My favorite movie, Hana-bi by Takeshi Kitano, always makes me feel so much whenever I see it.
When I showed it to my parents (my 6th rewatch), they were joking all the time about how boring it was, how lengthy the scenes were… Except towards the end they started getting into it. And it hit them so hard. They were not used to seeing movies taking their time to tell something deeply personal. My mom then said to me “I am thankful to not have stopped watching, because it will remain in me”.
So I think this meme is sometimes unironically right.
But I love David Lynch
Can’t hear the dialog | Christopher Nolan
This comment is the thread killer.
This, but unironically.
All the comments here jumping to talk about how wrong this is, I gotta ask: haven’t you seen a bad movie?
Art films or blockbusters (or rather, attempts at blockbusters), plenty of movies just suck. Many bad movies will have endless amounts of people trying to change the narrative with the words on the right column.
There are also plenty of films where people just absolutely dont get it
My favorite example is annihilation
And here is an excellent video about it: https://youtu.be/URo66iLNEZw
Me when 2001: A Space Odyssey
i’ve known since i was a child that kubrick is supposed to be a genius but i can’t for the life of me understand why. he takes good stories, sucks their souls out, leaves a trail of broken people in his wake, and everyone praises him for it. fuck kubrick.
Oh. Oh, have I got a story.
When Star Wars came out, I was 11. It was making a lot of noise, and my mom kept trying to convince me to go see it, but we’d driven by the theater and I was convinced - convinced - that it would be boring, and refused. Of course I did end up going, and spent the summer in the theater; this was before they kicked you out and made you buy tickets for each showing. I ended up seeing it 16 times in the theater, that summer.
Anyway, fast forward a couple dozen years and I’m watching an 2001, and I notice that it was originally released and advertised as being in “stereophonic sound.” Checked with mom, and she confirmed that they had taken me to see 2001 in the theater at some point, and I realized that I must have recognized the “In Stereophonic Sound!” on the Star Wars billboard and made the association that that meant “boring.”
Me trying to explain why I found 2001: A Space Odyssey an excruciating an confusing snoozefest without a single interesting point… while also insisting that Barry Lindon is one of the greatest films ever made : I SWEAR MY OPINION MAKES SENSE
I fucking hate Kubrick. Every movie feels cold and soulless, and they move slower than a snail on lean.
Glad to know I’m not the only one who walks away from a Kubrick movie feeling like they just had a conversation with the most boring person on the planet.
Movies are made to tell stories that the directors and the producers feel inspired to tell. And unless they are a Marvel or DC movie, they aren’t always meant to appeal to every audience member, and it’s childish to think that movies should always cater to your every whim-- especially when people are so goddamn quick to judge things others worked really hard on so goddamn harshly.
And before the “but mah money, tho!” shit-- that’s fucking capitalism, and not unique to movies.
Not every movie is going to be to your taste, and that’s cool. What’s not cool is shitting on a movie just because you didn’t like it or it didn’t make sense to you.
Reviews are meant to help you choose which movies you want to bother watching. Using the terms in the green column is helpful in giving the reader a sense of what to expect from a movie while avoiding a negative personal impression.
The red column is very reflective of modern online critiques:
Harsh. Impulsive. Thoughtless. Black & white.
Often made without fully engaging with whatever is being critiqued:
“I haven’t watched the movie, but based on the trailer I bet it’s trash.”
“I hate Darren Aronofsky movies because they don’t explain what is happening and they’re stupid.”
“I heard this movie was great, but I watched it and it sucked. Therefore, everyone else is wrong.”
i’ll shit where i please thank you very much.
a friend of mine raved about Omni Loop and how brilliant it is but it’s literally just groundhog day with the joy sucked out and confounding elements sprinkled on top just to try and make you feel too stupid to “get it”. it’s a bad movie and the team that made it should feel bad, especially that godawful writer.
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What’s not cool is shitting on a movie just because you didn’t like it or it didn’t make sense to you.
If you don’t like or don’t get a work of art, it is entirely reasonable to shit on it.
The emperor has no clothes.
Yeah, nobody is going to stop me from shitting all over Ayn Rand novels and film adaptations.
Not should anyone, honestly. They are a travesty.
To clarify, my comment specifically is about superficial movie reviews, critiques, & recommendations.
Criticism within the context of a movie discussion, presuming everyone involved actually engaged with the movie, is part of healthy dialogue & idea exchange.
I’ve had my point of view changed plenty within such discussions, and brain dead people do not usually bother to participate in such forums so it’s a win-win.
That isn’t an incorrect critique of Aronofsky. His shit really doesn’t hold up after the critics stop climbing over each other to laud his obtuse cinematography and incoherent plots as genius.
But can we still shit on Michael Bay?
michael bay makes big dumb action movies for teenage boys but he’s at least open and up front that he makes big dumb action movies for teenage boys and there’s no pretense that there’s some grand genius to it all that you’re just too stupid to understand. there’s an honesty in that that I respect.
I think blatant cash grabs are fair game for harsh criticism.
Recordings of public executions challenge me
Dreamlike Atmosphere: When my girlfriend and I saw James Cameron’s Avatar in IMAX on release and both fell asleep.
The last two might make sense, the others don’t. But regardless, what is boring to one might not be to others. Some watch movies for visual spectacle and beautiful shots, others for deep, well written stories and sentimentality, strong emotion well portrayed, for instance. Preference is not necessarily an objective measure of quality, is what I’m saying, and that’s okay. That’s why you find some critic that watches movies for the same reasons and then try not to miss the movies he also enjoyed…
as someone firmly in the latter category, i usually find that “well-written” and “well-portrayed” is where most ‘arthouse’ movies lose me, most seem to rely on the appearance of substance as a stylistic element to mask the fact that the writing is bad and the story is stupid. it’s confusing on purpose so you won’t take a step back and notice that it’s actually really bad.
Or maybe all art house films get described this way when, like any other art form, plenty of them just suck.
Sometimes a movie just sucks and won’t accept that it sucks.
This made me lol, I know several people IRL who talk like this.
ITT pretentious people implying that if you don’t categorically like stupid boring confusing pretentious bullshit, you’re a knuckle-dragger who only likes marvel schlock.
Synecdoche, New York
