If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.
It’s been ok. Last night I went to a queer friendly bar and the event of the evening was a gin tasting thing where you pay $20 and try a flight of fancy gins. I bought it with friends, and the dude doing the tasting was not a member of staff, he was a gin vendor only in for the evening. He was super bubbly and friendly to everybody before us, and explained the taste profiles of the gin and their backstories, etc. But when we went up and he asked us our names, as soon as he heard me speak he shut down immediately. We spent half an hour in awkward silence tasting gins,and he was outright rude when I asked him questions to try to kickstart a conversation. He didn’t even tell us the names of the drinks he was pouring, let alone their flavors or whatever. This has never happened to me before, and it sucked to be locked in to it. Really ruined my night, but the rest of the week was fine
Wtf. That’s horrendous that he treated you that way. You should send a complaint to his manager because that is not acceptable behavior for a bar that claims to be queer friendly.
Thanks cowboycrustation. Yeah despite living in a mostly conservative pocket of Washington, that was the worst experience I have had so far, so I do at least consider myself lucky. I expect there will be more stuff like that in the future as I am more openly trans, but I think I can tolerate that in the pursuit of being true to myself.
If he was a member of staff at the bar, I absolutely would complain, but he was just a temporary guest who works for a different company, and I don’t think he’ll return. Everybody who works there has always been nice to me
Felt good yesterday, got to feel like myself :3
Work is worky, weekend eepy.
Not a terrible week. Was pretty bored and then I had a super busy day today outta nowhere. I finally saved up enough money to buy a bass guitar so I’m excited about that. Been having a lot of dysphoria lately, though. I accidentally injured my chest with binding tape so I had to have a couple of rest days from binding which sucked and I hated and I didn’t wanna go anywhere or see anyone because of that. And then the bottom half of my body…sigh.
Sorry you’ve had to go without binding for a bit dude, that’s no fun at all. Dysphoria blows, but it’s really cool that you’ll at least get to buy a bass soon and start learning! Playing guitar always makes me happy, hoping it will do the same for you
Whew, it’s been… kinda weeky 🤔 I don’t actually quite remember what’s been going on 😅 Just trying to get by and get some kind of direction and sense back in my life, I suppose.
Did a couple easy bus trips to make the mistakes early (and apparently the first thing I wanted to explore all’ the way up here is Taco Bell… yeah okay whatever 🤷 😅 ), made some mistakes, learned some things. Kinda got to know “the area” (in terms of just, basic visual/geographical familiarity with this spot and the bus route down 👉 that way) a bit. Turns out it really is kindof a pain to get anywhere but what’s right on the bus route that runs out front <.< For right now my outside food options are BK, TBell, and a handful of restaurants over there. Bit nervous about going ‘into the city’ but there’s a Wendy’s only several blocks from a bus stop up there 😅 Am not super comfortable with that, actually. And of course, wherever I go next will have different routes and rules @.@ And then I’ll be somewhere else after that. weird fussy noises! Should probably do at least one more complex trip at some point before I get into anything really important and end up doing a mistakes when I need to not do such things :-\ Eep.
Visited a place that helps homeless critters. Still kinda can’t think of myself as homeless, even though I’m living in a closet (okay it’s a small room (and doesn’t bother me at all) but it’s meant to be a very temporary arrangement) in the house of somebody I didn’t know two weeks ago. Even harder when I feel like by doing so I’m asking for resources needed by people who are even worse off than I am. many grumbles Awkward, confusey mess. Bleh.
So now I’m feeling some weird aimlessness like bleeeehhh I don’t even know what to think. Somehow nothing’s really quite sunk in, like I’m barely starting to fully realize that I’m even here. This whole “building a life” thing is weird. Hard to imagine how and why so many critters do it. Also suddenly sinus congestion, though I think maybe it’s been trying to congest for a while 🤔
I really need a pocket dimension outside of time that I can just hide in sometimes. Or just stay there forever. If anycritter has one they don’t need, please lemme know :3 Anyway, I apparently still yap for ages in these posts so 🤷 I’ll shutup now 😅
The whole building a life thing is weird… hopefully you’ll feel less aimless when you’ve got stuff to do and places to be
The biggest secret of life is that adulthood is a bunch of BS and everyone’s just making it up as we go along 😅
You told, you told! I’m telling an adult!
… Oh wait I’m older than everycritter myself v.v Guess I’ll just tell myself, note the infraction, and uhhhh… eat some leftover Taco John’s 😅
In other news, Taco John’s is good stuff omnomnomnomnomnomnom
Mmm, tacos… the only taco johns near me I have yet to get hot potatoes, the tacos are way better than taco bell tho!
Yessss, it’s so good!* It’s even got a little spice in it! And delicious tots! And and and aaarrgghhh I need one I can get to @.@ There are only a few here and they’re scattered so far all over the area :( There’s gotta be one on a bus route, so I can choose where I want to live based on that 😹
*Okay it’s still fast food but it competes with Taco Bell and is far superior so within its category it’s really good 😅
Yeaaah, there’s a lot of chains that just haven’t made their way up to the northern states, or if they have there arent many. The nearest Zaxbys to me is in Indianapolis, the nearest Schlotzkys is in Kentucky, etc. We only got a taco johns in the past year (thankfully there’s nice taco shops with cheap barbacoa and birria tacos though)
The state of fried chicken in Ohio is depressing. Popeyes, Lee’s, KFC, and raising canes. That’s about it. Not a lot of good barbecue either.
I don’t think I ever saw nor heard of Taco John’s until I came to Minneapolis 🤔 This place has a pretty serious fixation on tacos 😅 Like, foreal there are taco bars and taco shops and taco trucks, almost seems like they’re as “every street corner” as Starbucks. So, I’m glad I won’t lack the essential nutrient known as Taco 😹
Gonna try some of the proper Mexican food shops sometime, get some enchiladas >:3 Kinda excited for that actually :D There’s one by the shoppy area I’ve gone to a couple times, and the photos on Google Maps look the part so yay! Unfortunately, am ill now :( Apparently this is normal for refugees from southern states, something about the weather mucks up people’s immune systems 🤔 Dunno how that works but I hope it clears up quick because it hurts and I need to get a life set up quick before I end up on the street :-\ … That took a turn 🤷
Idunno what to think about fried chicken or barbecue 😅 Though, there was a barbecue place somewhere in Oklahoma… JLs? J&Ls? Something like that I think, they gave huuuge portions and their potato wedges rocked and they had pulled pork and uhhh… yeah it was nice 😅 What kinda places were you thinking of?
Got my levels tested, estradiol was ~ 300 pg/mL at trough (exactly 4 days after injecting 5 mg EV subq), which I felt was unusually low.
I think I’ve been experiencing increased dysphoria, so I increased my dose to 5.4 mg when I injected yesterday. Yesterday was pretty awful, but today I feel much better (I can feel the increased estrogen, and started to feel it last night). It definitely feels euphoric and like taking recreational drugs. 😄
It’s weird, like my body adapted to the dose of estrogen I was taking and I built up a tolerance such that I needed to inject more for the same mental effects? I don’t think hormones work that way, but it feels like what’s happening.
Could also be a temporary lull or inefficiency with depot effect or something else entirely. Hard to tell.
