when they ask me quietly, “did that just happen? are you okay?” and that’s when i know they understand what i’ve been saying all this time.

I think this right here is what’s so surprising about being trans in the US. One trans person, even in a group with non-trans people, will get slurs yelled at them on the street and harassed in the presence of others.

For many minority folks, being with others erases that part of your identity from that kind of attention. If you’re walking by yourself and a woman, you’re way more likely to get cat called than in a group that also has men. If you’re black, you probably won’t get the n word if you’re walking with a group of white people.

I’ve often wondered just what it is about being trans that makes people feel like open criticism and slurs are okay, no matter who is around. Is it that socially we haven’t decided that it’s not okay to yell slurs at trans people yet, and it’s purely a matter of how new of a concept it is to most people? Is it because of the incessant attacks by the right and how we tolerate open discussions questioning their humanity? I’m not sure but it’s certainly sitting in a weird place right now, and I wish people would grow up and see fellow humans as humans first, before looking at their identities.