So, I’m baby trans. I’m exploring, at what feels like a glacial pace, but feel the urge to do something more. More, different clothes, idk. **But ** I think I have this fear of looking ridiculous with something and just hating myself and getting depressed, so I just don’t.

I was thinking I was “afraid of feeling dysphoric”, but today I started wondering, it’s that fear actually the dysphoria?

Bonus thought; the wanting to explore, but not knowing what to do, feels a little bit like when you have an itch on your back and try to get someone to help but they more of chase it around until you just give up. It’s like that. My gender is itchy and I can’t figure out how to scratch it 🤣

  • fadingembersEnglish
    3•5 months ago

    I think it’s just fear/anxiety. Fear of the unknown, fear you won’t like how you look, fear that you’ll be judged. Gender dysphoria is resolved through the elimination of the in-congruence between your self and your gender identity. My advice is: stop looking for dysphoria and start looking for what you want.
    What kinds of clothes do you want to wear? What kinds of pronouns do you want to use? What kind of makeup styles would you like to try? Don’t know the answer to these? Experiment! Try different things. Randomly if you have to! See what you like! Focus on how these things make you feel. You mentioned that you’ve already experimented with your nails. How do you like them? How do they make you feel?