I stopped posting my kids on social media. I don’t think it’s fair to them to create an online presence without their informed consent.
It’s that basic lack of respect that keeps my parents at an arm and a half’s distance. There was nothing I did as a child that the rest of the world didn’t hear about, even if I specifically asked them to keep something quiet. I stopped asking after a while, because I realized that guaranteed that they’d talk about it. Fucking weirdos.
Respect has always been at the core of my wife and I’s parenting philosophy. Children are fully-qualified persons in their own right, they’re not an extension of their parents. They have their own tastes, dreams and aspirations. They’ll test to find the limits of what they can do, and it doesn’t really matter where it’s actually set but it’s really important that they do find it. They can understand why we have to say no to them, and if you communicate the reason they’ll respect it.
All of this continues well into their teenage years, BTW.
I keep telling my wife we have to write a book on parenting, but she thinks it’ll be too controversial (especially our views around daycare and schooling)…
People really just weren’t ready for social media or having miniature computer-cameras at their disposal constantly.
If your child is having a meltdown of throwing a tantrum then you as a parent have a job to be doing. Put the phone back in your pocket or your purse and attend to your kid. Figure out what the problem is, do what you need to do to calm them down and consider that maybe if this is a frequent occurrence that perhaps you as a parent fucked up somewhere and you’re going to have to be responsible by working to correct whatever mistakes you made that brought this bad habit into existence.
Granted that some parents are just plain abusive, many parents on the one hand don’t realise that they are abusing their power as authority figures on their kids.
If you’re too young to have a social media, you’re too young to be ON social media.
New rule. All it needs now is a catchy short form or acronym
IYTYTHSM, YTYTBOSM
You’re welcone
there was a time these could end up on network television as part of the prime time lineup.
now it’s just one of billions floating around on the interwebs.
America. America. This is you.
Was going through links on a wholesome subreddit the other day, looking to calm myself down, and happened upon a video of a young teenage girl in an audiologists office getting her cochlear implants turned on. She was emotional, and happy crying, as her mom filmed her. But it just seemed kind of wrong to share? Like, this is a private moment for you and your family, and you can see the moment the girl realizes she’s being recorded, and how she then immediately goes to wipe tears/cover her face.
I’ve come to revel in the idea of not recording precious moments, just because I don’t want to cheapen them with the inclusion of a smartphone, a screen to separate myself from life happening on the other side. I take a similar approach to good deeds. Do something good, or kind for someone, and then don’t tell a soul. Keep it with you, for you, only. Hoard those moments like a dragon, and whenever you are having a crisis of faith, where you’re unsure as to your own worth, remind yourself of those times you did something kind for no other reason than it was the right thing to do.
Yeah, I mean by all means record to share with the family, it’s a nice moment and you can’t have all people at the doctors office, but to post that shit online is as they say, kinda cringe.
Even sharing with family is an act of betrayal if not ok’ed with the kid.
At 40 years old I still am unable to make myself emotionally vulnerable without the other person putting in too much work because of family sharing private shit amongst themselves.
I am sorry for having a rough childhood but we are talking about sharing a video about a medical procedure not some secret you told
Found the shitty parent
I will not have kids, but thanks for projecting your bad experiences on everyone
Videoing my kid has been an effective method for getting him to stop throwing a tantrum. I wouldn’t post it to the internet, but it seems to get him to care about how he’s behaving, so sometimes I’ll do it.
Posting it once will reinforce any feelings of resentment your child has for you. Tread carefully. Technology was not meant to replace common sense child rearing.
Yeah, I said I wouldn’t post it.
Even posting it sometimes on the internet is bad dude.
Yeah, I said I wouldn’t post it.
I never understand why you’d even want to do that? I don’t share images or videos of my kids as a rule but we do keep a family album app. If my kid is having a melt down, though, I’m not fucking filming, I’m trying to calm down the kid. Wtf is wrong with you is you if your first instinct is to film?
Some people have no concept of privacy anymore
I don’t typically record things, but I could see the value in doing so if your kid denies having acted in a certain way, so you can show them they did. If they deny certain actions, it’s harder to show them that the consequences of those actions are related to the choices they made.
Of course, I’m not advocating sharing these videos with everyone, though. Maybe a counselor if necessary.
We’re really not talking about videos that may be made at the request of a counselor.
Ok… manipulation tactic
Showing someone what they did is not manipulation.
Calling it a manipulation tactic is, though, so you’ve just outed yourself as a narcissist. That’s a block.
Eat me
I think they blocked you so you probably won’t get eaten.
It should be illegal to share your child’s information online. That should include videos and pictures of them, and details about their lives.
They have no say in it, and imagine growing up and then finding out your parents have shared your entire life online?
Fuck parents who do this at all. I don’t wanna hear about small friends or family group blah blah blah. There is NO REASON to share like this regarding a minor on social media.
I also always find it interesting when these parents never share the same amount about themselves.
This is the wrong approach.
Parents are doing this for likes and views!
Social media is the problem. We need to tear Facebook and Tiktok down.
This is the wrong approach.
People are having too many kids!
Heterosexuality is the problem. We need to tear sexuality and gender down.
This is the wrong approach.
Meat sacks are simulating a digital life.
Flesh is the problem. We need to raise AI in a digital creche and only then shove them into meat sacks once they mature into adulthood.
There needs to be voluntary continuing education for adults and parents in the information age. Our social norms are strong, and people will largely self regulate if they are educated about consequences of their actions. There needs to be public education curriculum changes for kids that are focused on functioning in adulthood.
We dont need a law for everything. Parents have always been able to make decisions for their children even if it seems wrong to other people, within reason.
Agreed.
Plus: Normalise crying in public (not only for small peo… children). And/ or acknowledge the fact that social rules for children are others than for adults.
Still: Be mindful of which images you publish for others to see
I’ve silently cried in public many many times and nobody ever bats an eye. If your town is over a certain size, people tend to prefer to mind their business.
Or New Jersey. We know not to get involved.
On the other hand: How else are we going to get those amazing condom ads?
A biography of Brejela the Purple’s life?
Those videos don’t make it to my filter bubble. But I agree.
Meh, there’s 0 chance of my crying making anyone’s interest.
That said I don’t post videos of anyone’s kids.
Fifteen minutes of fame, flash in the pan, there will be another crying kid tomorrow, only the grandparents will remember, and chances are very good that the data will be wiped from the servers in the next 10-15 years.
It’s more about the breach of trust
