If we’re going by Columbus logic, probably “Jupiter”
Blue Marble probably
Are the aliens going to rape and enslave?
Very likely
Hmm, so they were aiming for something else, but got here instead because they had crank theories about the shape of the universe? (Columbus thought Earth was egg-shaped instead of a sphere, like everyone had correctly thought since the time of ancient Greece)
They call us something translating to “the Andromidans”.
I mean you don’t have to go with the analogy fully, but yeah, that’s a deep answer, I suppose.
Translated to English, probably “Name-of-Star” 3, as in 3rd planet from our star, same system as Star Trek. The key difference is Columbus had no idea where he was going, and aliens have to know exactly where they’re going. Can’t shoot into space and find a planet by accident.
Shithead
“This Land”.
Water planet with cancerous hairless simian population.
their new colony
Probably not Alienia
Open season on the tasty meat creatures
Probably some Italian gibberish.
A fixer-upper.
