Thanks to my ADHD I came across as random. But it’s not “Lol, Monkey Muffin! See so random1”
It’s one thing will remind me of another, which will remind me of another, and that will remind me of another.
So let’s say someone’s talking about aliens, that makes me think of crop circles and cows, cows! Cow and Chicken, the raunchy 90’s kid’s show that really would have been on Adult Swim if that was a thing back then, oh my god Adult Swim! Aqua Teen Hunger Force, I love Master Shake… Oh God milkshakes! I really am craving some chocolate right now.
So while the other person is talking about aliens, I respond not really having heard what they’re talking about with…
“Did you know that the stereotype that women like chocolate actually has a basis in truth, you see during menstrual ramps the human body burns through its supplies of magnesium, causing the body to seek more, a common foodstuff with magnesium is chocolate. So the body is told to seek out chocolate, but the person in question is not conciously aware of the specifics. It’s rather strange isn’t it? How our random cravings are often just the cure to what’s ailing us?”
And it looks like I’m weird and not paying attention, when I am, but… to a long chain that no one else can see.
I don’t have ADHD, but my trick for introducing these chain-of-thought topics back into conversation is like this:
One degrees of separation: normal topic, can be added to conversation with no introduction
Two degrees of separation: “You mentioned ______, which made me think of _______”
More than two degrees of separation: Either don’t bother, or, if it’s really interesting, then wait for a good time and then hit 'em with "Hey guys, sorry to interrupt, this is kind of random but I just thought of… "
The issue is that the chain-of-thought is always at least 10 long and growing faster than you can speak or consciously keep up with. When you’re that deep in it, you’ve already forgotten what the first link in the chain was and how it relates to the conversation, or what the other person’s talking about entirely.
So it’s always don’t bother, “sorry what did you say?” or “here’s something random but super tangentially related but I can’t really explain why”
How does it work when you’re in a conversation with other ADHD people? Is it just as tough? Or do yalls conversations just go at a faster rate to keep up with a chains of thoughts? Sorry if I"m asking too much, just curious
Or do yalls conversations just go at a faster rate to keep up with a chains of thoughts?
Pretty much this + a de facto understanding that this shit happens and it feels less futile explaining the chain (or what you remember of it). And sometimes “how the fuck did we even get on this topic” becomes a fun minigame.
I’ll never forget what it was like to share an officie with 2 other people with adhd. I’d start talking about one topic, jump three topics over because they’re obviously related, and they’d just follow along without needing me to hold their hand. It was amazing
Remember when My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic became big?
I babysat kids at the time and ended up watching it a lot with them. I couldn’t help relating to the character Pinkie Pie. To most outside observers, she’s random as hell. But if you pay attention, she’s really thinking several steps ahead of the others. There was an episode where she clearly figured out a solution early on, but nobody else is on her level, so although she went about working toward the solution in the background, one could easily assume she was just dicking around. Then near the end, everything comes together. She knew the problem, she knew the solution, and now she’s there to save the day.
She is ADHD incarnate, complete with outside assumptions that underestimate her intelligence and abilities. But if you’ve also got a brain that jumps from topic-to-topic at a rapid pace, it can be easy to understand her “random” (not random at all) trains of thought.
My brain works a lot like this, too. I’m pretty sure I’ve got ADHD, but I was never diagnosed. Things also improved markedly when I started taking anxiety meds. I still struggle a bit, but it’s much less debilitating now that I don’t have a bunch of intrusive thoughts and other anxieties feeding it.
It’s now actually somewhat helpful because I’ve got it mostly under control, and allows me to connect really unrelated thoughts and evaluate them without going all the way down the rabbit hole.
Just don’t ask me to put the garbage bag in the garbage can after I take it out lol
Thanks to my ADHD I came across as random. But it’s not “Lol, Monkey Muffin! See so random1”
It’s one thing will remind me of another, which will remind me of another, and that will remind me of another.
So let’s say someone’s talking about aliens, that makes me think of crop circles and cows, cows! Cow and Chicken, the raunchy 90’s kid’s show that really would have been on Adult Swim if that was a thing back then, oh my god Adult Swim! Aqua Teen Hunger Force, I love Master Shake… Oh God milkshakes! I really am craving some chocolate right now.
So while the other person is talking about aliens, I respond not really having heard what they’re talking about with…
“Did you know that the stereotype that women like chocolate actually has a basis in truth, you see during menstrual ramps the human body burns through its supplies of magnesium, causing the body to seek more, a common foodstuff with magnesium is chocolate. So the body is told to seek out chocolate, but the person in question is not conciously aware of the specifics. It’s rather strange isn’t it? How our random cravings are often just the cure to what’s ailing us?”
And it looks like I’m weird and not paying attention, when I am, but… to a long chain that no one else can see.
I don’t have ADHD, but my trick for introducing these chain-of-thought topics back into conversation is like this:
Works pretty well most of the time.
I do have ADHD.
The issue is that the chain-of-thought is always at least 10 long and growing faster than you can speak or consciously keep up with. When you’re that deep in it, you’ve already forgotten what the first link in the chain was and how it relates to the conversation, or what the other person’s talking about entirely.
So it’s always don’t bother, “sorry what did you say?” or “here’s something random but super tangentially related but I can’t really explain why”
How does it work when you’re in a conversation with other ADHD people? Is it just as tough? Or do yalls conversations just go at a faster rate to keep up with a chains of thoughts? Sorry if I"m asking too much, just curious
Sometimes you get multiple simultaneous conversations!
Pretty much this + a de facto understanding that this shit happens and it feels less futile explaining the chain (or what you remember of it). And sometimes “how the fuck did we even get on this topic” becomes a fun minigame.
Dang. Good idea. I just need to remember to do that
I’ll never forget what it was like to share an officie with 2 other people with adhd. I’d start talking about one topic, jump three topics over because they’re obviously related, and they’d just follow along without needing me to hold their hand. It was amazing
Remember when My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic became big?
I babysat kids at the time and ended up watching it a lot with them. I couldn’t help relating to the character Pinkie Pie. To most outside observers, she’s random as hell. But if you pay attention, she’s really thinking several steps ahead of the others. There was an episode where she clearly figured out a solution early on, but nobody else is on her level, so although she went about working toward the solution in the background, one could easily assume she was just dicking around. Then near the end, everything comes together. She knew the problem, she knew the solution, and now she’s there to save the day.
She is ADHD incarnate, complete with outside assumptions that underestimate her intelligence and abilities. But if you’ve also got a brain that jumps from topic-to-topic at a rapid pace, it can be easy to understand her “random” (not random at all) trains of thought.
My brain works a lot like this, too. I’m pretty sure I’ve got ADHD, but I was never diagnosed. Things also improved markedly when I started taking anxiety meds. I still struggle a bit, but it’s much less debilitating now that I don’t have a bunch of intrusive thoughts and other anxieties feeding it.
It’s now actually somewhat helpful because I’ve got it mostly under control, and allows me to connect really unrelated thoughts and evaluate them without going all the way down the rabbit hole.
Just don’t ask me to put the garbage bag in the garbage can after I take it out lol
Anxiety and ADHD have big synergy. How much you overthink something and how many things you have to overthink. It’s multiplicative, not additive.