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Pro tip: like you would anybody else! LOL
People get so awkward and trip all over themselves just because I have a name and pronouns. I don’t put any pressure on them; if they get it right, I’m delighted (90% of the time this only involves… reading). If not, I keep my disappointment tucked away inside.
But people will get all mixed up or overthink it on their own. Their reaction makes me feel like I’m guilty of something when they get so flustered. They really don’t need to apologize if making an honest mistake. I’m not going to fly off the rails over it. I struggle with remembering names, myself.
Idk does anyone else experience this? Had a medical appointment today, and she was like “Miss… Mr… Miss X.” Or she had been using the right name all morning, but got confused at one point rapidly alternating between my legal and chosen names.
If I’m not sure, I either just use their first name, ask for pronouns, or use gender neutral pronouns. It’s not difficult.
I had an interaction today at work where I discussed a technical issue of a user of unclear pronouns and my coworker said “I think she(?) needs to…” and the question mark struck me as being very unkind. Never do that. Just use “they” or first names in those situations.
I think putting a question mark shows that they are unsure of pronouns and would prefer to use the correct one. However, I completely agree that ‘they’, or a name, would be much better.
I don’t think the intent is unkind but it is clumsy and inconsiderate. A small step above unkind.