to clarify, the only person’s opinion of you you should truly care about is your own, it is valuable to consider others, but you decide for yourself and only you.
to clarify, the only person’s opinion of you you should truly care about is your own, it is valuable to consider others, but you decide for yourself and only you.
That an opinion is stated by an entity does not make the opinion valid by itself.
It is possible that an entity can state a valid opinion.
Thus opinions should be evaluated by their reasoning and not by the entity formulating it.
Sorry but I feel like yapping about this so…
I’d say you are trying to reason against a factual point made in the post. For that your fist step is to remove as much (social) context from the hypothetical as possible by referring to an abstract entity and opinion. And to be honest, your factual reasoning is impeccably, logically true. But are you sure anyone was having this debate with you in the first place? Not to discredit you, but your three step argument here is as succinct as it is obvious (at least to me). I disagree not with your argument, but your choice to engage with the original statement as a factual debate point. There’s a chance the OP had intended to communicate a very different message than all men’s opinions on oneself being always irrelevant. Removing context to only engage with the factual dimension of their statement deprives you of a chance to learn more about the OPs and the communities intentions and values. Much like past public conversations (remember gamer gate, or more recently the hypothetical of the bear vs man) I personally believe the point of hyperbolic feminist statements is not for you to debate them, or push back against them, but to understand them. After all, saying essentially “not all men” is factually true and very easy, but doesn’t actually help anyone/improve anything. I wonder what kind of social interactions would lead to OP posting this (and this community identifying with it)? Perhaps a systemic patriarchy could put unjust pressure on a person to push them into a very understandably unnuanced response to such mistreatment. Either way I gain much more insight by empathizing with the post. Arguing factually would feel like punching ghosts while wasting energy that could be used to improve society a little.
I know that for me anyway, I read similar opinions when I was a young man and felt unfairly discriminated. But to be honest, looking back, I was never entitled to women who had suffered much worse under the patriarchy expertly lecturing me in my relative privilege (and all that without hurting my feelings). Like sure, me feeling unfairly judged for my gender whenever I misunderstood such a post as an attack on me personally was unfair too, but simply not the point, nor a priority here. If I could travel back in time to give some advice and emotional support to the young me, I’d rather find someone else who needs it way more to give it to. Nowadays I like to consider words not just for what they communicate, but also for what they do. And if this post helped someone vent who really needed it and gave a relatable outlet to this community than all I have to do is recognize it for the mutual support it is. I’m writing this because hearing it earlier would have saved me much frustration fighting imaginary misandrist feminists and because I’m also still just figuring much of this out myself.
It is unlikely that an entity’s unsolicited opinion of me is warranted or deserves my evaluation
But not impossible.
I don’t even need to consider their opinion because it was unwarranted. Expecting women to consider every unwanted piece of advice is cruel because too many of them are worthless.
Unless the negative statement is about how another person creates actual problems for you, don’t give it. As a rule, any opinions that don’t qualify should be ignored.
I expect every person to consider every other persons opinion. Well, not really expecting, but I think it would make life better for everybody.
And I think you are right that it would be cruel to expect that just from women.
But that is not a one-way-street. People who give an opinion have the duty to give an opinion that is helpful and comes from a good place and not just bullying.
You would not do well against fascists. It’s not just them though, as anyone can abuse this expectation. People can easily voice unreasonable opinions just to fuck with others and/or waste their time. Don’t pay such voices any mind. Not every voice can be taken in good faith.
On top of that, people rarely want the opinions of others, as they’re often fully aware of what people point out. It just makes them feel ashamed when someone points out something they’re already aware of. When you get the urge to voice your opinion of others, think about why giving it matters to you. Do not “look out for” other people, as it feels patronizing when you try to claim you know what’s best for them. If it isn’t something that affects you, do not say it.