ pound ape after that. Not all the apes though, just the one that threw the thing.
Have you ever seen geese fight? They’re vicious.
That’s the technique I have successfully used on no less than 4 different occasions. Yes, they bat at me with their wings, but if you are fast enough to neutralize the head, the bird only weighs 20-25 pounds. At that point inertia takes over, and you can practice your Olympic “hammer throw” technique
Fair. I’ve never personally fought a goose, but I’ve seen them fight each other. It’s brutal.
I have wrangled several chickens, but they’re among the dumbest animals on the planet.
You pretty much just grab it and do whatever you want from there
Geese are mean and scary, but that doesn’t make them deadly. Unless they get a super lucky shot on a major artery they can’t kill you. You might end up with some deep scratches but I don’t think a goose could even break anything more than your hand. If it’s a fight to the death at the end of the day you can just run at the goose and tackle it, sacrificing your face and legs and arms to some really bad scratches.
Common and Virginia possums are timid and will hiss or faint if they’re confronted and can’t run away.
What kind of possum is mean?
I don’t want to be gross, but when I was a kid, my dad was bringing me home from Little League and there was an opposum in the driveway. My dad ran it over with his car, and later on that thing got up and walked away. I count winning in a fight means to the death, and those things don’t die.
Chill man, lol! it doesn’t say to fight to the death, there are other ways to determine the victory of a fight!
I mean, I thought that’s what this chart was about. I don’t want to ever kill any animal. My comments were purely based on theory.
Right lol. I was gonna say I get comparing geese and wolverines, they’re both known for high levels of aggression, but opposums are known for remaining so still you think they’re dead lmao it’s almost the exact opposite!
I’ve played enough RPGs to know you can lose to a rat, even with a sword and armor equipped
Still remember my nuclear submarine being sunk by a bunch of biremes in Rise
isof Nations
I’m good down to Eagle, and then it’s straight losses.
Eagles can be huge, fly and have fuckin razor sharp meat hooks for fingers.
The challenge is to win, not walk away unscathed.
