So many years I convinced myself that I didn’t have it bad enough to transition. I wasn’t constantly depressed, only sometimes. Dysphoria didn’t affect me daily, just weekly…
Never mind the fact that any time I embraced who I was it made me so happy, or that being seen by others the way I wanted felt more real than any other recognition I’d received before. No, I didn’t suffer enough, so I didn’t deserve to rock the boat with my happiness.
Folks, as cliche as it is, we aren’t here forever. Life is too short to waste it lying to yourself and everyone around you.
Honestly pre-transition I wouldn’t have said I was suffering that much, but looking back I was suffering a lot and just didn’t know everyone didn’t feel that way. It’s so easy to rationalize your suffering such that you think it’s normal, and thus acceptable.
Yeah, I always gave myself a reason to not call one of those mental health hotlines because I didn’t have it that bad. As long as I’m not currently attempting to follow through on… plans… then surely it’s merely a bad day and I can just ignore it and let it solve itself.
Nowadays if I feel even half as bad I’ll be concerned enough to call.
I suffer from the complete opposite problem, im so depressed and dysphoric that it seems impossible that life could ever get better. Yet somehow I constantly question if its just my depression and if I actually suffer from dysphoria at all.
shit, I had the same realization lately I never thought I had dysphoria worth thinking about until I started crying the other night over it not to mention the incredible joy I feel when presenting fem, wearing a skirt on stage at a concert felt so freeing and unbelievably pleasant
Needed to hear this thank you!
