I was kicked out of rentals multiple times for being visibly queer. I was scared out of some more by people who even moved after me, but made my life a living hell just for being queer. I was driven into near daily crying during highschool by my peers and sometimes even teachers. I was regularly spat on in public with no reaction from other people. I had a car full of tank top wearing men stop with the intention of beating me up when I was in middle school because they thought I looked too much like a “f*g”. To see people, some of whom apparently so privileged they don’t even experience systematic queerphobia as per own admission, claim us here aren’t queer is so hurtful because it feels like it dismisses my entire lifetime of queer pain. Sincere fuck you to the people who make those claims. Maybe you are the one who isn’t even queer and just sows discord amogus. trans-uno amogus

  • Tastysnack [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    I saw that comment while lurking.

    Ngl seeing the meltdown, raging chauvinism and ignorance around minority struggle/liberalism/weird NATO stanning over there kinda informed my decision to make an account here.

    I’ve tried a few trans spaces in the past both irl and online that I ended up leaving because of THAT energy.

    Besides you lot seem to be the most trans supportive instance (nobody is erasing people’s queerness here because they got confronted on their idiocy) and are actually politically/economically/historically literate.

    If I had a comically large newspaper I’d hit them with it is what I’m saying.

    Hello everyone 👋

    Hope you feel better soon OP meow-hug

    • motherfucker [they/them, she/her]@hexbear.net
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      Besides you lot seem to be the most trans supportive instance (nobody is erasing people’s queerness here because they got confronted on their idiocy)

      We had an early struggle session about whether or not it was okay to misgender Caitlyn Jenner for being a reactionary piece of shit. In true tankie fashion, dissenters were purged. trans-hammer-sickle (I’m an anarchist btw)

    • autismdragon [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      Yay new friend! Hoping that if defederation does happen some of the other cool people over there, however many they are, decide to make the same switch. Liberal queer people just depress me. I sort of get psychologically how one can get temporarily attached to the idea that the only salvation for queer people is the Democratic party (or whatever the equivalent in their country is). But the reality is, like i posted elsewhere, there is no queer liberation under capitalism. And NATO and neoimperliasm in general uphold the neoliberal capitalist world order.

      Welcome, comrade.

      • Tastysnack [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        Yeah I found myself getting genuinely quite upset to see the vitriol over there. I’ve lurked long enough to know half the accusations over there are abject lies.

        Yeah its tricky, its not like any of us are born with class consciousness and I know my journey out of liberalism was an awkward affair but even at my most lib-pilled moments I didn’t go round crying about “the tankies”.

        Lazy politics is in right now though and to confront the failings of our own systems is a bit of an existential crisis moment when you realise just how silly things really are.

        It’s understandable, just not acceptable anymore. I mean how can these people see the erasure of women and queer rights under the dems or (equivalent neoliberal party, looking at you Labour party) or any of the other insane transphobia coming out of the west and possibly think these people have their best interests at heart? Cognitive dissonance doesn’t even cut that level of sheer denial.

        Like didn’t the dems delay the gay marriage bill specifically till after the midterms to drum up support from the lgbtqi+ crowd or something? I can’t remember the specifics but like imagine thinking a party that weaponises your fucking rights to manufacture support is on your side.

        I’d tell these people to log off but I’ve seen them derail enough irl queer groups that honestly it’s nice to see them contained to a weird little Liberal echo chamber.

        Lmao sorry I’m venting now.

        Nice to meet you too comrade 🫡

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        same. i sometimes wonder if they never had anything bad happen to them and have a rose tinted view of the world, but obviously that isnt always true either. whats the point in trying to be nice to people that wanna rip your guts out?? ill never fathom it beyond calling it stockholm syndrome

        its also just… they believe this flowery shit that gets trans people killed in foreign countries. how do they not care?!

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          Most of them don’t realize it activly but subconciously they just want queer westerns to have the capitalist version of “equality” in whatever country they are from and for queer people to have their share of the plunder. In my experience with them its not actively, cognizant malicious but thats what drives it in the end.

          I do think part of it as well is being trapped in the Overton window, where the Democrats or whatever their country’s equivalent is are the only socially accepted method of liberating queer people. As has been commented before, thats what “The left” is. I mean I certainly believed that at one point. So they cling to that out of fear of the outright fascists and think that voting for left-liberals is the only way to stop them. Its a fear response, and tbh a sort of understandable one. But when your reaction to seeing a better path to TRUE liberation is to violently reject it and close your ears, my sympathy starts to stop.

          Probably an element of internalized assimilationism as well.

          • kristina [she/her]@hexbear.net
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            yeah ive always been a commie of some variety (and sometimes not describing myself as anything because i had a period of misanthropy where i hated everyone), so its a view that is extremely hard for me to understand

            • autismdragon [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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              I’m definitely an ex-liberal so I get the mindset to an extent but like, it didn’t take me very long after exposure to communism to accept it as better. Accepting anti-imperialism was a bit harder admittedly it took a few struggles but I got there.

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    Yeah it’s incredibly awful. Why the fuck would anyone say that?

    You think people here have been secretly pretending to be queer for THREE FUCKING YEARS just to infiltrate your new queer space? Come on. The left has been doing queer politics a hell of a lot longer than liberals have.

    Be gay. Do crime.

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    it also just straight up makes no sense. hexbear has had a queer majority long before federating with anyone. we were posting about being trans and gay for 3 years to trick who exactly?

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    It’s because none of these people seem to have ever seen an actual safe space in their lives.

    Of course “nobody” uses neopronouns in general society. We all know what would happen if we did. Shame, ridicule, and violence would follow. And we’re very attuned to reading online spaces for transphobia as well. Despite what a lot of people would like to think, many online queer spaces are NOT inclusive and safe.

    I was an old-school redditor, and I browsed the trans subs for a few months. I saw so much hatred there. The general spaces erased all identities that didn’t fit the “mtf” experience, so the trans men stayed away in their own space. Both their space and the general ones were OPENLY hateful of non-binary people for years.

    This is one of the first spaces I’ve ever seen online that is truly inclusive. The neopronoun options are already there, you don’t have to ask for them. Everyone is forced to show their pronouns, none of this “well mine are normal” garbage. There is a culture that promotes repressed voices.

    And when some people see this, they can’t even fathom it. To them, being “an ally” means allowing trans people to wear a pronoun pin and respecting those pronouns so long as they are “normal” enough, then carrying on with life as normal. If queer discussions ever start taking place in the open, they get uncomfortable because they’re not used to it. If someone who uses any pronoun besides they or she or he, they get uncomfortable. This is transphobia. They just don’t recognize it as such.

    • AcidSmiley [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      It’s because none of these people seem to have ever seen an actual safe space in their lives.

      Of course not, why would anybody let rabid transphobes wander into a safe space?

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    yea these claims are very malicious. their default assumption is that ‘this person is tankie therefore not LGBTQ+’.

    the default assumption should be to believe that the person is saying they’re gay in good faith.

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      Liberals don’t believe that communism can progress in its views. It’s why you have so many people baffled when they meet non white and non straight people who are communist, and pull out some historical figure or event from the 20th century that was bigoted as some gotcha. Of course, they’ll want you to believe that liberal democracy has always been accepting of racial minorities and LGBT people. I mean, after all, black and Hispanic people are praising Alexander Hamilton. How could they be racist? And no, they will not consider adopting Cuba’s constitution.

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    The entire “how can you have that many different pronouns” discourse is by far the dumbest thing i’ve seen since the start of our federation, and it isn’t just painfully cringe and ignorant and a clear sign that these people lack any and all experience with queer spaces unless you count r/196 and the trans category on pornhub, it is simply outright, open transphobia to deny peoples’ gender identity. That’s the very core of transphobic sentiment, to deny us our right to gendered self determination.

    It’s sad to see these reactionaries have now also extended their attacks to other parts of the queer community, but it isn’t surprising. These people always start with what they perceive to be the easy targets, but it’s part and parcel of reactionary persecution campaigns to expand the outgropups they go after. This, besides the moral imperative of solidarity, is the strategic reasoning behind “an injury to one of us is an injury to all of us.”

    We cannot tolerate such attacks on our queer comrades anywhere on lemmy. The perpetrators should be hunted down wherever we find them, and we should make it a cross-instance effort to make lemmy a safer space for queer people, and an extremely unsafe space for queerphobes of all kind. I propose that federated instances share blocklists of queerphobic users so that eventual bans can be extended to other instances preemptively. In a day and age were our community faces the worst attacks since the AIDS pandemic, we must look out for and protect each other.

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    It is extremely hurtful. I live in fear every day because of homophobia and hate crimes, yet I’m a fake gay because I don’t share the same beliefs as a westerner? What the hell?

    Do gays in the global south/third world not exist to them? Do I have to become some comparador for the west to be gay? Why would I even do that when South Africa legalised LGBT rights before any of the western nations they are from? Despite all our homophobia and bigotry, we still managed to legalise LGBT rights before them. How does this work. It sounds like they’re doing the whole LGBT is western decadence shit, but unironically.

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    My entire family disowned me after I came out. If I hadn’t already been working a pretty great job that allowed me to be fully self-sufficient I would’ve been homeless for sure. And in the time since, I’ve met some incredible people. I’ve loved and been loved by, helped and been helped by, and had my world enlarged and enriched by some of the most beautiful people in the world. Anyone who would think to negate that because I would like to see society improved somewhat is welcome to take a short jump into a deep mineshaft.

  • autismdragon [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism. There is no queer liberation under capitalism.

  • LeBron [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    Western ally behavior is so selfish. Once it gets uncomfortable for the “ally” or they have their beliefs challenged, queer people become much less human in their eyes and need to be discredited somehow.

    It makes me furious how few online spaces are truly safe for the community, don’t doubt that there are tons of cis comrades who see you as completely valid with no strings or nefarious bullshit attached.

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    I’m still a baby budding imposter feeling queer but fortunately I was also raised a cis het man so when someone tells me that I’m not queer I have the socialized energy to say “how dare you tell me what I’m not!”

    How dare anyone tell any of my comrades, queer, trans, or otherwise, what they aren’t. You are who you are whoever you are. You’re all heckin valid. We’re all heckin valid. Send those bad beans to me I’ll smash em if they tell you otherwise