• Trashboat
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    205
    ·
    edit-2
    1 month ago

    Never questioned this until about 15 seconds ago…

      • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        9
        ·
        1 month ago

        Once wrote a series of short stories about fantasy creatures living and working in a warehouse. My favorite were the weekending ghosts, who haunted a manor through the week, but took weekend trips to haunt the warehouse on Saturdays and Sundays to get a break from it all.

          • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            1 month ago

            Sadly not. Probably the best thing I’ve ever written. Several hundred pages. But they were written on old security log sheets (written as log entries while bored doing night shift security at a warehouse), and they ended up lost or destroyed when I moved. I’ve considered rewriting them, though.

              • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                3
                ·
                1 month ago

                Yep! Well, not mine. Owned by a massive German company. But I worked there for several years, and reported on the weirdness my coworker/friend and I experienced in a funny and lighthearted way. One of the reasons I don’t think I can recreate it, though, is that I have a terrible memory. I can recall the broad strokes (the freakishly large beetles, the weekend hauntings, et cetera, et cetera), but there were characters in it based on coworkers and clients and I don’t think I can recreate those anywhere near accurately.

            • null@slrpnk.net
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              3
              ·
              1 month ago

              The premise sounds fun, and apparently it’s informed by experience, so I hope you do!

              • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                3
                ·
                1 month ago

                It was a fun way to pass the night shift. I would do 2 or 3 twelve hour log sheets per shift, over the course of a few years. My favorite characters were the vampires who sat shiva for themselves, based on a concept from my 2005ish Myspace girlfriend. Lol. Every time they uncover the mirrors and there’s no reflection they start the process over.

  • Ken Oh@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    59
    ·
    1 month ago

    Circa 2008 the wikipedia entry for vampire bat claimed that their teeth were like this. archive.org didn’t capture it at that time, but another page copied the whole thing: https://www.mundoandino.com/Argentina/Vampire-bat

    The bats incisor teeth are hollow, allowing them to suck blood in through the teeth like a straw, the saliva has several ingredients that prolong bleeding.

    My favorite thing about this is: where does the blood go once it hits the top of the tooth? Into the gums? Into the sinuses? Out the back of the tooth and into the mouth, removing the need of a straw in the first place?

  • BluesF@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    58
    ·
    1 month ago

    I think there’s been a shift in media here over the years. Older vampires, the formalwear “I vant to suck your blaaaad” types, often have very long teeth and leave only a couple of punctures after biting someone. It’s pretty reasonable to assume these are actually drawing the blood through their teeth like little syringes.

    Then as time goes on, vampires have gotten grittier and gorier. We’ve gone from beautiful damsels with tiny pinpricks on their necks, to staight up cannibalism. Vampires now just fuckin eat people sometimes. Somewhere in between, we did get a phase of vampires biting open the neck with a big gush of blood, and the now classic image of a vampire with blood all over their lower face. At this point it’s clear they’re just drinking it normally.

    • 4lan@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      27
      ·
      1 month ago

      So vampires have become sloppier and more impatient. The new generations I swear /s

          • BluesF@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            1 month ago

            I’m confident that the “I want to suck your blood” line there is a reference. It’s an old misattributed quote from Bela Lugosi’s appearance as Dracula.

            • Snowclone@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              1 month ago

              In Reno in the 90s there was a real-estate company called Draculich Reality, they had signs in lawns a lot, and every time I saw one I immediately thought ‘‘I vant to sell your house!’’

  • Valmond@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    54
    ·
    1 month ago

    The Swedish radio show “Christer” called up the ambassador of Romania somewhere around 2014 (IIRC) to pop the question, and he confirmed the teeth were like straws.

    So there’s that!

  • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    37
    ·
    1 month ago

    In the vampire documentary “Dead and loving it” distinct straw-slurping sounds can be heard so I think this is indeed correct.

    However when I was a kid I totally thought vampire bats also do the sucky-sucky not the licky-licky they actually do.

    • Snowclone@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      1 month ago

      In the Billy and Mandy documents a elderly Blackula is incensed when he is accused of sucking blood, he elaborately explains that vampire bats, as well vampires don’t suck blood, they scrape and lick.

  • tyler@programming.dev
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    30
    ·
    1 month ago

    What made them change their mind? Pretty sure that’s always been part of the implication lol.

  • Apytele@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    27
    ·
    edit-2
    1 month ago

    When I was in middle school and first learned about gay men I thought one penis would have to open up somehow to accept the other penis as what I now know would be called sounding. Also knowing what I know now that would be pretty extreme even for sounding but I was a preteen fundie and had gotten all my sex ed from an anatomy and physiology book in the family library with 0 direction from any adult so in the absence of any better ideas that seemed like the most likely way that would work out. Anyway this is a great example of why puritans wind up so kinky; you have no idea what normal sex looks like so you just have to imagine it and sometimes the imagination comes up with some really weird shit and before you know it you’re having preteen wet dreams about stuff the human body doesn’t even do.

    • lars@lemmy.sdf.org
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      1 month ago

      I was like 9 before they told me procreation didn’t involve a woman’s belly button.

      • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        13
        ·
        1 month ago

        Docking is foreskin play, inserting something into the urethra would be a type of sounding.

        But if you can sound with an entire human cock, you’re doing something pretty extreme shit

        • Apytele@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          7
          ·
          1 month ago

          I’m deeply enjoying this polite and intellectual discourse re: is this physically impossible act I imagined at 14 years old docking or sounding. Please continue this and all your other weird sexual internet discourse with the same level of polite fervor. :)

          • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            6
            ·
            1 month ago

            Lmao. I’m not an expert on either docking or sounding, so if one comes along I’ll defer. Lol. But also, I doubt you’re the only kid who thought that. When I was much, much younger than 14 and learned about gay folk (before realizing I myself was gay folk) I didn’t understand the issue, because I didn’t realize sex played into it. I just thought a relationship/marriage was two people raising kids and makings dinner and shit. Lol. Didn’t understand why you’d go to hell for that being two men or whatever.

            • MutilationWave@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              5
              ·
              1 month ago

              Kids understand things on a very basic level, which sometimes allows them to see through the societal bullshit that complicates life. Sure you were wrong about sex, but overall you were right.

  • MehBlah@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    22
    ·
    1 month ago

    I’m 53 and never considered it to be different from that. Damn you OP. I have shit to do today and I’m gonna be running this shit on a loop instead.

  • Fedizen@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    1 month ago

    I used to think this was silly but now pretty sure thats how it works now. Also vampire bat teeth look like metroid teeth