I think I might finally be on the road to getting some sort of diagnosis and learning how to live (although it’s still talk right now and who knows if I don’t just end up with an appointment 6 months from now). At this point I’m 90% sure it’s autism or ADHD or some combination thereof. But I’m also aware of the possible folly of reading into things as far as self diagnosis goes. But I’ve been lurking and spending time in these sorts of communities for a couple of years now and feel like I’ve been learning more and more about myself. And I’m pretty sure now that I’m not just stupid and lazy and unreasonably defiant and depressed. I think I just haven’t learnt how to function in a world that wasn’t made for me.
I’m hoping to ask some advice on if I should do some homework or start making notes about my perceived reasons or symptoms before starting anything official and official. I started out terrible at doing homework and it’s got worse as I got older but if there’s any important literature that I should read, it would be awesome to know about it and I could push through reading it. And notes, should I start taking notes of things to speak about or bring up?
Thank you in advance. Might only start replying and stuff later became I’m feeling a little scrambled right now and only slept about 4 hours last night.
Some things to consider. Even official diagnosis might change or be wrong, or specialists might disagree. You are the one that really knows the facts of your life. A diagnosis is a good starting point to help yoiu find the right tools to deal with what you struggle, but you can test the tools without it to see if they make your life better. Truth is, everyone would benefit from even minor accommodations.
For me the diagnosis was very clarifying. The analogy I have been using when trying to explain it is that before the diagnosis I was looking for advice/knowledge/solutions in a 360 degree circle. That’s a lot stuff to search through. But the diagnose narrowed my search to a much smaller angle, which means a lot less stuff to search through.
I don’t know if you’re a programmer, I am, and I believe my mind uses a breadth-first algorithm. Which quickly becomes a problem, unless I narrow down the search space. My diagnosis did that.
If you see some resemblance to yourself in this, waiting to start your research might make sense.
breadth-first algorithm
Reading that, especially the video game example In that article, it sounds like I might have the same way of thinking. I definitely explore that way in video games and even open world games can be a problem just for time because I leave no stone unturned before moving on to the next area. If I think about it, that might be how I gather information in other areas too, and spend a lot of time exploring areas that I don’t really need just got the sake of knowing lol.
When I did a first year of psychology another life ago, I come across a concept that’s kind of a warning to psychologists about self diagnosis. And that it is very easy to relate to little bits and pieces of information and trick yourself into thinking that all of the information applies to you. So I’ve stayed away from literature so far and instead lurked in neurodivergent spaces for the last couple of years. And the amount of relating to people telling their stories that I do makes me pretty sure that I’m on the right track.
I’ve actually been on Facebook a little bit for the last few days, and following a few autistic / adhd people there has been even more enlightening for me. I think I’m going to just go with taking personal notes. Because from everything I see, I just need to be myself and honest for this diagnosis some time in the future.
I’m capable of doing homework, just usually the wrong types. Like spending weeks or months making lists of every last bit of Sonic the Hedgehog (or whatever my current fixation is) content, and all the variations, along with dates, in order of release, including shit like amusement park rides that I’ll never emulate or play the soundtrack of. Until I burn myself out eventually and bed rot for a while in between whatever the next obsession is.
Sounds like ADHD to me. Are you seeing a specialist in Autism/ADHD or a generalist? I saw a psychiatrist who specialized in ADHD, which made it a lot easier because she knew what to look for and also was really ready to listen to me and help me.
She also was much more understanding about appointments because of it.
Well from what I’ve learnt now (the wheels are in motion and this is going to be government not private), I have to actually see a regular doctor in the hospital first, then they refer me to whoever it is that I actually need to see. So it sounds like I’ll be on the road to seeing a specialist and having more answers soon!
