I encountered someone saying, “I have no problems with a person’s sexual orientation and choice, I have a problem with anyone being openly sexual or flaunting their sexuality in front of me regardless of their choice of orientation.”

I am a card carrying atheist. I was raised in one of the worst fundamental christian extremist groups and now live in near isolation from abandoning it nearly 10 years ago. All sexuality was bottled in my life and surroundings. This is still my comfort zone. A part of me wants to hold on to a similar ethos as the person I mentioned above, but I feel like I’m not very confident it is the right inner philosophical balance either.

I’m partially disabled now, so this is almost completely hypothetical. I am honestly looking to grow in my understanding of personal space and inner morality as it relates to others. Someone enlighten me please. Where does this go, what does it mean to you?

  • memfree@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I am going to play devil’s advocate here for the sake of discussion on if it matters what consenting adults do in public.

    Let’s say we have two moms going to the local library. One is very conservative and the other very liberal, but both are busy-body ‘Karens’. They see flyers for 2 events: one is kids story time with a drag performer, and the other is a ‘jack-ass’ style competition in the park in front of the library – promoted with pictures of people (constentingly) getting kicked in the groin. Both Karens are shocked that their kids would be exposed to such outrageous behavior and do not want the kids copying such behavior – but each only object to ONE of those events.

    Both are going to complain to their city council and try to get their peeve banned. Do either of them have a point? Would it matter if it wasn’t an ‘event’ and just people going about their daily lives (kids smacking each other around or dressing up for fun)?

    My instinct is to say that it should all be allowed, but I can imagine some argument about the deterioration of society or some such.

    • Adramis [he/him]@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      “Quantifiable harm” might be a distinction to draw here. There are immediate, obvious, and potentially life-long physical complications from a jack-ass style competition that are literally physically tangible. There is no arguing with “Little Timmy’s ball got kicked off and he’s going to be a eunuch for life.” The ‘harm’ caused by children attending a story time with a drag performer isn’t quantifiable in the same way.

    • The_Sasswagon@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      From what I understand of drag, it is a style of expression akin to an art form or a theatrical performance. Just as any other art can be overtly sexual, drag can be too, but like movies, music, and sculpture it can be used to express a wide range of complex topics.

      The mother reacting poorly to the story time is misinterpreting the concept of drag likely due to preconceived biases or social influence, and that interpretation should be corrected through exposure and conversation. Ideally they would seek that learning out, having recognized that the flyer made them uncomfortable. Maybe they go to the story time without their child and respectfully watch to see if such activities would be appropriate in their eyes for their child in the future.

      The jack-ass competition sounds like a real legal liability for the library and city given the physical harm likely to be brought to participants, so I doubt it would be likely to exist. I also doubt many parents would sign their kids up for such a competition.

      Assuming the flyer were there and approved to be there, it would not be an issue for the reason stated either. You can not and should not expect the world to hide your child from everything harmful, if they notice and ask about it, it can be a learning experience for them to talk about why they can’t participate. It’s also not the first time they have seen that sort of behavior, their classmates act like that on the playground and the cartoons they watch have it in every episode. Tom and Jerry or Bugs Bunny comes to mind.

      Society isn’t degrading, the arguers view of society is being challenged by reality. They can learn and adapt or learn and remain but either way the onus is on them to exist with society.

      • pi_fang@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        Ideally they would seek that learning out, having recognized that the flyer made them uncomfortable.

        Yes, Ideally. Very rare though. Far easier to blame the other person for “making them feel uncomforable” and then trying to change the other person. Personal freedom is limited by what society can tolerate.