I have been on HRT for a little over two months. I am taking sprio and sublingual estradiol.
These treatments have pretty much cured my depression, but otherwise I feel pretty much the same. I kind of expected estrogen to feel actively different most of the time, but so far that doesn’t seem to be the case.
However, today I felt my nerves for the first time on HRT, and it felt very different. I get stage fright on occasion. This time wasn’t worse or anything, but it felt so very different. Like the nerves were in my body instead of my head.
Has anyone else had similar experiences with performance anxiety before and after HRT? I’d also love to know if are other experiences that feel distinctly different that I can look forward to.
Thx in advance. Love you all <3
If the effects of HRT sound magical to you, there’s a reasonable probability you could be trans.
I spent years reading trans communities on the internet, out of interest, while assuming I wasn’t trans myself. Now that I have started transitioning, my only regret is not starting sooner.
I own a Blåhaj and hug it every night… your suspicion is on the right track, it does make me feel gender-questioning but I’m still comfortably cis-male by day. Transitioning would only add a lot to my and my family’s existing mental burdens even if I were sure about it; I’m frankly not far from having to apply to a psychiatric ward. The legal framework for changing one’s gender officially will only come in about 5-20 years in the Czech Republic, depending on election results, and mainstream support and language adaptation will take even longer.
TW: Sad story
On the other hand, I know an AFAB teen among four siblings who’s been wearing boy haircuts and clothes (including swimsuits) and playing soccer in an otherwise boys’ team until puberty really kicked in at about age 14. They wanted to become a pro goalkeeper or racecar mechanic, at least at some point. Not sure if they tried to satisfy their father’s open desire for a son or really felt masculine, I haven’t been close enough to ask. Now they seem to accept their feminine body but still, it’s maybe just because of the strict conservative parents (“MLM Homeopathy Hannah” & “Unemployed Know-It-All Gamer Greg” who kicked out their studying 18yo daughter for refusing to start paying rent). I’ve been referring to “them” in English although they go by Czech “she/her” publicly (there is no neutral way to address someone in a language that is gendered all the way down) because they would very likely be on puberty blockers or T right now if that was normalized culturally. Very sad they weren’t given a choice.
My family is more open than that but the existing conflicts are enough.
You have to do what you have to do to be safe. I understand. Take care of yourself. <3
Despite your real life circumstances, at least while you’re here, the title of trans woman is yours if you choose to accept it.
I remember questioning my gender before I was a young adult. As a kid, I once wanted to crossdress for a photoshoot and wanted to join Girl Scouts (maybe because I was the butt of jokes among the boys). Later I was contemplating about my Reddit (now Lemmy) username by trying to list my most static and key traits. I decided gender was neither, and that was over 5 years ago.
As for Czech culture, it’s weird how our typical “live and let live” mentality gets thrown out the window at the idea of a person with a functioning penis being legally a woman or enby. We might get neopronouns someday but the language would need to undergo major changes and the vast majority disagrees with any given proposal. There are even no gender-neutral names other than exotic ones nobody knows how to pronounce or conjugate, or domestic forms (Péťa = Petr/Petra, Vlasta = Vlastislav/Vlastimil/Vlastimila, Míša = Michal/Michael/Michaela) that are only possible as legal names under rare conditions. Even Czech surnames give off the gender with few exceptions. There isn’t even a Czech word for gender since “pohlaví” means (biological) sex, and most people roll their eyes when they hear about “this new concept known by the English word ‘gender’”.