You know what? Sure. As long as they have a reason to release the files I’m down to support it.
I think if this idea were seeded into the Facebook frenzy that would have been diabolical
What if the rapture did happen but none of them were worthy?
Wow, covid was an extremely shitty rapture.
Even with god’s chosen president doing everything he could to get more people up to heaven…
explains a lot tbh.
Or what if the rapture happened and the only creature deemed to fit the criteria was a single highly surprised but very chill about it capybara?
Specifically this dude:
Christians are almost always been selective about what parts of the bible they believe (or even bother to read) and this is an easy example. The bible makes very clear that the date the world ends will be known to none but god. There won’t be a warning from angels and humans won’t be able to figure out in advance. There could be signs it’s coming that people pick up on but someone saying “it’ll be this day on this month” will always be a lie. That aside, why would a Christian who thinks the world is gonna end sell anything? What will you do with that money in Heaven?
That aside, why would a Christian who thinks the world is gonna end sell anything? What will you do with that money in Heaven?
it’s all carnies and rubes.
Even Jesus, who is God, sorta, didn’t know when it would happen. He told his disciples he would return in their lifetime.
He forgot to convert from God Time to mortal time. He was thinking they would live another couple dozen years or whatever, a thousand times as long as it took HimDadSelf to create the universe and speedrun evolution. Forgetting those the same kind of Days.
Didn’t he technically return for a short bit?
From what I understand this is a common misconception
Its literally what it says in the bible.
There’s a lot of mental gymnastics Christians do to pretend this isn’t true, but that is transparent and pathetic.
Apparently it’s a case of misinterpretation and he was talking about the destruction of Herod’s temple which happened in 70 AD
So, what got misinterpreted to turn “Herod’s temple will be destroyed” into
“Truly I tell you, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.” ?
You need the context of what he said before that. He wasn’t talking about his return he was talking about specific signs.
The problem with a lot of the Bible is that it is too easy to misinterpret. Its why biblical scholars exist.
Hell so much of it even requires historical context.
But for this specifically you jumped to the end of a long speech Jesus gave and ignored the body of it. And I don’t blame you. It’s easy to get lost in such a dull and antiquated collection of books.
It’s why Young Earth Creationists think there are references to dinosaurs in the Old Testament. Lack of paying attention to a hard to follow text
But yes he was talking about the rise of Christianity and specific things that would come with it. Not his second coming.
Well that’s just not true…
Most of that chapter has to do woth “the identity of christ”, not signs and symbols of the rise of Christianity.
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The most common Christian apologetic is to say he was talking about the transfiguration. That fails because the language is clearly talking about his return. The early church clearly thought he was going to return in their lifetime. Also, the transfiguration a few days later. It’s weird to say “some of you will still be alive in a few days”
Would be funny if that’s what he meant
That aside, why would a Christian who thinks the world is gonna end sell anything? What will you do with that money in Heaven?
They must not think Trump is releasing the Epstein files any time soon.
Well…on that front, they wouldn’t be wrong.
I have yet to meet a Christian who doesn’t regularly practice at least one of the 7 deadly sins.
In the modern age, just Greedy, Envy and Wrath are already common amongst the vast majority of Christians - I mean, if you want to punish immigrants becuase you think that “they’re taking our jobs” that’s already Greed and Wrath and possibly also Envy.
Then even the most pious religious people are generally Prideful, at the very least on how close to the Lord they thing they are and how superior their own moral and ways are.
Sloth and Gluthony also tend to be very common - you certainly don’t get overweight “epidemics” in a country without tons of people doing very little when they could do more (say, riding their car everywhere) and eating far beyond what they need.
If there’s ever a Rapture, nobody will notice because only a handful of people - most of whom eremits living separate from the rest of the World - dissapears.
Sell car.
Donate to church.
GGEZ
Church: no re
I wonder if the inverse would hold true
If somebody “knows” its the rapture, then it must not actually be the rapture
You do realize Christianity is pretty diverse group, right?
You can believe what you want to believe
Diverse, sure. But some statements hold true across most of that diversity. Almost every Christian individual and denomination is selective about what parts of the bible they listen to. Since some parts of the bible are contradictory, this is sometimes a necessity. But other times it’s just people being people.
I’m gonna write a book that contradicts itself, not give clarification on those parts, leave it up to the readers to figure it out, and base the afterlife on how right they were. Because at least some Christians think they are doing it exactly right, and they will not be having the afterlife they think they will.
You left out “pick the correct translation of that book”. There are people who are ‘KJV Only’ who believe that the King James Version of the bible is the only correct divinely inspired version.
Look, the list of corrections and amendments we could make to what I said could fill out a book of their own. The Bible of Why The Bible Is Fallible, or whatever.
If you hold a single text to be the very word of your god, and you use it to justify all that you do or do not do, then you must follow it to the letter or admit that you’re just a tourist. There is zero in between when you claim that the thing is pure and divine, cannot be questioned, and should be the basis for all your laws.
Christians just keep throwing out whole chunks of the fucking thing except all the parts that they can misinterpret and mistranslate to allow them to do awful things to people they don’t like for “reasons”.
My favorite part is how every pastor and many laypeople will have their own particular set of interpretations. Never mind that, at most, only one of those could be fully right, and therefore the rest are doing/believing some things wrong.
If you hold a single text to be the very word of your god
Which not all Christians do. There are many who believe to be the words of human beings, just divinely inspired or significant.
Sure, but why do they get to pick and choose what is more important than the rest? How do intentionally bad mistraslations for kings and personal gain provide the basis for a religion? Even the best Christians I know, who don’t force their own beliefs on others, still consider themselves to be pro-life because of the bible, or if they treat gay people with all the respect a human being deserves otherwise they still believe beung gay to be a sin. Why choose that stuff to follow but ignore the mixed cloth and tattoo parts?
You(maybe you, maybe the general “you”) don’t get to pick what part of your holy text is important or not. That’s not a religion, just a theology enthusiast with potentially questionable ideas all of their own.
Why choose that stuff to follow but ignore the mixed cloth and tattoo parts?
The mixed cloth and tattoo parts are from the Old Testament, which many Christians believe was superseded by the sacrifice of Christ. A new covenant - Abraham didn’t sacrifice Isaac, but God sacrificed his son. No longer a need to sacrifice in the temple, no longer a need to follow dietary laws.
There’s nothing in the text of the Bible that justifies a “pro life” position. The only part that mentions abortion is an Old Testament verse about forcing a woman who is suspected of cheating to drink something that will cause an abortion.
The language used by Paul in the New Testament about gay men is ambiguous and could easily be interpreted to only prohibit pedophilic sex.
Several of “Paul’s” letters in the New Testament are known forgeries. It’s very easy to “pick and choose” to reject those. One could even reject Paul entirely.
It’s a text written in multiple different ancient languages. It’s not cut and dry always that “the Bible says this.” (Same with other ancient texts - most translations of the I Ching are absolutely bonkers in how they look nothing alike.)
Even if someone would want to call themselves a “literalist,” there’s clearly poetry and figurative language. I don’t think anyone has baby dear for mammaries.
You cannot flatten Christianity like this. The fundamentalist interpretation/“Biblical literalist” interpretation is really a product of the 19th century (as is fundamentalist Islam - these are both tied to more widespread literacy in the world). It’s not one coherent ideology you can throw r/atheism logical “gotchas!” at.
A lot of shit that is part of mainstream Christianity isn’t even biblical. The Satan and hell most imagine is more from Milton and Dante than it is from the text of the Bible.
Religions aren’t their texts - even the ones that purport to be. They’re centuries of folk traditions and interpretations stacked on those ambiguous texts.
You’ve proven my point exactly. The only text that christians follow, the one that is front and centre of their entire ideology no matter how they choose to interpret it, is comepletely full of holes. Without the bible there is no religion. What do you honestly think Christianity looks like, and where could you even find enough information on it, if you removed the bible and all references to it?
There is nothing without the bible, and the bible itself is nothing of you refuse to obey it to the letter. If there are clear lies they must be removed or else that is an edorsement of said lies contained within, and a willful corruption of the holy text.
And the extra funny thing is that the muslims believe in the same god and they follow the rules in the book. It’s the same guy but apparently all the people who don’t even live in the birthplace of the religion get a free pass to just go off and do whatever? Sure, ok.
“With God all things are possible… Except the Epstein files, even God can’t help you there.”
I just realized…GOD is in the Epstein Files. Oh, it all makes so much sense now!
It all started with the virgin Mary, then God couldn’t help himself and created Epstein so he didn’t feel so alone in His diddling!
When Jesus said “suffer the children come unto me” that’s not what he was talking about
-Carlin
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List of dates predicted for apocalyptic events
If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results, then the people who anticipated this latest failed prediction are absolutely, frothing at the mouth, street corner screaming certifiable.
But then I think we all already knew that.
In 2011 one of the skeptic magazines published a form saying something like, “I hereby bequeath all my worldly goods to the bearer of this note on [day after the world was supposed to end].” Obviously a joke, but I wonder how many doomsday-ers were confident enough to sign on the dotted line?
I doubt many because you never, ever, hear of any of these rapture folks giving away all their money and stuff. never. Oh it’s going to happen…but just in case…
Not quite the same, but when my wife was a kid, some of her hardcore fundie neighbors ran up MASSIVE loan and credit card debts on the lead-up to one of these rapture dates in the '90s. They thought that since they would soon be chilling with Jesus in Heaven they wouldn’t have to face financial consequences. It financially ruined them and they lost everything.
Huh. Isn’t that the Sin of Greed then? Seems even if there had been a rapture they self-selected out.
I stopped trying to rationalize these people’s ‘reasoning’ a long time ago.
I mean, I understand it. I think it’s stupid, but I understand it.
They believe Good is something you are, not something you do. So anything they do is Good, because they’re Good. If a Bad Person does the same thing, say, running up debt; they did something Bad, because Bad People only do Bad things.
checks list Cool, the one I added (and documented) is still listed.
Well, we’re getting close though. Only 5 more left.
American Christians. Never heard anyone else use the term rapture.
The article mentions the preacher who started this rapture excitement is from South Africa
I mean that really all depends on the religion that they are. The rapture is used in different context for different religions and it’s not always called the same thing. However the word rapture is typically prevalent among sects such as Southern Baptist and any of the other evangelical faith. But it’s not typically found among many of the base Lutheran religions and the exact words as well as Catholicism.
And now guess why the billionaires behave like they do.
Imagine you wake up in the morning and realize all the annoying Christian fundies have been raptured away and the world is all unicorn farts and rainbow cotton candy for a while…
Nice try.
The Rapture did happen, and you failed to make the cut.
I was raptured! Or at least I think I was. I was laying in bed when all of sudden everything started shaking and there was a bright light outside. Everything in my bedroom started being lifted up. Then two shadowy figures were in my bedroom. They were short and large heads. They spoke like Biblical angels, completely in tongues.
The next thing I remember, I woke up two towns over with no memory. I also have a pounding headache.
Oh yes I remember that Pixar short!
Actually, this is something I could relate to.
This is hell. Like, literally.
Somewhere, one single person was raptured and wondering where everyone else is. No one else noticed their absence. But the rapture did happen.
“Just me? Really?”
small gods was right all along
This happened in AD 221.
The rapture happened ages ago, but none of us went to heaven. We’re staying along for the ride.
Because it’s impossible to be good, in the words of Eleanor Shellstrop: “There’s this chicken sandwich that if you eat it, it means you hate gay people. And it’s delicious!”
I’m sorry but Chick-fil-A is bland as fuck and I’ll never understand why people love it so much. The chicken is always dry, the sauce selection sucks, and the lettuce & tomato are always warm & soggy. I just don’t get it. Even by fast food standards, the quality is shit. I’ve been to multiple locations and they’re all the same.
It’s too bad there’s only one fried chicken restaurant in existence
Simply do this for every product you buy, or go to the Bad Place.
I feel like you can keep track of the ones actively doing genocide and famous for it when they’re just one franchise instead of a megaconglomerate that makes everything under two hundred different labels.
Go to Popeyes instead of getting in line with the rest of the WASPs, it’s not a big ask.
And then the probing began.
Yes Lot, just don’t look back, or I’ll kill you.
The one raptured dude was super high on fent so they assumed it was an OD.
Faith is such an interesting concept. Believers can make up interesting statements like this, but if this statement is true, then so is the following: God was okay with Epstein’s activities, otherwise God would’ve intervened. Right?
Naaah we’re just too stupid to understand how god operates. Don’t even try, just know that god loves you and shut up about Epstein /s
God is all-powerful and all-knowing. He knows the number of hairs on your head. Every touch, crime, etc. by Epstein was God’s specific will or it wouldn’t have happened. The Lord works in mysterious ways!
It’s 2025 and the Daily Star is now considered one of the more relevant and trustworthy news sources. And not because they’ve improved themselves.
In our era, a new way of winning the race to be the British Newspaper with the most Journalistic Integrity appeared: just stand still as a tabloid with little or no Journalistic Integrity whilst everybody else just runs by you in the opposite direction of “better” on their way to Pure Propagand Outlet.
Every time the rapture doesn’t happen they seem more convinced that it will happen in the future.
I really should get into the property market around the time the next rapture announcement comes out because surely they’ll be selling all their houses off right. If you timed it right you could go on a really expensive holiday and save money by not paying for a return flight.
I think I saw someone selling “rapture insurance” a while a go. Iirc they pay a one time fee to get on a registry and they would go around and collect pets that didn’t get raptured with their owners.
Don’t forget the annual renewal fee, by automatic withdrawal. Make it expensive, and do it just before Christmas.
That sounds like a nice little grift to get into. Usually I have to reject these ideas because I have a moral compass, but I might be able to ignore it to fleece gullible MAGA religious freaks. I don’t mind separating the money from racist, pedophile traitors.
Why make it a grift? Start reaching out to them to check in after each rapture prediction, and you can get word-of-mouth business!
What? But the rapture was last night, didn’t anyone tell them?
“Oh, it was last night, and YOU are still here? Sorry, buddy, that sucks. Well, not for me, I wasn’t expecting it. I’m just happy that we’ll have fewer arrogant self-righteous Karens.”
Every time the rapture doesn’t happen they seem more convinced that it will happen in the future.
That has to be some sort of Logical Fallacy. If the rapture hasn’t happened yet, then it stands to reason that it must happen in the future. That part isn’t in doubt, it’s the actual date that is controversial.
I mean, assuming you believe the rapture is real in the first place. You have to make that illogical leap first.
It’s like a variant on the Gamblers fallacy. They believe there’s a chance, and so every failure means a success is closer
It sounds so stupid when you break it down like that.
And yet the gambler’s fallacy hits pretty hard to a lot of people. I know I struggle with it. We as a species tend to organize our world in the form of narrative and intents. Randomness kinda fucks with us in that regard.
That said, the rapture part is stupid. But there’s also more to it. When Prophecy Fails is a famous book on the topic
I was going to say “gambling” semi ironically.
They are more convinced. “When prophecy fails” was first published in 1956, it’s well documented.
After the rapture failed to happen on Tuesday
be the change you want to see in the world
Death cult makes up another excuse for their god not existing.
“We know it’s fiction, but we hate you for not believing our bullshit!”
Fuck religion, and the religious. Even you ‘good’ religious assholes. Fuck you specifically for supporting evil religions.
Without religion, we’d be talking about Epstein right now. REligions come along with the complete lies and just fuck everything up. Every fucking time.
Pretty sure bad people don’t need religion to still do bad things and lie. I’m pretty certain murder and other such horrors existed before religion did.
Which is to say, y’all would be still talking about Charlie Kirk, tariffs, etc still instead of Epstein.
72% of Americans have some form of religious belief.
If religious people fuck everything up you are literally surrounded by them.
“Some form” is pretty broad. They may not actually mean all religions, either.
But I don’t think that raging against the majority is uncalled for.
There’s a difference between raging against the majority, and saying things like “all 72% of the population do is fuck everything up”. It’s a wonder anything is standing if that was the case.
I mean
It kind of is a wonder anything is standing.
Indeed. Feels like there must be a flawed premise involved…
Without religion, we’d be talking about Epstein right now. REligions come along with the complete lies and just fuck everything up. Every fucking time.
saying things like “all 72% of the population do is fuck everything up”
That’s not really what they said, though. Most of that 72% does non-religious stuff most of the time. Imagine how much better things could be if we were less fucked up!
Fuck religion, and the religious. Even you ‘good’ religious assholes
Sure sounds like they don’t care if they do “non-religious stuff most of the time”
Ok…then we’re surrounded by people who fuck up the planet.
Hey, you DO see that humans, and only humans, have fucked this planet up pretty badly, right?
Like we’re already past the point of no return for climate change. We can’t unfuck the planet.
So why is it hard to believe that the majority of people are huge fuck-ups in life? Including you.
Hey, you DO see that humans, and only humans, have fucked this planet up pretty badly, right?
I never claimed otherwise?
And how helpful is it to scream “fuck humans, all they do is fuck everything up, even the so called good humans fuck you for supporting the humans fucking things up!”
There, have I fixed climate change now?
What if they gave a rapture and nobody left?
What if the rapture happened and the only thing that dissapeared were the Epstein files?
Oh God, don’t even give them any ideas. I’m already worried with all this symbolism trying to make Charlie Kirk into Jesus they’re going to try and claim he was resurrected at some point.
“This was all part of God’s plan.”