Attempted cross-post

Any fashionistas able to help a chick out?

  • AdaMA
    link
    English
    1810 months ago

    Early on, when I wasn’t out to people, but wanted to start exploring presentation, I would buy button up blouses and pants etc that I could wear to work. Shaped for women, but read as androgynous with a slightly feminine lean by most folk.

    • @Blahaj_BlastOP
      link
      810 months ago

      Any suggestions on brand or style or anything? I have tried on some my parter got and I loved the fit, but was afraid they were too obvious. The back pockets seemed too small for my size and awkward. But holy shit they basically looked like colored jeans but way more stretchy and so comfy! I really feel like they weren’t far off from the stretchy Jean like pants I got from the men’s section.

      • AdaMA
        link
        English
        910 months ago

        I’m in Australia, and initially, I just went in to a Kmart here (which as a I understand it, is not the same as Kmart in the US) and bought cheap things from the women’s section that looked androgynous.

        but was afraid they were too obvious.

        It depends what you mean by obvious. Some people will notice the person they assume to be a guy, who is wearing skinny jeans with small pockets but they won’t understand what they’re seeing, and generally, they won’t care.

        • @Blahaj_BlastOP
          link
          810 months ago

          Yeah the US Kmart isn’t a thing anymore. That totally makes sense that other people may not notice, but I guess my fear is that someone will blatantly ask “are you wearing women’s pants?” and I’ll have an obvious embarrassed reaction. I just want to be invisible. But how tf do you invisibly transfer?

          • AdaMA
            link
            English
            1110 months ago

            You don’t transition invisibly unfortunately. What you can do though is do it at your own pace, one step at a time, only taking the next step when you’re ready.

            my fear is that someone will blatantly ask “are you wearing women’s pants?”

            You head this off by doing what I said above. One step at a time until you’re ready for the next step :)

            Wear something that you don’t think will trigger that reaction in people. And when you get comfortable with how people react and what they say, you can change what you do, and maybe take another step.

            • @Blahaj_BlastOP
              link
              610 months ago

              That obviously makes sense, that it can’t be invisible. Doesn’t mean my autistic ass wants to understand 😕

              One of my problems is having realistic expectations of what is noticeable or not. (probably autism again) I definitely overthink things.

              I have secret polished toes, and while it’s not quite the shade I want, I still do love it!

          • @Entertainmeonly
            link
            3
            edit-2
            10 months ago

            That’s when you pull the “why does my ass look big in these jeans” troupe haha…

            Sorry, I’m joking but only kinda. At some point you’ll get both compliments and accusations about the clothes you wear. Just try and enjoy the former and brush off the later. I do attempt to use humor a lot to deflect. It has the added effect of getting under bigots skin too. Got to choose your battles either way.

            • @Blahaj_BlastOP
              link
              310 months ago

              That’s a great one! I’m usually fairly decent at coming up with stuff like that… 2 hours later 😂

              Thanks for the funny/difficult truth advice.

              • @Entertainmeonly
                link
                2
                edit-2
                10 months ago

                I’ve taken to just thanking them as well. Like overly flattered “thank you so much for noticing hun” kind of thing. It makes me laugh and often sets the mood of the interaction to a positive. Sometimes people are just not aware of how they sound but then once you reply bubbly they often react with a smile. I do live in a rather accepting area though so, grain of salt and all that.

                • @Blahaj_BlastOP
                  link
                  310 months ago

                  That is a nice way of looking at it. I’m in an accepting enough area, but the state is not, so there is a good mix of those who couldn’t care less, and those that think you shouldn’t exist.