Let’s assume that you recently cracked your egg. You then had a period of intense focus on this realization. You came out to friends, you explored things typically associated with your newfound gender identity (such as clothes), and you reveled in how this made you feel. You were confident that you want to transition.
Cut forward a few weeks. The novelty has worn off and getting access to medical care is so slow. Also you’re not out everywhere yet (e.g. work), so you still get addressed with your old pronouns and name constantly. Thinking or talking about yourself trips you up all the time, because you keep misgendering yourself. Your chosen pronouns and name still feel nice but also like a reminder of who you aren’t “yet”. You feel tired.
You start to ask yourself if you’re really trans or if it was just the novelty of it all. If all of this is worth it. But at the same time you’d still press a magic button that gives you the body you dream of in a heartbeat.
How would you deal with this?
Tbh waiting for hormones is very hard and I felt very stuck too well I was waiting. For me spending time with people who affirmed who I am was crucial to getting through it. I came out as many places as possible and even with some coworkers who I trusted. But I was also fine if eventually people came to know that at my workplace cause I was safe to come out there. You gotta work on other things in the mean time, idle time is overthinking time at least for me. So I tried to spend my time focused on my mental health and hobbies. I’d be lying if I say it went perfect though, and I’m not sure there’s any way to get through waiting easily.
Its also worth deconstructing your imposter syndrome, read up on dysphoria and validate your own gender. Do things that make you feel euphoric, and distance yourself from people and things who don’t.