Eh… Weird, though that’s not new.

OCD likes to lie to me about whatever random nonsense it can, but I don’t really think my mind is lying right now about something in particular and I probably need to sort some shit out. Nagging feelings that need to be addressed and getting all the ducks in a row and all that jazz.

I really didn’t want this year to be like last year (incessant appointments and random bullshit), but it seems it’s going that way again.

I would say I’m tired, but it’s become a cliché at this point, so I’ll lie and say I’m filled to the brim with energy and excitement. Bursting at the seams. Clark Kent in the yellow sun. Super.

For the past two years I’ve been communicating with the planning board of the next town over, regarding supplying plants for them to redo the municipal plantings with genetically diverse natives. With the forest service suspending the tree planting programs using IRA funds, I am unsure whether their project is going to move forward. Here’s hoping it does - we’re one of a number of small nurseries who would’ve been tapped (hah! tree pun) for the project.

In other news, our six month old is figuring out standing on her own by holding on to objects. I’d say more but I have to go clear everything off of everything 🙄

i’ve been too plugged-in to trump news. i’ve banned myself from my primary source of that unhappy chaos, and will get it from a news outlet instead which is much slower and less ragey

i’ve gotten into audiobooks again, and that has done a lot to lift my spirits. i’ve plowed through the lord of the rings and am now listening to the silmarillion. i’ve found the silmarillion difficult to read, but much more accessible as an audiobook - and it’s giving me a deeper appreciation of the lord of the rings

eucatastrophe, where art thou?

Going well. I have committed to a exercise regimen and its helped my stress levels.

I feel like I should be good. I dragged myself to D&D on Thursday and then speed dating on Saturday, met a lot of people and had fun.

But as soon as both ended, I just felt hollow. I haven’t texted anyone back because I don’t think I can do friendships/relationships.

The day of the speed dates I got into an argument with my best friend. I guess I misunderstood something he said so my response made no sense. I thought I was spilling my heart and he just said, “what the fuck are you talking about? How the fuck was that your takeaway?”

And the fight was my fault, I fucked up. I don’t think he was unfair. But I feel incoherent and annoying when we talk, and I don’t think I want to make any more friends.

I’m doing mostly alright. Seeing a lot of friends lately which is great.

I’ve started playing the new monster hunter which - contrary to what I expected based on the reviews - actually runs pretty decently.

Also I’m looking for some new books to read. Maybe it’s finally time to venture out of my comfort zone and start reading some of my wife’s books 🤔

Today would have been my 18th anniversary had my first wife not demanded a divorce in the middle of the rehab – on my 30th birthday – she’d already demanded as a condition for not getting a divorce. But at least the geopolitical situation is rosy.

What app are you using for note taking? Reading for fun or work?