2022
So, how did it go?
I’ve told this story a few times now, but I never get sick of it.
Back in 2011 I left a startup that got acquired. On my last day we had a Christmas Party with our parent company, and we got to speaking to one guy that was on his own. After a few drinks, he blurted out that he had worked there for maybe 12 years, but at least 5-6 of those he was “unassigned”. When we asked what that meant, he said that his manager left and he was never assigned to a new team. He badged in every day, and after doing maybe 6 months of busy work and asking “wtf am I doing” to no answer from his department or HR he just came in to do his own stuff or play Unreal Tournament. He had yearly reviews with the head of department, and these were just high-level goal meetings where they reviewed the department, asked what he wanted, and left at that. Each year he was getting between a 2-5% pay rise, and outside of badging in he was only ever judged on his department output.
I always wonder what happened to that guy. The company is quite large and is still going strong, so he’s probably still there. I won’t name them, but another thing I loved about them was that they didn’t really know where to put Software Engineers, so they just assigned them to Marketing and gave each engineer a marketing budget to personally use - around £10k each. The best part? Everyone in marketing knew it was bullshit, but they pushed everyone to spend it because otherwise their budget would go down. Some highlights were a trip to Toronto to buy some books, a full team trip to Amsterdam to go to a React conference and live in basically 5-star accommodation, and renting a hotel lobby to quickly burn some money on interviewing interns. I think they actually have a tech department now, but I know many people I worked with that stayed for close to a decade because the WLB and perks were just too good to ignore.
This is why downsizing isn’t always bad
Imagine being so poorly managed that you downsize to cut back on unnecessary spending but literally lose track of an employee. Let’s keep the expense of an employee with none of the revenue generation!
Sometimes you just have to many people
Well… Let there be some fun in this world.
Apart from this … middle management is a real bloat nower days. Layers after layers of managers without contact to the actual product. (Now seen in Microsoft, Google and Enshittification)
Oh god, i only once worked in a company large enough where it felt like there were more middle managers than actual workers. The middle manger that was assigned to my team suddenly got sick. Like cancer sick and he basically stopped working within a week. They panicked, because there was no one to replace her. Some guy that i have never seen before told us that we just have to hang in there for 2 weeks or so until they found a replacement. They never found a replacement and i think they just forgot, because nothing has changed about our job, we did the same amount of work and everything. Legitimately the only difference was that they had one less paycheck to pay.
Don’t worry Anon, I’m sure it’ll work out.
Long ago I worked at Wal-mart’s tire center while going to college and to get as many hours as I could they let me work with the overnight people after we closed at 7. In theory. The problem was the overnight managers never got told about this so I would just hang out doing nothing for 3 hours every night and getting paid. This went on for 3 months until I got a better job and no one ever questioned me about it.
Don’t you still feel bad about defrauding Walmart for 180 hours worth of pay?
Cause I don’t.
Anon playing a dangerous game with management.
It’s all well and good until they find you, figure out what you’ve been doing (or rather not doing), then fire you and attempt to sue you for damages.
CYA. Make at least some attempts to be noticed. If they do notice you, at least you got a little bit of easily excusable free time - if they don’t, now you get the easy life AND a paper trail so they can’t say “why didn’t you try to tell us”.
I heard many similar stories like that from friends and it’s always a bit shocking to me. I’m no go getter or anything, i run my own business, but even then, i don’t want to work more than i really have to. But i just really can’t imagine what that must be like.
I had a friend who worked as a static engineer. He then worked for a company that made bearings for big machines, which wasn’t his line of work but he liked it. The company got bought by another company who did something different and he just fell through the cracks. At first he was super anxious and just pretended to draw on his drawing board and had excel open on his computer. But no one cared, a lot of people switched jobs and suddenly he didn’t really know anyone anymore and after a few month he told me that he doesn’t really know what his job is.
I’ve had jobs that amounted to sitting around waiting for work and hated it. I’m the first to tell people that I work just hard enough to not be bored and to keep everything under control
disclaimer: I’m not a bootlicker, all’s fair game for how you earn your keep
but there’s no way a competent person finds themselves not knowing what their job role is
that being said: a dubs a dub I guess ?
‘Systemic dysfunction? Sounds like a personal failing.’
Have you ever worked in corporate?
I don’t know if they have much of a case to sue you, if you fall through the cracks on their own negligence. Fire you, yes. Sue, I am doubtful most larger businesses would even try. They’d rather solve the problem and sweep it under the carpet in my experience. Not USA experience of course, but still the attitude would be similar I expect.
I would worry a bit about whether they’re allowed to give negative references though. Because if so, it might not be so easy to get another job after.
Best move would be to line up another job to start like a month before the review, and never reach the review stage. Even if discovered, most people that would “know” wouldn’t really be driven to report anything if they’re leaving anyway. The “not my problem, and this will make it my problem” attitude in big companies is real.
slowly divert my work to different people in the company
So you’ve been promoted to a management position.
You can make fun of managers not doing work. You know what’s worse than someone at manager/director level that doesn’t do any work? One that insists on doing so! Trust me, first hand experience.
I worked for basically Michael Scott at some point in my life. Everyone knew that he had the easiest job on the planet, and he still didn’t do it, and we were all glad he didn’t. He could talk to a room full of people for hours and explain his position in the company for so long that you forgot what you even asked.
If you think the connection to Michael Scott ends there, you’d be wrong. You would always know when he had a new girlfriend, because he would talk about her all the time. One time he connected his laptop to the projector and the first thing that opened was a picture of his girlfriend. He looked at it, said: OH. Made sure everyone saw her and then pretended to hurry to start his speech.
One day he came to work, sat in my car (i was on my way to a jobsite and had no idea why he was there.) i didn’t want to talk, so i just took off. After some awkward silence, he said: i’m not even supposed to work today. I nodded, i had no idea. He asked if i knew why he’s here. I said nope. He said he was supposed to get married today but his girlfriend fucked two dudes in the jacuzzi yesterday.
There are countless stories like that and all i could think about was: this guy makes 60k a year by working two days a week. And i don’t mean because he was slacking off the rest, he was only employed 20%
The absolute worst are the micro-managers. They don’t want to do work, but they also don’t want to delegate.
Instead they opt for that limbo between, where the only “work” they do is redundant at best, and every employee under them feels like a vole being tracked by a hungry hawk.
What would you say, you do here?
I’ve seen this happen with coworkers of mine. Folks who never did any work. And slipped under the radar for many years. at least two (and one other to a lesser extent) come to mind.
I have a coworker like that in a shared office. Guy fucking watches movies on speaker with the boss next door.
Who’s the real boss in this situation
The one paying for it, of course.
Good point.
Fuck this guy. Living out my dream ;'(
If we ignore the actual stress of a manager suddenly finding out and asking you to report what you have been doing. Probably still possible to bullshit long enough in a big company to recover a normal situation or find another job.
“I’ve been awaiting my next job”
Probably get fire but oh well, easy run until that point.
wastes his time watching movies all day.
Really?? Smh
World doesn’t have to be just hustle and grind. The man can enjoy himself however he likes, especially if he’s getting paid too.
Depending on the state you’re in you can get sued for all that money back, best to CYA
So this answers the question what universal basic income would lead to — sitting at home and watching movies
Even a cursory search online provides evidence that that isn’t the case: https://www.givedirectly.org/2023-ubi-results/#design
If he could read, you would have made him very upset.
Because nobody ever accepts more work or responsibility for higher pay to afford more or better things. Most people work just enough to pay for rent and groceries and are perfectly happy with that.
Difference between UBI and this is that you get paid the minimum for living, which would mean him being able to live like this would only be possible for a short amount of time or with really restricted funds
Love that you’re getting down voted but we had something approaching universal basic income in my country trough wellfare plans that were not exclusive with each other and had super lax requirements (since corrupt officials would take a cut of them) and it resulted in a very marked increase in poverty and a very marked cultural decline in work ethic on the lower classes
Why work or study when you can just stay at home and get paid enough to survive if you vote for the “right” candidate. People love to dream about theorized ideals but reality is often more complicated
