I have heard from multiple people that eye contact is essential in letting a girl (or guy, I guess) know you’re interested.
But what is the 411 when it comes to said eye contact? Do you keep looking until she does? Do you then keep staring? Or is like looking at the sun? What’s the deal?
First you need to approach in a non threatening way. Ideally, by shouting “I am bigger and stronger than you! If I wanted you dead, you’d be by now!”
That way they know you are NOT a threat
If possible, make them feel secure by brandishing a weapon of any kind. That way they know they WILL be safe near you
Ah yes, the pufferfish method.
You know what erases all of this? Just SAYING it. TELL people what you mean and skip all the games.
Any advice for autistic people who are uncomfortable with eye contact?
As far as I know I’m not autistic, but hate eye contact and just kinda decided to not worry about it? Eye contact is cultural anyway, and in some countries it’s unusual or rude so I guess I just decided it’s not that important to me. That’s one option!
But for practical advice on improving if that’s what you want to strive for I find it’s easier to practice with someone you’re comfortable with. Looking between their eyes while talking casually. Not like staring, but reminding yourself to look up occasionally during conversation. And increasing the length of time you hold eye contact until it’s uncomfortable and look away. It’ll become more natural to you over time :)
There’s also videos available on YouTube that are for practicing eye contact but I found them creepy. My mistake was probably smoking weed beforehand, so maybe don’t do that!
Best of luck to you!
The image actually comes from an eye contact practise video
I don’t know if it actually works or not. But I heard that looking between someone’s eyes or slightly upon their forehead also helps.
Works 100% percent of the time.
60% of the time it works all the time.
I look like this…
You look them deep in the center of their eyes and breath deep and smile and then you use your fucking words to tell them.
There is an evolutionary trait that checks potential partners for eye dilation after prolonged eye contact, supposedly to check for defects, but all it does is a little Seratonin so it’s useless in a world of rational choice.
You look them deep in the center of their eyes
Like in between the eyes or in the middle of one eye? If it’s one eye, do you pick one or do you switch? At which frequency?
Every 6.9 microseconds. Remember to very your pitch
Damn, I have to train.
So I think the question could be refined a little. Eye contact helps build connection between people, but it’s not the only piece of the puzzle. Maybe a better question is “'How do I communicate more empathetically?”
There’s another question; “How do I let someone know I’m interested?” This question is related to the first in that trying to get close to another person (being vulnerable with each other) and communicating your feelings is how you let someone know your interested.
TLDR: get to know them and tell them you’re interested. If they say they’re not interested you can probably still be friends since you already got to know each other. Empathy and humility/vulnerability are key in building relationships.
You won’t get good answers on social cues from Lemmy. You might get good Linux tips though.
Fair enough, what Linux command do you use to make eye contact?
export DISPLAY=:0; xeyes
touch eyes
This is inappropriate on so many levels:
- If there are eyes and you touch them it’s wrong.
- If a person doesn’t have eyes touching where they are isn’t going to be a winning strategy either
- If you touch a file in Linux called eyes and create it people will be very confused
- If there’s already an existing file called eyes that’s disturbing. What? Why?
cat eyesof Sauron [elrond@rivendell ~] runuser -l guest.frodo -c '/home/guest.frodo/ring.sh' cat eyes cat: no such file or directory
LinusSexTips
Sure 😏 (Public key already on my profile, if you want)
Why won’t you send me your private key? Don’t you trust me? 🥺💔😭
---BEGIN PGP PRIVATE KEY--- hunter2 ---END PGP PRIVATE KEY---😉
How does one patch KDE2 under FreeBSD?
Probably using ports, but it depends on the version.
Linux != FreeBSD
It’s all vibes. There is no cheat code, you just have to grok social ques by spending lots of time with people. Put your 10000 hours in, its worth it people are fascinating.
grok social ques
Best possible word choice to tell us you can’t do it yourself.
how dare you. I have friends they just go to a different school
bro the last paragraph makes you sound like an ailen trying to mimic humans ngl
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
GREETINGS FELLOW HUMAN
Do I sound like a handsome alien, at least?
In her book “How to talk to anyone” Leil Lowndes suggests that when speaking with women it’s best to maintain constant, unbroken eye contact to signal attention and interest. She goes on to note that even when engaged in conversation with multiple people one should act as if their eyes are constantly glued to the woman, only briefly looking away when another person is speaking and behaving as if your eyes are irresistibly drawn back to the woman of interest. She believes this formula is best in male to female conversations and female to female conversation.
By contrast, she notes that when engaged in a male to male conversation, one should regularly break eyecontact as not to be perceived as a threat. However, one should still act as if your eyes are being irresistibly drawn back to theirs.
… I have no idea what Lowndes’s qualifications are and frankly this sounds like a formula written by an alien trying to understand humans but hey maybe theres some merrit to it idk
She goes on to note that even when engaged in conversation with multiple people one should act as if their eyes are constantly glued to the woman, only briefly looking away when another person is speaking and behaving as if your eyes are irresistibly drawn back to the woman of interest.
Honestly, as a woman, if a man started doing this to me in a group I’d be freaked the fuck out
Yep. As if women would never perceive men as a threat based on the same signals men would use to perceive threat.
Men, logical and hunter warrior manly men. Women, attention seekers. Therefore, stare down pretty women to show manly manness.
Alpha bro evo psych is so wild.
Yeah but due to conditioning from many generations of patriarchy, the man being perceived as a threat might actually help his chances. A disproportionately high ratio of women seem to enjoy threatening sexual partners.
If getting laid is the only goal, the male has more to fear from not trying than fear of rejection. That and pepper spray.
Focussing… Focussing…
Kinda sounds like it would be the same kind of thing that brought forth the whole “alpha male” thing.
I got that vibe throughout the entire book. It really smelled to me of someone trying to justify their own success when in reality she was probably just born with the right connections.
Okay but where’s the line between “unbroken eye contact to signal attention and interest” and just being a creepy stalker?
Varies with attractiveness.
Well, I got the impression that the author was mostly hanging out in upper class society. So while she’s asserting that these rules are universally applicable, her frame of reference seemed to be mostly talking to people in situations like fundraisers and galas. I imagine she’s operating on a framework of always having some prior knowledge of the people she’s engaging with.
Gotta follow rules 1 and 2, of course.
The only community I’ve been in where men constantly break eye contact is the military. And that’s because we were in Iraq and constantly checking out surroundings as we talked. Men are not gorillas. Eye contact is perceived as paying attention to the conversation.
From my experience, if you make eye contact, look away briefly, then look back. If she’s still looking at you, hold eye contact for a moment and smile. If she likes you, she’ll likely smile back.
If she’s purposely avoiding making eye contact the second time, don’t be a creep, carry on with your day 👌
No no no. If she’s purposely avoiding eye contact you have to stare at her with wide open eyes and a big smile.
If she walks away follow her, if she starts running away from you, run after her. She’s telling you to come over.
That’s how you conquer a woman /s
There’s a very thin line between the longing look of admiration and the cold gaze of a serial killer.
We are like the least qualified social media to answer this
Well… where do I find the most qualified social media then??
I love the errors you get and the timing of the errors
lmao!
sometimes i keep looking until she does, sometimes i keep staring at her. it doesn’t matter, based on the condition
It’s not just eye contact, there’s all the rest of it too including other body language and how you’re speaking to someone.
That said, I used to occasionally hang with a guy that chased all the girls (the kind of guy that would ignore you as soon as a girl he could be interested in showed up) and he would all but stare at her in conversation. Made me uncomfortable by proxy, lol. Seemed effective, but that’s what he did.
